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Why do we compare ourselves to other people? Have you ever thought about why you are tempted to compare your relationships, your income, status, even kids to others? I believe it is inherent in human nature to want what we do not have. We grow bored with the familiar so we look at the other person’s life, and it just seems more glamorous.
Sometimes, on the outside, our comparison does seem justified, after all, they have a bigger income, live in the better part of town and have access to the things we don’t. Isn’t it indicative of our desire to advance in life and be better than we are?
The truth is nothing is a good enough excuse to wish we were someone else or had what they have for the simple fact that we don’t. No amount of wishing can make that happen. Worse still, we literally put our own growth on hold when we do that.
So how can you avoid this dangerous comparison game? Here are three things you can do.
I sincerely believe that the moment we truly know ourselves, we lose the desire to want to be anyone else. When we see ourselves in the light of God’s abundant love for us we are released to see and love the true potential in our own selves. If you knew that you were loved unconditionally, that your needs were taken care of; that you could do anything you set your mind to according to the will of God for your life; that you have so much joy and laughter to share with the world and you truly lived like it, you will be too busy doing great things to be bothered about the neighbors’ flashy things. All these are absolutely true, so go live like it.
Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
These are not empty promises; God has a customized plan for you. Yes, you. However, they will not be realized while you are trying to follow another person’s path or wishing you were someone else. You have to accept it, press into God and let Him speak His plans into your life.
This process will require some dedication and diligence on your part. Take time away from the busyness and noise of daily life to seek God on your knees; then you can face the world, being who you really are with no apologies.
Let’s face it; you will be tempted to compare your season to another’s. It might even be a constant struggle, but there’s fresh grace available to you every day. One way to counter the enemy’s strategies is to be genuinely happy when others do well or get the things that you want. Give them a call and congratulate them on the promotion, the new house, the marriage, whatever. This is not some mind game; it is the very thing you would want your friends to do when good things happen to you.
During your prayer time thank God for His blessings on others around you, be sincere. It is hard to stay covetous or compare yourself to others when you take the time to thank God for His goodness to them. While you’re at it, don’t forget to thank Him for your own life too.
It’s easy for us to become ungrateful when we look at all the things we do not have. I am personally in a season that has stretched me beyond measure and even though I have been tempted to compare my life to what others, by God’s grace I have been victorious in those battles.
I thank God, every day for His mercies. My family and I are in good health; we have a roof over our heads and food to eat. Much more than that we have the joy of the Lord in our hearts and hope for the future. God is good!
See His blessings in your life for what they are, and you’ll never wish you were anyone else.
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Remi Roy lives, writes and enjoys being in Dallas, Texas. Originally from Nigeria, she is passionate about her purpose which is following God every step of the way no matter the details. She is a contented wife, content developer, author of two books Ms. Unlikely and From the Sidelines and founder at Selahville. When she’s not working with clients, she spends time working on her next book and trying hard to be a morning person. You can find her at remiroyonline.com. Or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.