Have you been living under the weight of parenting as a competitive sport?  

As a parent of a kindergartner, I am just beginning to get a real-time sense of the pressures on parents and children in school.  It's so easy to spend our days rushing our children from one enriching activity to the next in an effort to keep up with society's staggering pace. Tensions are rife as parents sense the need to stay on schedule and children wane in enthusiasm to keep up.  All this "enrichment" brings squabbles, tension and exhaustion.

What are the outcomes of this pace on our families?

Our children

• Our children become more easily stressed as they do not see their parents come down nor learn to individually foster that peace themselves.  Being stripped of this essential skill may be manageable now, but it could foster burnout later in life when pressures will only mount.
• They can develop the need to be constantly entertained rather than an inkling for creative play and the opportunity to naturally gravitate toward what attracts them through casual exploration.  In other words, they sidestep an essential phase of God-ordained self-discovery.
• Most importantly, they may benefit from advancements in a particular skill from an instructor, but they miss the monumental benefit of extensive time with parents for the instruction that is meant to shape their whole life.

Parents

• Afraid our children will miss out, we set the bar high for our children - and ourselves.  We live days of constant scrambling and exhaustion.
• We may masterfully keep many small balls in the air, but in doing so, we lose hands for the big ones.  In other words, our children may be expertly scheduled, but our own self-care, faith practice, and even marriages can suffer.
• We lose a sense of fulfillment.  It's easier to run mindlessly from one activity to the next than to employ introspection.  Yet God created each child and each family as unique with different rhythms.  When we neglect his creation plan, we only serve to undermine the very thing we are looking to build.

In effect, our schedules are full but our souls are thin.  

Are you feeling this way, weary mama?  Do you know what our faith can do?

First, we can look to Christ.  In modeling the way we were meant to live as Christians, Christ was unafraid to buck the trend while teaching us the path to true life.  He valued introspection and intentionally removed himself from the crowd to seek the Father's direction.  He sometimes made decisions that differed from people's expectations to remain faithful to a larger truth.  He often operated on the periphery of society and proved to be the most powerful there.  These are principles that we can apply in our parenting too when facing societal pressure.*

Second, we can draw strength from an insightful metaphor.  The other day I heard a pastor describe two kinds of birds.  There are birds who flock together, who travel in groups.  But there are also eagles who travel alone, soaring high above the fray.  As Christians, God ordained us to be eagles.  It is only then that we can reap the full benefits of our faith.  In this case, those benefits are a happier home life and the increased emotional health and stability of our children in a culture that can inadvertently undermine these things. 

We can cast off any insecurity and anxiety as parents and appeal to a higher standard - the call of God in our lives.  Only then can we find freedom rooted in a larger purpose, and the kind of renewal for our weariness that society cannot offer.  That freedom comes with a promise too:

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

*For scriptural examples regarding my points about the life of Christ above, see Luke 5:16, John 8:2-11, and Matthew 9:10 respectively.

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If you liked this post, please check out my iBelieve article that explores this topic too. Click here to read "3 Common Mistakes Every Parent Should Avoid."

If you're interested in making God's promises a part of your daily living, don't miss the free printable that I'm giving away on my blog to new email subscribers.  This professionally designed printable lists scripture's "5 Promises to Live By."  It's emailed to you so that you can print out as many copies as you'd like to hang up as reminders! 

Have you ever felt:

• Excluded
• Flawed
• Under-qualified
• Unlovable
• Or even, unworthy of your blessings?

These emotions are treacherous.  They're treacherous because we can all feel them. They're treacherous because they can persistently whisper down deep below the surface. On the outside, we may look fine.  But these insecurities can secretly chip away at our souls.

It's one thing to know God's promises, but it's another to really believe them.  How do we take what we read on the pages of scripture and make them a part of how we esteem ourselves?  How do we replace lies with God's truth?  I am not talking about composing a sound belief structure.  I am talking about rewriting the very personal voices in our head and heart.

The other day my son brought home a jelly bracelet in the shape of an airplane.  He was really proud of it.  It was a reward from one of his teachers for his helpfulness at school. Well, little boys seldom sit still with things they treasure.  It didn't take long before he was pulling and twisting his bracelet until it resembled one thing - a hot mess.  It looked nothing like a bracelet or airplane at all.

That's when he said, "Mommy, would you like to see a magic trick?"

Enticed, I replied yes.  

He marched over to his dresser, strung the bracelet around one of its knobs, and pulled the bracelet in a particular way.  "This is how you have to do it," he said.  I had no idea what he was talking about until he walked back over to me and showed me the bracelet in his hand: It was a perfectly formed airplane again.

Later that day while I was brushing his teeth, he turned to me and asked, "How does my bracelet go back to being an airplane again, Mommy?"

I described how it was formed:  The plastic was heated up really hot and put into a mold. The bracelet has memory from that initial molding.

I was struck by the similarities between the bracelet and us.  We too have been molded into a particular shape or destiny by our Creator.  God fashioned us and knew us in the deep before we had even come into existence.  We can never erase his initial molding.

Just like my son and his jelly bracelet, we can make make a mess of things sometimes. That mess may be the actions we take, or it may be the lies we allow to whisper to our heart.  The great news is that although that mess may distort our reality, God promises that it can never undo the mark that he's put on us.  We may feel pulled and twisted, but God knows how to restore us and make things right.  

So if you're feeling excluded, remember that God is for you - who can be against you? Romans 8:31

If you're feeling flawed, remember that you were created by God with purpose and intention.  Psalm 139:13-14

If you're feeling under-qualified, remember that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.  Philippians 4:13

If you're feeling unlovable, remember that absolutely nothing can separate you from God's love in Jesus Christ.  Romans 8:38-39

If you're feeling unworthy of your blessings, remember that God has good plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Jeremiah 29:11

Our Creator who formed us is close at hand.  The words on the pages of our scripture weren't written simply for faithful people in times past, but God is uttering them to each of us right now.  He has formed us in his image as a people whom he wants to bless with his promises.  It's how we're made.  It's his gift through faith.  And to receive it, we simply need to fully rest in our Creator's hands...an MARVEL at his mark and workmanship.

If you're interested in making God's promises a part of your daily living, don't miss the free printable that I'm giving away on my blog to new email subscribers.  This professionally designed printable lists scripture's "5 Promises to Live By."  It's emailed to you so that you can print out as many copies as you'd like to hang up as reminders! 

Has sickness swept through your house recently?  Read on and find out:

* What hope-filled lesson can you learn about God when your children are sick?

* As you wipe runny noses and tend to others, who is caring for you?

Recently both kids were sick.  The doctor said that it was viral, so all I could do was address the symptoms and wait for them to get better.  Inevitably, they would both be crying for something at the same time.  Both looked so helpless with fevers and runny noses.  I wanted to scoop them into my arms all of the time.  But the reality is that I was constantly prioritizing.  I had to rate who had the most pressing need, help that child first, and then go to the other.  I found myself explaining to each what I had to do for the other while they were waiting.  I am not sure how much my littler one understood my explanations, but I noticed that he did calm to the sound of my voice.

I couldn't help but wonder about the resonances of this experience in our own faith lives.  How often do we come to God with pressing needs, waiting for God to answer them.  Sometimes we do not get what we want right away; sometimes we have to wait.  We can listen to God's words in scripture to know his promises, and the sound of God's voice through the Spirit may calm us a while.  But we really have no idea what God is juggling.  I had my hands full with two children.  God holds all of creation in his hands as he seeks to tend and nurture it.  And you can bet that God desires to wipe every tear from our eyes too.

I have a new appreciation for God's love.  And an awe, really, for we know that all things work for good for those who love God.  The fact that every single believer can rest upon that promise, that God can juggle all of our lives for our good, is incredible.  I know how much I wanted to comfort my children and bring them back to health; we are children of a Heavenly Father who wants to bring us wholeness and blessing too.  I know how much I wanted my children to trust in my good care; we are children of a Heavenly Father who invites us to trust too.  My understanding of God's providence has grown, which allows me to rest more fully in the loving arms of God myself.

Prayer:  Dear God, Thank you for your providential care.  Please deepen my trust in you.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NRSV).

*****

If you liked this post, you might also like A Haunting Ocean Tale.

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."  

- 1 Corinthians 13:12, New Living Translation

Blind trust in God is powerful.  Jesus applauded it.  When Thomas needed to see the crucified marks on his hands to know that he was the risen Lord, Jesus showed him.  But he added, "You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me"(John 20:29).

I've increasingly noticed the Christian life is fraught with paradoxes.  This is another one. How can we gain more power in life by recognizing our own limitations?  But that is precisely the case with faith.  When we recognize our own limitations, when we turn to God in trust and rely on his strength, we become far more than we could ever be otherwise.

Trust means that we may not be able to explain things in the moment.  Maybe your mirror is a puzzling reflection right now.  Paul knew that's often the case in life as he recorded the scripture above.  But scripture also holds promises for you.  Not only does Paul acknowledge that confusion is temporary, but Jesus himself uttered blessing for those who will trust with blind faith.

I love how Max Lucado attempts to explain this principle to children - I think there's a lesson in there for us too.  In his book Grace for the Moment: 365 Devotions for Kids, he explains:

"Look out a window.  You can see clearly, right?  Now breathe on it so that the glass fogs up.  It's hard to see through the fog, but you know everything is still there.  When the fog melts away, you'll see clearly again.  It's the same with God.  Sometimes we must wait for the fog (our troubles) to melt away.  Then we can clearly see how God has been there the whole time."

As we go into the New Year, my prayer is that this message finds a home in your heart.  For those who are sitting in confusion and darkness, know that God is present with you through the fog.  Believe.  Trust.  One day you will look back and see how his light was a guiding force for you when you remain faithful.

For those who are called to make a step beyond their own understanding, recognize the incredible gift of our faith:  It is only through God that we can become all whom he has called us to be.  True strength lies in the chasm between our best effort and the further, glorious place where he wants us to be.  {Click to Tweet.}  It's not about your own strength or understanding.  Just take his hand and show up!

*****

Happy New Year, friends!  Did this post resonate with you?  Share your comments below. In addition, you might also appreciate the posts Warning: Peaks Ahead, Risky Business, What to Do in a Storm, 4 Life-Saving Lessons When Adversity Strikes and What I Learned from a Staircase.

Also, the quote above is from Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment: 365 Devotions for Kids (Nashville: Tommy Nelson, 2012), 309.

Every once in a while you come across a book that should do more than remain on your "one day I'll read it" list.  It begs you to create the space for it, and once you do, you can't put it down.  Today, I'm writing about such a book.

Face it, our schedules are full and our lives are harried as moms.  Especially this time of year, my mind races with internal lists even when I'm not ticking tasks off of my to do list. But there is something sacred about this season that begs us to slow down and notice its wonder, and if we don't, we'll miss it.

The writer of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet is well aware of these whispered invitations to delight in God's presence.  But she hasn't noticed them in the quiet glow of Christmas lights. She has noticed them through pain and struggle in her life - through the bitter things.

Writing with boldness and vulnerability, Sara Hagerty invites us into a world - her world - where things are not working out as she'd planned.  Her marriage is rocky, her finances are strained, and her infertility leaves her broken.  She writes in short vignettes akin to personal journey entries as she seeks God in the darkness.

But in the darkness, she finds a great light.  She discovers the bitter things are developing a hunger within her.  It's a hunger for a genuine faith relationship with God, one which is rooted in adoration.  Yes, in the midst of the darkness, she begins to adore.

It is through adoration that her story becomes so compelling and life changing for her readers.  I felt motivated to reach for God in the hardened recesses of my being as I saw her strain for God through her tears.  I was inspired to enter into an increasingly intimate conversation with our Creator as I saw Sara do the same - and as I saw God subsequently lift her up.

In the pages of her book, readers will discover the great lengths God will go to to be faithful and answer our every prayer.  If you have been feeling listless in your faith relationship, look to Sara's book to ignite a new passion between you and Jesus.  If you are hardened or in darkness, reach for its hope.

The gift of faith journaling is that our experience of God's faithfulness will forever live on the page.  The gift of Sara's is that now it can also minister to us.  Jesus indeed is coming to Earth to be born in a manger this Christmas.  By reading Sara's book, he's now even more at home in my heart.

This week on my blog, I'm giving away two free copies of Sara's book.  If you are a US resident with a street address for shipping purposes, click here to register before Thursday evening, 12/18, at 7 pm EST.

To learn more about Sara Hagerty, you can read her article for iBelieve or visit her website.  Stay tuned on Wednesday for my exclusive interview with Sara on my blog.

I am delighted to share with you my interview of a fellow author and new friend, Laura Sassi.  Laura's book, Goodnight Ark, is a captivating children's book that's illustrated by the award-winning Jane Chapman.  Readers enter the delightful world of Noah's ark.  If your children have ever been frightened in a storm, then they will find animal friends aboard it. Although her book is not expressly Christian, what follows is a  "behind the scenes" look at how her Christian faith and life as a mom shaped her writing!  

To register for a chance to win a free copy of her book sent to you, either scroll to the bottom of this blog page or click here.  The contest ends tomorrow, 12/10, at 10 am EST. If you'd like to read my review of her book before today's interview, check out yesterday's post.  To see the book trailer, click here.  

1.  What attracted you to entering the world of the biblical story of Noah?

Since I was not raised in a Christian home until I was in 2nd/3rd grade, my first introduction to God and Jesus was through the invitations of a very dear neighbor to attend AWANA and vacation bible school. It was there that I first heard about God through the skilled kid-friendly storytelling of the teachers and camp counselors. In addition to the story of Christmas, one of my early favorites was the story of Noah. Indeed I loved it so much that the first story I ever wrote (as a first grader) was a funny illustrated retelling of Noah and his ark which I still have, thanks to my mom. Given all this, when I got the idea to write a stormy, yet ultimately soothing, bedtime story, the world of Noah and his ark seemed a natural and fun setting.  

2.  Do you see any resonances between your Christian faith and your book?  Explain.  

While Goodnight, Ark is not religious other than the setting, it reflects my deep faith in God as a loving father. After all, just like Noah in the story, God comforts us and loves us through every storm. When looking at Jane’s delightful depictions of all those animals, I also can’t help but think about how creative and amazing our Creator is.

3.  How has being a mother yourself shaped your authorship of this book?

We’ve had some mighty ferocious storms around here in the past few years including two hurricanes and lots of blustery snow and rain storms.  My daughter and the dog have both wanted to climb into our bed. Getting them back to their own beds, in the midst of howling winds and pounding rain, however, has sometimes been challenging, especially when my daughter was younger. So the mother in me thought it might be helpful and fun to write a story that would address some of those fears in a humorous, yet soothing way. 

4.  What do you hope will be the biggest take away for readers of your book?

First and foremost, I want kids (and their parents) to enjoy the story! There’s so much to see on every page, and the rhymes and sound words are fun to read aloud.  Second, I encourage my readers to interact with the book.  It lends itself well to a little game of “I Spy.”  It’s great fun for practicing counting by twos as well.  Third, I’d like children to come away knowing, that like the animals in the story, they too are loved by their parents.  And for anyone seeking a deeper truth, it’s also great reminder that, like Noah in the story, our God is a loving father who comforts us and loves us through every storm.  

ABOUT THE  AUTHOR: Laura Sassi has a passion for telling humorous stories in rhyme.  She writes daily from her century-old home in New Jersey where she lives with her husband, two children, and a black Cockapoo named Sophie. Her poems, stories, articles, and crafts have appeared in Highlights for Children, Cricket, Ladybug, Spider and Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse and Clubhouse Jr. and elsewhere. GOODNIGHT, ARK is her first picture book.  

If you'd like to take advantage of her book's educational opportunities, click here for the exciting ideas Laura has complied from her background as a teacher.  Also, to see another interview I've done, check out what I learned when I met my first CNN Hero by clicking here.

Be sure to tune in next Monday for another giveaway, except this one isn't for your children, it's for YOU!  Win a book that will reinvigorate your faith in the goodness of God, even in the midst of trial. Subscribe by email to my blog so that you don't miss this news AND to get a free printable today!

(Above: Me and Author Laura Sassi of Goodnight, Ark)

One of the first church camp songs I remember singing told the tale of Noah's ark.  The song was especially popular for its memorable repetition and nifty hand motions.  The beginning went like this:

The Lord said to Noah: there's gonna be a floody, floody

Lord said to Noah: there's gonna be a floody, floody

Get those children out of the muddy, muddy

Children of the Lord...

Perhaps you or your children have sung these lyrics too.  But the story of Noah is more than a classic Christian camp song.  It's more than a captivating tale spun in Sunday school classrooms.  It's one of the first times we learn that God's deliverance from life's "storms" is real, and we can see it in a rainbow.  

As we look into the sky, we never outgrow the wonder of a rainbow - and it's promise.

We have all had to navigate life's storms.  Sometimes these storms are scary.  But when there is no rainbow in sight, we can still reach for a hand to hold.  The more I think about it, the ark represented safety for Noah not only through its physical structure, but through the community housed within.  Noah, under God's direction, was not alone - he had his family and all those animals!

Laura Sassi has crafted a compelling tale about what exactly that community was up to.  If your children have ever been frightened in a storm, then they will find animal friends aboard her ark.  And she spins rhymes even more memorable than that early Christian camp song.

My children not only loved her rhymes, but the endearing pictures by award-winning Jane Chapman.  They were already familiar with Chapman's illustrations in Bear Snores On.  The combination of Sassi and Chapman together is magical as it brings to life a familiar tale and demonstrates the power of community.

Want a free copy of Goodnight, Ark sent to you?  Then register for this giveaway by going to by blog or by clicking here.  It's fast and easy, with bonus entry options too!  

The contest will run from 10 am Monday, December 8th to 10 am Wednesday, December 10th EST.

Stay tuned tomorrow for an exclusive interview with Laura!  Although her book is not expressly Christian, we'll get a "behind the scenes" look at how her Christian faith and life as a mom shaped her book!  

For more encouragement as we journey through life's storms, read my post entitled What to Do in a Storm.  For the full lyrics to the "Rise and Shine" song quoted above, click here. 

I live in a neighborhood that really gets into decorating.  Inflatables were everywhere in our neighborhood last Christmas.  And by inflatables, I do not mean small ones.  No.  There were penguins in a life-sized sleigh, a six-foot Frosty, an eight-foot Snoopy, and a traveling twelve-foot Santa who graced several lawns...that was curious.

Our kids loved riding around and seeing the characters, huge outdoor ornaments on trees (we never had those growing up), and lights.  But on one drive by, I was disappointed to see an inflatable Santa in an outhouse.  He would move to peek his head out as the sign above him read, "Occupied."

I get the joke, three shades more crass than the beloved movie classic Christmas Vacation.  But we can choose when to turn a movie on and off in our house.  When something's on a neighborhood lawn, it's a different story.  Every child who saw the Santa was mesmerized, and even if they didn't fully understand the joke, they were still learning.

That inflatable struck me as representing everything wrong with Christmas celebrations in our culture.  Jesus has been replaced by Santa, and even that generous elf isn't safe anymore.  It makes me wonder:  Are we at risk of losing the sacredness of Christmas?

Click here to continue reading this article here on iBelieve.  

If this article resonates with you, here is a prayer to say this week as we seek to intentionally ground our Christmas season:

Dear God, Thank you for sending your precious son Jesus into the world.  Help us to honor that gift as we teach our children.  Give us insight into establishing meaningful traditions that breathe new life and hope into our families and bring us closer to you.  Make us your witnesses, for we praise your glory and marvel at your love.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

*****

I hope you enjoyed this Christmas encouragement from the archives!  Be sure to tune in to http://www.noellekirchner.com on MONDAY next week and the next.  I have two exciting book reviews with free giveaways coming up - the books would make perfect Christmas stocking stuffers! Next week is something for the KIDS, and the next week is something for YOU!  Please spread the word and stay tuned!

{Photo by KB35 at Flickr, Edited}

As mothers, it can be hard to escape the barrage of constant requests and find time to clear our minds.   It can be hard to give proper attention to our own needs, like eating or getting sleep ourselves.  When you compound that with the necessity of meeting life's challenges that inevitably arise along the way, it's easy to worry and get overwhelmed.

That's why something strategic happens when we gather for mealtime at my house.  After wrangling my littler one into his seat, having lengthy discussions with my older one about why we aren’t having candy before the meal, and reminding both of my boys to put their food down until we’ve blessed it, we are ready!  We say a prayer, and then we go around the table and say three things that each of us is thankful for.  Every day.  

I’m trying to foster a grateful heart in my family.  Thanksgiving is the best antidote to worry and anxiety (Philippians 4:6).  It's therefore an important life skill.  I recently read that anxiety is on the rise in our country, with the depression rate growing by about 20% per year.  Couple that with society's increasing pressure on our children to excel, and there is a dangerous crucible.  Teaching our children the value of thankfulness is a way of grounding them.  They are more inclined to see the larger picture of God's grace and orient themselves accordingly.

A spirit of thanksgiving doesn't just equip our children to be stronger on life's journey, but it frees us up as moms to better enjoy our own.  I have heard many experienced parents say that the days go by slowly but the years go by quickly when raising children.  Even though the days can be slow - and frustrating and draining at times - they are also filled with beauty.  I want to nurture a heart that doesn't miss out on the good that God has brought into my life.

I am convinced that a spirit of thanksgiving is the key difference between being a mom who is surviving versus a mom who is thriving.  It’s a difference in perspective.  When we are able to praise God without ceasing, no situation can get us down.  We can use our strength to meet life's challenges rather than wasting effort in anxiety or worry.  And we can better enjoy the present moment all the while.  A Christian who knows the power of thanksgiving is an unstoppable force.  And a mom who knows it - well, she's the kind of mom I want to be.

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING from Vocational Mothering!  If you liked this, I encourage you to check out last year's Thanksgiving post.  Also, are you new to this blog?  Don't miss a post by subscribing by email on the homepage and receive a FREE PRINTABLE of the five scriptural promises to live by today!

Motherhood is a time of abundance.  We experience the joy and privilege of new life, marvel at its innocence, and celebrate its triumphant milestones.  Meanwhile, God grows our heart in ways that were previously unimaginable.  

But motherhood can also be a time of lack.  We are stretched emotionally, physically, and even spiritually as we wrestle with the expected and unexpected difficulties of this sacred task.  All of us wrestle, but some do so more than others.  It has been my joy and privilege to make the acquaintance of a mom who is well aware of that fact.  

Bridget Cutler started The Moms Helping Moms Foundation because she wanted to do something to help fellow moms in need.  She noticed the poverty rate in her home state was significant and climbing.  Her work organizing supplies for moms in New Jersey has garnered her national attention -- She was named a CNN Hero this year. But I met her because our children attend the same Christian preschool.  

Watch this short CNN Hero video segment to meet Bridget:

Click here.

Bridget, in your own words, how would you describe the work of your organization?

"I started this organization in 2011 after my first daughter was born.  I wanted to help local families who were facing financial hardship get access to basic supplies for young children. Over the years we have grown, and we were granted 501c3 status last year.  Our organization collects donations of new and gently used baby items from families who no longer use them.  Through partnerships with local service organizations, we distribute the supplies to local families in need.  It's a very simple idea, but it's very impactful!  We have been told countless times that our help has lifted a burden and allowed recipients to focus on being better parents."

I am grateful for Bridget's vision and work.  The beauty of it doesn't stop with the donations themselves, however.  It also has to do with the face to face assistance that moms receive when they "shop" for free at the foundation's store.  We all know that motherhood supplies can be overwhelming and baffling at times - what a gift to have experienced moms personalize that aid!  

Would you like to help the Moms Helping Moms Foundation?  Click here to learn how you can donate your time or items if you live in or around Union, NJ.  Union is in the New York metro area, and it's the location of their new store. Otherwise, they accept donations through their website and certainly welcome your prayers!  

The foundation models that there is power in community.  I love the solidarity of moms coming together for a common purpose, and I pray each of us is able to do so in our respective communities. God will do the nudging; we just need to respond.  When we embrace our role as the body of Christ, we can make a big difference by offering even simple gifts.  Sometimes it just takes:

• one text to check in
• one phone call to show concern
• one carpool shift to lift a burden
• one donation to make a difference

...And one act of kindness to start a movement that can change the world.

*****

If you want to be a part of a community of moms who are looking to infuse God into motherhood, and receive spiritual support for its sacred task, consider becoming an email subscriber to this blog!  Those who do will receive a free printable - it's a beautiful rendition of the 5 scriptural promises to live by!

Let’s be honest.  We live in a world in which sex is used to sell – you name it. 

The issue of sex concerns me as a parent, and I know I’m not alone.  The world is so intensely sexualized.  And instead of sex being portrayed as the beautiful, biblical gift that it is, it's used as a marketing tool and means of exploitation.  Further, children are encouraged to experiment with it earlier and earlier.  

I recently heard youth culture and sexuality expert Jason Soucinek give a lecture to empower wary parents.  Although this topic is a bit down the road for me with young children, I am always up for information gathering on important issues. And I'm excited to share this information with you - whether you are in the information gathering phase too, or if you have teenagers and need some workable advice now.

Sadly, the internet is currently children's number one information source on sex.  As parents, we know that we need to appropriately restrict their access to inappropriate material.  One source said that the average age of introduction to pornography is now only four years old due to the nature of public advertisements and computer pop ups.  But censoring is only part of the solution.  We have to be willing to talk about sex too.  

Why talking is important

The number one thing that Jason advocated is that parents be willing to talk to their children about sex.  Statistic after statistic proves that parents are simply the most influential in shaping their children's views.  This is true even if you think it isn't.  Even if you think your children aren't listening, even if it appears they are blowing you off - they're still influenced.  The key is to be willing to meet them where they are, really listen to their perspective, and be willing to "go there" in communicating our own.

What do I mean by being willing to "go there?"  Jason talked about how a parent's elliptical treatment of sex is often passed down.  If our parents didn't really address the issue with us, then we're likely to do the same with our children.  He was adamant that sex education is not the primary responsibility of schools or the church; these institutions should build upon a framework that parents have already established.  A direct line of communication between children and parents is essential.  

It is this direct line of communication that can save our children from unnecessary pain and provide them with valuable instruction.  It also encourages children to go to us first with questions.  Because the issue is so relevant and pertinent to our children’s formation, we should guard our role and create a safe and protective space for our children as their primary resource.

Framing the issue

Jason provided a helpful metaphor to breach the issue of sex with our children.  Sex is like an iceberg, he said.  Did you know that only 10% of an iceberg is above the water?  Yes, 90% of an iceberg is actually hidden underwater, and that’s what sunk the Titanic.

Like an iceberg, when people approach the issue of sex, they often think of the visible 10%, which is the physical act.  But sex is much more beneath the surface.  It also has social, communal, emotional, and spiritual components.  To neglect that would be to put ourselves at risk.

In an age when puberty is happening earlier and marriage is happening later, children must wrestle with the issue of sexual restraint more than any preceding generation.  Educating our children about the gravity of the act with its various components helps to balance out the pervasively superficial cultural view.  It’s also an entry point for a biblical discussion about sex - one in which sex is certainly celebrated, but framed as well.

7 Talking Tips

Jason had seven important tips for parents who are ready to talk with their children:

1.  Remember that talking about sex is more of a process than a confrontation.  This can remove tension on both sides and invite meaningful dialogue.

2.  Statistically speaking, we need to communicate important messages over 7 times.  Just having one good talk about sex isn't enough to ingrain the message.

3.  In order for the message to really hit home, a teenager needs to hear the same message from 5 different adults.  This is when cultivating relationships with other families who have similar values can be helpful.  

4.  We can't parent out of our own pain or our own shame.  Sexuality can be a constructive or destructive force.  If we have experienced pain, we need to be able to separate our experience from that of our child's - but that doesn't mean neglecting to appropriately share our wisdom.

5.  Don't shelter yourself.  Parents need to educate themselves.  Have your children play their music for you, listen to conversations when driving carpool, and read school newspapers – do “field research” so that you can give poignant advice.

6.  No age is too young to start answering questions.  Gear your responses to your child's age, and if they are on the younger side, invite them to tell you when they have heard enough to satisfy their curiosity without feeling uncomfortable.

7.  Be sure to use the proper names for body parts in your discussions too; this simplifies the communication line and allows any adult to understand your child should there ever be a concern.  (This is an important step in combating child abuse.)

On an issue this prominent in our culture, it’s a sad fact that the church has often been a lacking voice in the conversation.  As influential as the church might be, however, Jason’s research shows that parents are more successful in transmitting values.  So instead of pointing fingers, we as parents need to accept our own responsibility on the front lines.  It’s an important first step.

*****

Are you interested in learning more about navigating hot parenting topics from the Christian perspective?  I invite you to become an email subscriber to my blog and receive a free printable today!  In the past, I have covered topics like worldly success and eating disorders.

Dear Friends,

I am excited to present my blog's first FREE GIVEAWAY!  I have been working with Emily Burger, of Emily Burger Designs, on a truly special printable.  Emily is a fellow Christian mom and talented artist!

This printable holds five scriptural affirmations for children.  It is one that you can hang on the wall in your child's bedroom, by your dining table, or even inside your medicine cabinet to remind you of God's special promises.  Memorize them, teach them to your children, and keep them close to your heart.

ALL you need to do is become a new subscriber via email to my blog to receive it. You can submit your email address in the blank on the upper right hand corner of my blog screen.  Once you do, you will receive a confirmation link to your email.  Click on that, and you're subscribed!  Please look in your spam if you do not see that confirmation link in your inbox promptly!  After your subscription is successful, I will email you the printable.  It will come to you as a PDF attachment for easy printing.  Now, you will get each Vocational Mothering post sent to your inbox too - this is valuable because with Facebook's filters, sometimes you can miss something!

Thank you all for your support!  I am delighted to be on this ministry adventure with you.

Noelle

Vocational Mothering, Honoring motherhood as a sacred task

I learned an unforgettable lesson from a staircase.  Surprisingly, the teacher was my dawdling toddler.

He was learning to go down the stairs by himself.  He had mastered going up a long time ago.  At first, going down was a little scary for him, so he was cautious.  Then it became a game.  He was not sure if he wanted to go up or down every time he was on them.  But he was very sure he did not want my help.

I was sure I did not want him to fall.  Our stairs were not yet carpeted, so a spill down the wooden staircase was especially dangerous.  I would stay a few steps down, encouraging and spotting him.  I would remind him to climb down on his belly, since he had more control.  I tried to anticipate any slipping.

I was happy that he was learning this new skill - my back needed a break!  But I was not thrilled about how much time he spent practicing.  And inevitably, he would start to play his game when the phone was ringing downstairs and my older son was calling for me.  

As I resigned myself to being patient on the stairs one day, I thought about how God sometimes waits for us.  Sometimes we are well aware of something God is calling us to do, whether it is to learn a new skill, follow through on a particular commitment, or begin an endeavor.  God encourages us by reminding us at poignant moments of his call, but it is easy in the everyday rush to put it off - or even play games ourselves.

It’s true - the staircase is a metaphor for God's call.  It might be challenging, it might take some practice, but making the journey takes us someplace different and someplace better.  My son didn't know on that particular day, I was taking him to his favorite gym class once he climbed down.  And following through can bring its own blessing for us too. 

God reminds us in Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  When we choose bravery and obedience to his call, we can best experience God’s goodness.  It might be scary to obey.  We might have to fight some old procrastination tactics.  But I love that we’re still children, children of a big God who has his own surprises in store – for us.

So climb, fellow moms, climb.  See where your journeys take you.  And one final thing:  Remove any abandoned socks on the stairs.  Little boys like to leave them.  

Did this post encourage you?  Then you might also like Music Class Changed My Faith. 

I am excited to share my recent sermon on three ways we can honor God in our family today.  Gain godly direction, clarity, and the permission to slow down and capture quality time!

It was a joy to preach on Sunday about a topic so close to my heart - and this blog!  Learn more about why I created this blog and the invitation that each of us has to make a difference.

Click here to watch it.

For the first time, I now have a child who is in full day school. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I was ready to do cheers or pull out the Kleenexes - sniff, sniff. It's the start of a new chapter, and one in which I will have less control over his day...But that's okay, because when Mommy stops, prayer begins.  This prayer is for all of you fellow mamas who are entrusting your children into the arms of others this fall.  I wrote it for my son, but you can easily adapt it for your daughters too.

Dear God,

You are such a merciful Parent.  Thank you for the way you gently guide us through our day.  You are a font of infallible instruction and unending love.

Bless my baby as he is apart from me.  Form a hedge of protection around him.  If he is ever unsure or afraid, draw ever closer to him.  Whisper your promises to his heart.

Help him to walk confidently in this new chapter of self-definition with you by his side. Guide him, gentle Shepherd, into your fold and place your call upon his heart.  Assist him in its exciting discovery.

You are amazing and will always provide more than I can ever give, for you are a constant and perfect presence.  As our family transitions in this new school year, continue to shape me and us so that we can best support him and together shine your light exactly where you've placed us.

We praise you for your faithfulness.  We look forward to celebrating life's ensuing milestones with you.  Continue to strengthen our family as we seek to be faithful and bask in your love.

In Christ's name I pray,

AMEN.

If you appreciated this post, you might also enjoy The Power of a Praying Mom and The Power of a Child's Praise.

Experienced parents will tell you, if they are wise, that you learn as much as your children when you parent. My older son taught me something when he was three that has changed the way I practice my faith.

My story begins in a parent-child music class. As a three-year-old, he had taken a new and definitive interest in the cymbals. Baby versions of the cymbals make a muffled sound, but these were real ones with a diameter about the size of a kickball – complete with wooden handles for a firm, loud crash! He would wait patiently until the end of music class for free music play. The vat of instruments would come out, and he could sift through it to find his prize.

It was the start of a new semester and I was with a new group of moms. I noticed other children getting quiet instruments and lightly strumming or plucking them on their mothers’ laps. Meanwhile, my son was proudly marching around with his cymbals crashing. The sound was rather annoying and I felt like everyone was watching. I made a couple of comments to the moms around me, “They are his favorite. You can see why I don’t have them at home!” I tried to fight the fact that I was embarrassed.

That night at dinner, I asked him if he had enjoyed music class. He said, “Mommy, the cymbals are loud,” and he hung his head down. Although his social awareness wasn’t fully developed, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had come to that realization because of my actions that day. I decided right then that I did not want my embarrassment to cost him something he looked forward to.

After all, the cymbals were included in the vat to be played...

Please click here to find out the two important faith lessons I learned from this experience. Are YOU living your faith to fullest?  Many thanks to Kaitlyn Bouchillon and the (in)courage team for inviting me to guest post again!

Dear Moms,

Something new is happening on my blog's Facebook page, and I don't want you to miss it! Starting tonight, Mondays will mean something special there.

Mondays = Mindful Mondays

Start the week intentionally by reading a brief food for thought designed especially with moms in mind.

We all need wisdom as we parent and attempt to lead faithful lives for Christ.  This simple step has one purpose:  That we slow the rush, drink in insight, and live less frazzled and more focused faith-filled lives.

Be sure to "LIKE" my page if you haven't already, and look for that inspiration on Monday evenings!

Your friend and fellow mom in Christ,

Noelle

P.S.  Stay tuned on Thursday for my guest post at (in)courage!  

We tried two times and failed.  The third time, we actually got tickets!  My husband and I took our two young boys to see a matinee show of Disney's Aladdin.  It's a hot ticket, and now we understand why.  To say we enjoyed ourselves is an understatement.  (My littlest keeps taking about how much he liked "that blue guy," a.k.a. the Genie.)  So I decided to write about the 6 reasons I'd recommend seeing the show:

1.  The show is kid-friendly.  Despite the fact that it is on the longer side at two and a half hours (and I went with a three-year-old, so I know), it is engaging - even mesmerizing at times - and clean family fun.

2.  You will see the REAL Jafar (Jonathan Freeman).  You've already heard his voice if you've seen the movie, and now you get to see him in person playing the role.  Remember when he responds dryly about the princess' choice in suitors?  His line of being "ecstatic" is even better on stage.

3.  The Genie on Broadway (James Monroe Iglehart) will go down in history as one of the greats.  Sure it's tough to imagine besting Robin Williams, but it's a pleasure to see some of Williams' famous lines performed while allowing someone else to lend their own genius and unique spin to the role.  Trust me, that's done.  There was even a spoof on ABC's Dancing with the Stars, but that's all I'm gonna say...

4.  There's a magic carpet ride on stage.  Let me say that again:  There's a magic carpet ride on stage! The carpet floats, swerves, climbs, and falls to intervals of melody while two characters fall in love.  It's just plain incredible to see this special effect.  I'm not sure how it's done, but you HAVE TO see it.

5.   Aladdin (Adam Jacobs) delivers his role to perfection.  He's everything you'd expect from a leading man.  You root for him.  He makes you laugh.  He might even make you cry - like when he sings his heart-felt appeals about turning his life around and pleasing his mother in heaven.  His voice is not only memorable, but it's laced with charismatic transparency.

6.  The show is a visual feast for the eyes.  My favorite extravaganza is Aladdin's parade to the castle after the Genie makes him a prince.  There are costumes with long yellow feathers that are especially breathtaking.  But rest assured there are enough sequins, sparkles, colors and lighting effects to satisfy anyone's need to be wowed.  And Princess Jasmine (Courtney Reed) is the most beautiful leading lady I've seen on stage.

I've been blessed to live in the New York metro area for over ten years and have seen well over a dozen Broadway shows.  This one is near the top!  It's nice to find kid-friendly entertainment that packs such appeal.

*****

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment if you've seen it too!  And just in case you're wondering, please note that this review is unsolicited and is not tied with any monetary endorsement.  But you can tell the powers that be that I'd always accept free tickets for a blog giveaway LOL! 

I thought I'd start the school year with something fun!  Be sure to check my blog next week for a link to my guest post on (in)courage.

The story of Daniel in the lion's den is not just a childhood tale for Sunday school classrooms.  It's a story that applies to adults like you and me.  If we look past its intrigue and simple exhortation to trust in God, we begin to ask the right questions.  Namely, who are our lions and what do our own dens look like?  And more importantly, how does our God save?

There are times in our lives when we are simply brought to our knees.  The circumstances are too dangerous for us to live through alone - too emotionally taxing, too physically draining, too spiritually challenging.  Sometimes these circumstances are the result of unfair actions on the part of others, as was the case with Daniel, but they are always the result of living in a broken and fallen world.

We have no choice but to stand naked before God in scary vulnerability.  We want to believe that faith can move mountains, but the physical facts are undeniable and bleak.  After all, Daniel was in a den with hungry lions all night.  The only exit was protected by a huge boulder and the king's decree that it remain in place.  Hopelessness was certain.

In situations of hopelessness, we can discover the true nature of God.  The greatest gift God provided Daniel was a protective presence that never left him.  Daniel spoke of an angel who shut the lion's mouths.  There is a promise embedded in his story for us.  For what God has done once, he will do again.  God continues to shut lions' mouths today - your lions' mouths - so they will not consume you.

Deliverance looks different from person to person.  Sometimes the immediate circumstances change as a result of prayer, and sometimes they do not.  But here are four lessons I've learned:

1.  God gives us a perspective that allows us to rise above our circumstances.  Our time in the lion's den is not an isolated incident, but one incident on a journey with God.  When we look at adversity within the context of a faith relationship, we can experience the freedom of a new perspective and better recognize the footprint of our Creator's love.

2.    God will always bring deliverance when we remain faithful.  As I examine my journeys through adversity, I recognize "lifelines" that I often did not recognize as such at the time.  I marvel at God's gracious provision in retrospect.  So if you are currently in the lion's den, keep moving forward.  God is working.

3.  Sometimes deliverance is best evidenced by a change in our hearts.  The lions may prowl, our circumstances may or may not change on the outside, but make no mistake that there will be changes on the inside.  If we remain dependent on him, God will honor our humility by grafting more of himself into us.  And that new part is stronger.  Much stronger.

4.  Deliverance comes with reward.  An earthly king rewards Daniel after his survival in the lion's den. There is an earthly king in Daniel's story so that we do not forget a far more powerful king.  The King of Kings is with us and watching.  Who knows what blessings our faithfulness will unlock?

We can't forget these lessons.  Write them down.  Pass them on.  Remember God's unfailing presence, and trust.  Psalm 91:11 says, "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."  Angels still protect.  Romans 8:31 reminds us, "...If God is for us, who can be against us?"  God still fights on behalf of the faithful.  When you are shut up in the lion's den, feeling the cold and darkness of fear, remember:

"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark."  ~Nobel prize winner Rabindranath Tagore

Sing, dear friends, sing.

****

If you want to read more encouragement, I love this article on the value of our suffering entitled A Field Guide for Suffering Well, which was posted on Her.meneutics.  Also, check out my other posts entitled Truth in Suffering and Warning: Peaks Ahead.

I'm walking around the house and I see another one. There it is, resting on the sofa armrest. I can't imagine how it lays there so close to the edge without falling off. It's like one of those quick scooter turns when the angle is sharp and the wheel is skimming the outside edge, yet my toddler makes the turn, happy and oblivious.  Here, on this sofa armrest, he's left a treasure that despite all odds, is safe and sound.

I don't know where he found it.  I've discovered the smaller the treasure, the more unlikely the place he'll find it.  But he knows a treasure when he sees one, and there it lies. It's a Lego micro that looks like a dozen other pieces to me, but to him it's special.

Rachel Balducci has written about the unique collection of oddities little boys are keen on collecting. They turn up in funny places. I find them stealthfully hidden under or resting upon sofa cushions, or proudly displayed like trophies on bedroom tables.  Rachel finds them in play clothes' pockets that she combs through before doing the wash.

What strikes me about these objects of affection is how my sons find their inspiration in such unusual places. Again, to me it looks like just another other Lego micro, for instance, but to them it's distinguishable and special. I quickly find out just how special it is when I try to return it to the toy bin, or when a brother wants to "share" it by taking it away!

I am willing to bet you haven't coveted a Lego micro lately. Regardless, as adults, we have our own treasured objects too. Sometimes these objects have apparent value to others. But sometimes these objects are very ordinary and hold a special value only to us.

I want to collect more of the latter. Particularly, I'm looking for everyday objects that remind me of God's grace.  I'm learning I need to intentionally open myself to grace to avoid feeling empty and burdened.  And one of the ways I can open myself is to search for grace-filled reminders in physical form.

The monotony of daily rhythms can distract us from the holy punctuations in our lives.  When we experience holy punctuations, we need to take hold of them. Maybe we read a powerful scripture verse one morning - why not write it down and tape it to our mirror? It's a simple piece of paper, but it reminds us of a genuine moment of inspiration with God.

Maybe you know a place that's special - God spoke to you there and answered a prayer. Take a reminder of that place and carry it with you. A rock from the ground. A card from the business. Use it to remember God's awesome grace at work in your life for the day you'll need to remember. I'm wearing a necklace from such a place right now.

In the flurry of motherhood, it's easy to try to do everything in our own strength. This only contributes to our weariness.  In our busyness preparing for tomorrow, we can miss the grace-filled moments God designed for us today.  Don't let that be us, Lord. We're hungry for you, no matter how much our schedules distract us.  Help us to humbly remember your grace and become unabashed collectors - for you.

If you liked this post, check out this one about the importance of slowing down called A Peaceful Pause.