That shame and judgment you're carrying? It's not from Him.
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." John 9:3 (NIV)
It's one of the most debated questions in Christian mental health circles: Is anxiety a sin? Followed suit by its competitor: Is depression a lack of faith? But for many of us, these questions are often ignored or overlooked altogether. We know that many theories and opinions exist on this issue, but instead of addressing them, we avoid the matter.
The Questions We're Afraid to Ask
For years, I, too, wrestled with these questions. Many well-meaning individuals told me my problems were "all in my head," and even my family struggled with how to support me. They'd been raised to believe that medication was okay, but therapy was only for really mentally crazy people. And while they supported me, I couldn't help but feel judged and marginalized.
Today, I've been in therapy for over six years. It's not only radically changed my life, but it's also strengthened my faith in God. I've learned coping skills to help manage my anxiety and depression and identified the truth about what God's Word actually says about mental health struggles. I've even recently gotten on a low-dose SNRI to help me better manage my symptoms. I hope all of that is encouraging to you.
While I could write dozens of posts on my experience with anxiety and depression as a Christian, I wanted to start with what Jesus says about similar conditions. This brings us to the story in John 9.
A New Lens: John 9 and the Man Born Blind
It's a well-known case, but a man was born blind. He had a physical defect that greatly impacted his everyday life. Today, I don't think many of us would believe this defect was due to his sins or his parents', and yet, we often think that about mental health issues. But for this culture, to be born blind meant you'd done something wrong. Even the disciples struggled to understand this case.
John 9:1-3 reads this way: "As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him" (NIV).
What if we approached mental health struggles today in a new light? What if we accept that they are present so the works of God might be displayed in each of us?
As someone who personally struggles with pretty severe anxiety and depression, I don't want this to come across as quickly turning the other cheek or adopting some prosperity gospel feeling. No, your pain and suffering do matter, and they deserve to be acknowledged and processed accordingly. I'm not telling you to ignore your pain and simply think rainbows, sunshine, and happiness.
Paul’s Thorn: A Theology of Weakness
But what I am saying is this: Jesus cares about your mental health, and He isn't ashamed of you. That shame and judgment you're carrying? It's not from Him. This burden you're bearing? It sucks. The Apostle Paul knew this well from his own thorn in the flesh. But, what if amidst these struggles, the works of God might be better magnified through and within us? Not because of anything we've done, but because of His power working through our weakness. It's a challenging paradigm shift to believe.
The encouragement of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 doesn't just challenge us with this mindset, but it reminds us that while our pain matters and that God can and will get the glory for this. And if someone sees Jesus in us because of it, isn't it worth going through the pain?
"Even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT)
Enduring suffering and mental hardships isn't easy or fun. I don't know a single person who would choose to endure pain for the sake of God's glory. And yet, that's exactly what Jesus Christ did for us when He died on the cross for our sins. It's something I wrestle with every time anxiety creeps in, depression shoves me down, or Endometriosis cripples me. I know that this pain isn't from God, and He doesn't want me to suffer. He cares about you and me.
If we could take to heart Jesus' words to the man born blind or even the Apostle Paul, how radically different would we live?
Two Stories, Two Endings: Same God
These two stories have very different endings. While the Apostle Paul must continue to bear and carry his cross, suffering from a thorn in the flesh, the man born blind is healed. Jesus uses mud and spit, rubs it on his eyes, and then tells him to wash in Siloam. I've often wondered if the man thought, Why can't you just heal me here and now?
Nevertheless, the man takes a step of faith, washes in Siloam, and comes back seeing. There's no question that Jesus did this miraculous healing. He's known for miracles in all shapes and sizes. But while He does His part, He also asks us to do ours.
For some, our stories are like Paul's. We have a thorn that we will continue to wrestle with on this side of heaven. I don't know why or how long it will last. I still ask God lots of questions when it comes to suffering. But this I know: He is God and I am not. He is God, and I trust Him. He is God, and He is with me when I suffer and when I don't. And yet, many will come to Jesus because of our steadfast faith and character. Because of the strength displayed when we're weak. A strength that can only come from our Creator and King.
For others, our stories are like the man born blind. This has never really been my story, but for many, I know it has. We encounter Jesus radically, and despite others' claims about our condition, we've been healed this side of heaven. We don't exactly understand how, but we know it came from Christ alone. We were given spit and mud, but we also took action to wash in Siloam and came back seeing. Many question our healing, but all we can say is a replica of one who was blind, but now sees:
"The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing." John 9:30-33 (NIV)
Even in the face of accusation, this man stands firm in what he knows to be true: Jesus healed him how He saw fit, and his life has been forever changed. Not only that, but the man wants to share the Good News of the gospel, and because of that, he's been thrown out of the Temple (vs.34). Later, Jesus finds him and gives him eternal life.
Healed or Hurting—You Matter to God
Today, no matter what your story looks like, I want you to know that you and your suffering matter to God. Suffering, especially from mental and physical calamities, doesn't mean you've sinned or done something wrong. It can often mean that you're doing something right.
I won't pretend to know your struggles, and I will never dismiss the anguish you may experience every single day. But as one friend to another, I want you to know that you're not alone. God sees you. He loves you. He doesn't think ill of you. And you have no reason to be ashamed.
God can work through our weakest links, whether we're healed this side of heaven or not. And healed or hurting, you matter to God.
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Lazy_Bear
