Do you feel the need to pray more earnestly for your marriage but not sure where to start? We often don’t pray as if we believe God will show up and do something big, but prayer works, and God longs for you to be in prayer with Him. He especially desires you pray about your marriage and the one person with whom you have committed to spend your life!
Here’s how the challenge works. Every day for the next 30 days you will pray in a specific way for you and your spouse. Invite your spouse to join you in this challenge, but even if he or she doesn’t, feel free to pray on your own! Some days there will also be an opportunity for you to read a related article, or watch a short video. Other days you’ll be encouraged to journal or write down your thoughts about a particular marriage related prompt. Every day will also have at least one verse for you to study and pray over your husband or wife.
You can start this prayer challenge any day of the month, but it might be easier to start at the beginning of the month, just to keep track of the days. It’s okay if you miss a day or two- life happens! If you do miss a day, you don’t need to go back and or start over. Just pick up with the corresponding day and, if you have time, you can go back to the days you’ve missed.
Ready to spend the next month praying for your marriage? Ready to see your marriage transformed? Let’s get started!
Day 1 Pray that your spouse would put his or her relationship with God above all other relationships, including yours. Pray your spouse would have a burning desire to know the Lord more closely and surrender all of his or her life to him. Pray for your relationship with God – that you would not hold your spouse to expectations that only God can fill.
Luke 10:27; Psa 84:12; Psa 105:4
Day 2 Pray for spiritual growth in your marriage. Pray that your spouse would be deeply rooted in the Word, that he or she would bear much fruit for the kingdom of God. Pray your spouse would grow into a leader in your church, family and community, and lead others to a stronger relationship with Christ by his or her example. Pray for your own spiritual walk, that you would be rooted in Christ, strengthened in faith and overflowing with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:6-7; John 15:8
Day 3 Pray for devotion to spiritual disciplines. Pray for consistent study of Scripture, memorization of the Word, and other spiritual disciplines like prayer, tithing, fasting, etc. Pray that you and your spouse would not be discouraged in the pursuit of God but would run the race of faith with endurance all your lives.
Read: A Sure Foundation: Building Your Relationship on Spiritual Disciplines by Dennis Rainey
Day 4 Pray that God would bless the work of your hands, that you would enjoy your work and see God glorified in the many facets of your jobs, callings and pursuits. Pray against making an idol or identity out of work. When you work or your spouse’s work is toilsome, pray for endurance and perspective.
Psa 90:17; Colossians 3:23
Read: Why Your Work Matters… and Why It Doesn’t by Kelly Givens
Day 5 Pray God would grow your fellowship with other believers. Pray that God would bring godly community into your lives, men and women who will lead you both closer to God and not away from him. Pray for selflessness on your part as your spouse spends time with friends, even if that means sometimes sacrificing time with you.
Write: Who are your 3 closest friends? Your spouse’s closest friends? Write their names on an index card and commit to regularly praying for them, that they would grow closer to God and, in turn, draw you both closer to God.
Day 6 Pray for humility. Pray that you would humbly admit when your desires have turned into expectations that you are unfairly holding over your spouse. Repent of these unrealistic expectations and pray that God would give you a heart that is less centered on self and more focused on serving God and your spouse. Pray for your spouse to also let go of self-centered thinking.
Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; Colossians 3:18-19
Day 7 Pray for your role together as parents, that there would be unity in dealing with difficult choices and situations. Pray that where you have differing opinions, God would help you reach consensus. If you do not have children, pray for your influence in the lives of younger men and women in your church and community.
Read: 7 Ways to Pray When Your Child Goes Astray – Cindi McMenamin
Day 8 Pray for romance. Pray that your spouse would know the ways you receive love and actively seek to show you love in those ways. Pray you could do the same for your spouse. Pray that you would not lean on your spouse to fill a place in your heart that only God can fill.
Write: How does your spouse best receive love? Here are the 5 “languages” of love that we each speak. Which does your spouse appreciate most? Make a plan to show him or her love today in their love language.
Watch: “Go from ‘Me’ to ‘We’ in Your Marriage”
Day 9 Pray for your Christian witness as a couple. Pray you would be bold in evangelizing, that together you would have courage to talk to neighbors, community members and coworkers about your faith. Pray that your family would be a reflection of the gospel, that your interactions with others would be grace-filled and loving.
1 Peter 3:15; Matthew 5:16
Day 10 Pray for your weaknesses. Ask the Lord to give you both clarity to see where you need to rely more on Him. Pray your spouse would not be ashamed of his or her weaknesses but see them as an opportunity to grow closer to God. Pray that God would give you wisdom to be able to call out weaknesses with humility, grace, and truth, and to have your own weaknesses illuminated without defensiveness.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Isaiah 40:29-31
Day 11 Pray for your strengths. Pray you both would not be prideful about areas of strength, but that you would bless others by stewarding your gifts and talents faithfully. If your husband or wife doesn’t know what their strengths are, pray they would gain clarity and seek to encourage them in those strengths.
Write: Write down 3 strengths you believe God has given your spouse. Pray specifically for ways to encourage him or her to use those strengths for God’s glory.
Day 12 Pray that you could be quick to forgive hurts. Pray that you would let go of bitterness quickly. Pray for your spouse to understand the ways he or she has hurt you in the past, perhaps repeatedly. Pray your spouse would repent of his or her actions and learn from his or her mistakes. Pray for God’s love to fill your heart and give you the grace you need to move forward in a positive direction.
Read: 3 Ways to Bless Those Who Hurt You by Candace Crabtree
Day 13 Pray that your spouse would be quick to forgive you. Pray he or she would let go of bitterness quickly. Pray you would understand how you have hurt him or her in the past, perhaps again and again. Pray a repentant prayer to God over areas you have hurt your spouse. Ask for your spouse’s forgiveness.
Acts 3:19; 1 John 1:9
Day 14 Pray for any areas of disagreement you’re facing. Petition God to give you unity and clarity to move forward. Pray you can handle conversations about things you disagree on without petty bickering. Pray a prayer of repentance for any sinful responses you’ve had toward your spouse, and then go to your spouse and ask for forgiveness.
Read: When the Typical Christian Marriage Advice Just Doesn’t Work by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Day 15 Pray for any big decisions you have coming up. Whether it’s a prospective new job, moving, parenting choices or caretaking responsibilities—any decisions you have in the future, lay them at God’s feet. Ask God to reveal any red flags or reasons you shouldn’t move forward. Pray for peace about your decision together as a couple.
Read: A Prayer to Know God’s Will for Your Life by Rachel-Claire Cockrell
Day 16 Pray for those in leadership in your life. Pray for your spouse’s bosses, his or her mentors and Bible study leaders. Pray for the people your spouse looks up to and admires. Pray these leaders would consistently show your spouse the gospel. If any of these people do not reflect Christ’s love, pray that your spouse would not be tempted to imitate them and would find other godly people to look up to instead. Pray all these things for the leaders in your life as well.
Proverbs 18:24; Proverbs 12:26
Day 17 Pray for any upcoming medical appointments. Pray for any chronic issues—that God would grant healing or continued endurance for the health issues you or your spouse face. Pray your spouse would let go of any habits that make his or her health worse. Pray for your doctors – that they would have wisdom and kindness toward you both during appointments.
Philippians 4:19; Psa 107:19-21; Psa 103:2-4
Day 18 Pray for the emotional health of your marriage. Pray you can both acknowledge feelings- both good and bad. If there is any emotional pain in your spouse’s life, pray God would bind up those wounds and that your spouse would find the help he or she needs to work through them. Pray for sensitivity to your spouse’s feelings and guidance for talking to him or her about emotional issues.
Philippians 4:6-7; Psa 147:3
Read: 4 Marks of a Healthy Marriage by Scott Slayton
Day 19 Pray for any temptations to sin or persistent sin issues either of you currently face. Pray for sin to be seen with clarity. Confess your own insufficient means to do battle against the enemy and pray for God to bring about real, lasting change in your hearts. Pray you would both love obeying Jesus more than whatever is tempting you.
Mark 14:38; James 1:13-18; 1 Corinthians 10:13
Read: 5 Lies Satan Wants You to Believe and Scripture to Combat Them by Brooke Cooney
Day 20 Pray for both of your roles in your church. Pray to serve faithfully and humbly, pray for ministry opportunities that meet real needs in your church body and also allow you both to use your gifts and talents. Pray for the relationships you have with the people you do ministry with and for - that any disagreements or misunderstandings would be handled with grace and kindness.
1 Samuel 12:24; Romans 12:11; James 4:1-7
Day 21 Pray for patience. Pray for God to give you both fresh eyes toward the things that often drive you crazy or frustrate you about one another. Pray for gratitude for all the wonderful qualities in your spouse- and that God would help you focus on those things moving forward. Also, pray for patience toward yourself- that you wouldn’t be too hard on yourself but see yourself rightly in light of who God is. If there is something you are both waiting or longing for, pray that God would bring good fruit from your patient waiting.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5; Proverbs 14:29, Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:12
Day 22 Pray for money management. Pray God would give you both wisdom for how to handle financial responsibilities. Pray for thoughtfulness as you work together to create a budget, pay off bills, and spend for needs. Pray you would be aligned on tithing and stewarding your money for God’s Kingdom. Pray for any areas where you disagree about spending or saving money, that God would give you clarity and agreement.
Read: How to Manage Your Money with the Bible in Mind by Brittany Rust
Day 23 Pray for cultivating passions – for the things God has created in you both to love and enjoy. Pray for a vision for how you can both help the other pursue the things you love in such a way that God is glorified. Help your spouse see how his or her passions are a gift from God.
Write: Think of 3 things your spouse comes alive while doing. Whatever it is, challenge yourself to find a way this week to show him or her that those things matter to you too.
Day 24 Pray for fidelity. Pray you would both know and feel the seriousness of your wedding vows. Pray you both would not entertain lustful thoughts but take all thoughts captive for Christ. Ask God to establish a relationship of mutual trust and honesty between you both.
2 Corinthians 10:5; Proverbs 20:6-7
Day 25 Pray for your dreams. The ones you’ve never shared, the ones that you and your spouse talk about together. Surrender those dreams to God. Ask God to give you clarity and peace about your dreams. Ask God for patience as you wait for your dreams, and peace for the dreams that must change or be set aside for awhile.
Proverbs 16:3; Psa 20:4; Proverbs 16:9
Read: What Happened the Day I Said Goodbye to My Dream Home by Renee Davis
Day 26 Pray for any idols in your lives – in your work, hobbies, free-time activities. Ask God to convict you both of any idolatry. Often, idolatry is at the root of our greed, jealousy, anger, and so on. Ask for God to illuminate areas of your lives where you are putting anything (even your marriage!) as a greater priority than knowing and loving God. Pray God would reorient your hearts to seek Him above all things. Ask God for wisdom in how to help your spouse overcome the idols in his or her life.
Psa 115:4-8; Colossians 3:5; Mark 8:36
Day 27 Pray for the relationships with both of your families. Where there is any unresolved conflict, ask God to step in and soften hearts. Where there is any unhealthy dependence or distance, ask the Lord to help create healthy, appropriate boundaries. If there is a history of abuse or any unsettled pain or trauma, ask God for grace and wisdom for getting your spouse the support he or she needs.
Genesis 2:22-24; Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 11:29
Day 28 Pray for your sex life. Pray you could both lovingly pursue one another in an intimate way. If sex is a struggle, ask God to give you both humble, gracious patience with and for each other. Ask God for courage to talk about any uncomfortable, shame-filled or painful thoughts and experiences that keep you from being fully intimate with your husband or wife.
Proverbs 5:18-19; 1 Corinthians 7:1-6
Day 29 Pray God would strengthen your marriage for the years ahead. Pray he would grow you closer through any trials you face. Pray that the fruit of the Spirit would prevail during hardships. Take some time to pray for each element of the fruit of the Spirit-- peace, love, joy, faithfulness, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control—pray for abundance in these areas, and for the Lord to strengthen you both in areas of weakness.
Write: What are some of the hopes and dreams you have for your future with your spouse and (if you have any) children? Where do you see God at work in your lives? Has this month of prayer revealed in particular areas you feel the Spirit leading you to continue praying for? If so, write down a pledge of commitment to pray for another month about those particular things.
Read: Setting Goals for a Good Year of Marriage by Pam and Bill Farrel
Day 30 Pray that you could partner with your spouse to faithfully spread the gospel. Take a moment to thank God for your marriage. Recall and give thanks for the blessings God has given you both. Recall and praise Him for any trials God has faithfully seen you both through. Ask God to help you both see how you might share the gospel with your children, your neighbors, you coworkers, your community, and the greater world. Ask for hearts that long to share the good news of Christ’s death for our sins and the resurrection hope you now have.
Congratulations—you just spent an entire month faithfully praying for your marriage! We would love to hear from you—how has this prayer challenge changed you, your spouse, and your marriage? Leave a comment and let us know how prayer has transformed your marriage!