I’ve not always felt like a great mom. There are times I have felt overwhelmed by the pressure and inadequate for the job. For me, that started right away. My mom came to spend the first week with me. My new baby never slept, struggled to nurse, and was completely overwhelming to me even though I absolutely adored him. My mom was a lifesaver that first week. She let me nap and rest. She helped cook and clean. She ran errands. She assured me that I would be ok.
When the week came to an end I can vividly remember the super strong way I stepped up plate. It was a proud moment for me. My mom loaded up into her car and as she pulled out of our very steep and long driveway, I handed the baby off to my husband and chased her, crying and waving for her to please not leave me alone. I felt totally inadequate for the monumental task of being a mom. What if I didn’t do it right? What if I couldn’t be the perfect mom? How could I handle all of the pressure? Have you ever asked yourself those questions? If we let it, those feelings of inadequacy and the weight of all of the pressures can be totally overwhelming. They can keep us from being the mom God has called us to be.
Two Reasons We Feel Inadequate and Weighted Down By Pressure -
First, Moms ARE under a lot of pressure! I think part of the reason I struggled might be the same reason that some of you might struggle. The pressures on mamas today feels INSANE! We feel lots of pressure as mamas to be perfect. We feel pressured to do it all, be everything to everyone, and have it all together.
Second, we are looking around and grade ourselves against impossible standards. We feel inadequate because we believe we have to measure up. That is a lie and we’ve bought it hook, line, and sinker. We’ve looked around on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, at the moms on TV, at our friends and our family, at people in our church or in our community and we’ve compared ourselves to what we see. We think they look perfect because we are only seeing the best of them. I’m sure you’ve heard this said before, but we often compare our every day to everyone else’s highlight reel and then we feel inadequate. We have started to believe lies about our role as moms and we have felt like we are not measuring up. We feel totally overwhelmed by the weight of too much pressure.
The Lies We’ve Believed and the Truths We Can Speak Against Them -
I don’t think God wants us to feel inadequate as moms. We’ve believed lies about our role as moms for too long. I believe the best ways to counter act lies is to speak truth against them. Let’s take a look at some of the lies that we’ve believed and some truths we can hold on to instead.
Lie #1: The best way to know my role as a mom is to look around.
Truth: The best way to know our roles as a mom is to look up.
Scripture Reference: Proverbs 2:6
Lie #2: I have to figure this out on my own.
Truth: You don’t ever have to figure out your role as a mom on your own.
Scripture Reference: 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Lie #3: If I’m doing this right, it will be easy.
Truth: Being a mom is a hard and holy work. It isn’t always easy.
Scripture Reference: Proverbs 3:5-6
Lie #4: Everyone else knows what they are doing.
Truth: Everyone is learning as they go and no one has it all figured out.
Scripture Reference: Titus 2:4-5
Lie #5: Nothing less than perfection will do.
Truth: There was only one perfect person to ever walk this Earth and it wasn’t me or you
Scripture Reference: 2 Corinthians 12:9
Lie #6: I have to meet other’s expectations.
Truth: We aren’t called to measure up the standards of this world
Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:14-16
Lie #7: My family should look/act/function a certain way.
Truth: Every family looks different
Scripture Reference: Psalm 139:14
Lie #8: I have to be in control of everything.
Truth: You don’t have to be in control, you just need to trust the one who is.
Scripture Reference: Psalm 28:7
Lie #9: I’m only a good mom if I do ALL THE THINGS.
Truth: Being a good mom means focusing our energy and our attention on the things that matter most.
Scripture Reference: Mark 12:30
Lie #10 Being a good mom means no one ever messes up, especially not you.
Truth: Being a good mom means giving grace to ourselves and to our families.
Scripture Reference: John 13:34-35
I’d also like to give you some practical ways to walk in the truth and some scripture references that you can tie each truth to. Since this is an article and not a book, I’m including those Practical Ways to Walk In Truth and the complete NIV Scripture References on my website for you to read and print.
You can access that here: http://bobbieschae.com/guest-posts/10-lies-moms-believe/
This list of lies that we believe and truths that we can speak against the lies isn’t comprehensive. It’s a list of ones that I believe we needed to hear the most. My prayer, today, is that God used this message to remove some of the feelings of inadequacy that you might have been dealing with. I also pray that the weight of some of that pressure that you’ve been under has lightened today. In Matthew 11:28-30 NIV, Jesus says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Bobbie Schaeperkoetter is married to her high school sweet heart and is a homeschooling mama of two handsome fellas. She loves Jesus with her whole heart and is just doing her best to honor him in the craziness of life. She would love to be a friend and encourage you in your Christian walk as you do the same.
You can read more of Bobbie’s writing at www.bobbieschae.com