I Need a Friend - conclusion
Ruth 1:16-18 “But Ruth replied, "
Friend to Friend
Key one: Time
Key two: Risk
Key three: Transparency
Key four: Touch
Key five: Correction
Friendship is the catalyst for every other love and the foundation of every healthy relationship. God created us to need each other. We need friends and we need to be a friend – even as women in ministry. Over the past few weeks, we have examined the friendship between Naomi and Ruth, a relationship that illustrates vital keys to a healthy relationship between friends. One of those keys is loyalty. Ruth was loyal to Naomi. God honored that loyalty and used it to attract her future husband, Boaz. “Boaz replied, "I've been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband--how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.” (Ruth 2:11) Boaz was struck by the loyalty of Ruth, realizing that she was the kind of woman he wanted to marry. True friends are loyal and committed to each other. Here are some ways to build loyalty into friendship.
· Don’t criticize friends to other people.
· Cheer at the successes of your friends.
· Encourage the strengths of your friends.
· Never use a friend’s weaknesses to your advantage.
· Overlook “cracks” in the armor and “tilted” halos of friends.
Protect the heart of your friend by guarding your friendship with loyalty.
Key five: Action
Ruth demonstrated her love for Naomi by her actions. She went with her to
1. Rituals Rituals or traditions are one of most important ingredients in a healthy friendship. It may be a weekly lunch date, annual shopping trip or dinner and a movie once a month. The best friendships are rich with memories accumulated over time.
2. Gifts A gift is a symbol of time and energy spent for a friend. It is not the cost or size of the gift, but the thought behind it that says, “She thought of me.” It is a tangible reminder of relationship.
Notes, funny cards, a favorite snack or magazine, phone calls for no reason, favors done back and forth are all tiny statements of love. When my husband was in the hospital, one friend bought groceries, picked up my kids from school and delivered my cleaning. I didn’t ask for help, but she knew I needed help. When you sense a need, just do it, because sometimes, hurting friends can’t ask for help.
3. Words The words of a friend are filled with acceptance and approval. In friendships, we need to be cautious with criticism and liberal with praise. Paul writes, “So encourage each other to build each other up”. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) People become what we encourage them to be. A true friend trains his heart and mind to pass over faults in search of strong points. Choose to draw the strong qualities of friends into the spotlight and be their cheerleader. Friends look for reasons to praise God in each other.
4. Listening By definition, listening means “attention, with the intention to understand”. James says we should be “quick to listen and slow to speak”. (James 1:19) Talking is sharing but listening is caring. Take a tip from creation. Ears aren’t made to shut but the mouth is. Put away your sermon, save your advice and just listen. Sometimes the best gift a friend can offer is a listening ear.
The words of Jesus found in John 13:34-35, portray the perfect backdrop for God’s love. "And so I am giving a new commandment to you now--love each other just as much as I love you. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples." Does the world know we are His disciples by the way we love and relate to each other?
Father, I know that You are pleased when I take action on Your truth. I want to obey You in every area of life. I pray that my friendships reflect Your love, encourage others and please You. Amen.
Now it's Your Turn
For more on today’s topic, see Sandpaper People, a CD by Mary Southerland.
Girlfriends in God, Inc.