Can our prayers change the course of events in our lives?
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"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." - Luke 5:16
We have not only heard it, but we have all said it. We pray for healing for ourselves or someone else, and when the healing occurs, we give thanks to God. “Praise God.” “Thank you, Lord.” “God is good.” While all of those exclamations are, of course, absolutely true, are they any less true if it doesn’t go our way? If we pray for healing for family, yet lose them to death, does that mean that God didn’t hear us? Or that we prayed the wrong way?
We hear from acquaintances, friends, and family of trials they are enduring and routinely respond, “I’ll pray for you.” Yet, so often, we fail to do so. Or when we do, we’re not entirely sure what to pray for, exactly.
Anti-theists on social media seem to take pleasure in mocking our Christian faith and our confidence in prayer. Of course, their lack of faith in God automatically leads to an insulting, mimicking attitude – yet they also see some of what seems like craziness in the public eye. Prayer for sports teams to win, for example. I once knew of someone who loved to ski and had a personalized license plate that said, “Pray 4 snow.” (that was me, by the way.)
This begs the question; can our prayers change the course of events in our lives? Is an unanswered prayer any less powerful than one that seems to have been answered as we ask? How do we even know God is listening to us? And how are we supposed to pray when we can’t seem to find the words or don’t even know exactly what we ought to be praying for?
What is the real purpose of prayer?
What Does Prayer Accomplish
I recently had a conversation with a younger man who said that he didn’t really know how to pray – or why. He said that he prayed sometimes – usually when he needed something or had a problem to solve. How many of us turn to prayer in that way? We pray to the Lord only when we need something. But as I said to the young man, if that is how you see prayer, then you’re looking at it in entirely the wrong light.
Of courseJesus gave what we call “The Lord’s Prayer” to his disciples when they asked. Just prior to doing so, Jesus said this:
"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." - Matthew 6:5-8
These words contain many important lessons about prayer. The pagans of the time repeated the same words over and over, giving no thought to the process. This would have been known by those listening to him, and Jesus warned that it was not about the words we use – but the posture of our hearts. Jesus told us that the Lord knows exactly what we need before we ever have a clue of what to ask. It isn’t mindless repetition, it’s the heartfelt meaning and intent behind the words. Jesus was not condemning public prayer – he himself prayed in public – but he was pointing out our internal motivation. In other words, who were we trying to impress?
Public prayer certainly has a great deal of value – but it cannot replace prayer entirely on our own, in our own space, which allows us to focus all our attention exclusively on the Father.
It is also in this context that the writer of the book of Hebrews describes what prayer is and our motivation behind it:
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." - Hebrews 4:16
That bears repeating, doesn’t it? “…so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Thanks to Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection, and the forgiveness of our sins, Christians have the unique privilege of attaining a personal relationship with God. We can draw near to the throne of grace with confidence. We can come before our Creator and speak from our hearts – plainly and boldly and honestly, without fear.
Now how cool is that?
Prayer is the tool our loving, heavenly Father has chosen for us to communicate with him. He listens to us when we pray – always. Daily prayer blesses us, strengthens us, and brings greater peace into our lives than we could ever imagine. And prayer opens our hearts for His Spirit to lead us and guide us.
Unanswered Prayer
This does not mean the answer will always be yes. In fact, if we are putting our lives into his hands, it means often the answer will be no – or silence. Or, the answer will come in God’s timing, which may not meet our expectations.
If you’re a parent, you understand this. How often have your kids come to you with requests or desires that you simply know are not the best for them? Will you say yes just because? Or will you sometimes – often – say no for their own protection? Or for their own benefit? Or because you have other plans that you know are better for them?
God does the same with us. His objective is our protection and benefit, or the benefit of others.
It may be difficult at times to understand why our loved ones are taken from us, despite our fervent prayers. And it is perfectly natural to grieve. Even to express our frustrations or distress to God. Yet, if we truly have faith in him, we will at least trust that whatever has happened – whatever the answer to our prayers may be, his way is for the best. We can trust that he knows better than we do – just as you often know better for your own children.
The Book of Job, thought to be the oldest written book of the Bible, offers an excellent example for us. Job was a man whose life was perfect. But in one day – one fell swoop – it was all taken from him. He lost everything – all of his children, all of his wealth, all of his respect in his community. Then, another day his health was attacked. He was a sitting rubble of a man and was left questioning God, as we have all found ourselves doing at times. His wife told him to “curse God and die.” (v 2:9). His “friends” spent some 38 chapters telling Job it was his own fault. Yet, Job recognized that all things that come from God can be taken away. (Job 1:21) Ultimately, Job remained faithful to God through it all.
There is a great deal we can learn from Job.
How Do We Pray?
When his disciples said to Jesus, "Teach us to pray," as most know, Jesus responded with the Lord's Prayer. Universally known, the Lord's Prayer is a foundational prayer for Christians everywhere. It serves as a basis, an excellent illustration perhaps, for how we turn to God.
We can also follow the example of Jesus and turn to the book of Psalms. There, we find a great many examples from David, as he often expressed his frustrations, questions, anger, disappointments, and fear. Real human emotions. Yet each prayer ended with the worship of God. Each time, he found his way back to his hope, his trust in the Lord.
Perhaps find a few of your favorite Psalm verses and jot them on a few index cards. Then turn to them – read, reread, and then read again as your heart leads.
What prayer is not is a heavenly ATM machine or genie in a bottle. Prayer will not change a flat tire for you. Nor will it win you the lottery or get you a new car – despite what the prosperity gospel crew might want to teach.
I recently saw this posted on social media. I have no idea where it came from or who wrote it, but seems quite appropriate. It is called the “I don’t know” prayer –
I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what is happening. I don’t know how to process this. I don’t know what to do with these emotions. I don’t know how to handle this situation.
But you know.
He knows.
When Should We Pray?
It would seem we could learn a great deal as well from noticing the times Jesus prayed. It is sometimes easy to overlook the importance of prayer to Jesus, but there are some special moments mentioned or documented in scripture. But we so take for granted that Jesus prayed, it seems we often miss when in particular he prayed.
Jesus prayed when he was baptized (Luke 3:21.) He prayed during difficult times, such as during the 40 days and nights in the desert (Matthew 4; Mark 1; Luke 4.) He prayed when he needed to turn to God for wisdom and guidance – like when he chose the 12 closest disciples:
One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray and spent the night praying to God. (Luke 6:12)
Jesus prayed with Peter, John, and James at the Transfiguration.
About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John, and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. (Luke 9:28)
He prayed in his most trying times – in the Garden of Gethsemane as he prayed for the cup to be lifted, and then he prayed on the cross, crying out in desperation and feeling abandoned by the Father.
We learn from Jesus that the moments and opportunities for prayer are always present – wherever we go or whatever we may be doing. But we should also take note – Jesus prayed often:
“…Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” - Luke 5:16
The Son of God, the visible image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:15) found it important to often withdraw by himself and connect with the Father. There is a lesson for all of us to learn in that.
Paul put it this way in his letter to the church in Thessalonica:
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
Rejoice always and pray without ceasing. Giving thanks in all circumstances. Not for all – but in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves, we are to give thanks to the Father for his love, his mercy, his grace, and provision. For those things, we ought to always give thanks.
"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." -Psalm 105:4
No prayer is too small for God. Kneel, sit, or stand – humble your heart before him and trust he hears you; he loves you, and he cares for you.
Seek his face – always.
Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Ismael Paramo
This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit
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