As the weather turns colder and the last of the fall leaves flutter to the ground, you can almost smell the turkey roasting in the oven and the faint echo of Christmas carols just around the corner. As winter approaches, the holidays that come with it – Thanksgiving and Christmas – seem to transform everything from decorations to seasonal beverages to the songs on the radio. However, to most families, despite the chaotic buzz of commercialization, these holidays are much more critical than mere sales and seasonal products.
Across America, families look forward to the winter holiday season of Thanksgiving and Christmas as a valuable time to share in family memories, reconnect with loved ones, and celebrate the gifts and blessings God has given to their lives. And yet, more often than not, these valued family gatherings are rife with stress, drama, and tension as relatives from all walks of life clash with one another over dining room tables and heated couch conversations.
How is it that these beloved family gatherings often devolve into chaos or frustration so easily? Perhaps it’s due to relatives with wildly different political ideals, or family members who love to debate theology, or perhaps even you or your family are far more opinionated on holiday traditions than others. Whatever excuses we tell ourselves, the real reason stems from a greater issue: when we take our eyes off God and His blessings, a spirit of selfless gratitude can easily morph into selfish entitlement.
This holiday season, how can we keep God in focus and ensure that we love others as He has called us to? This Thanksgiving and Christmas, consider three key passages of Scripture to use in prayer and meditation, maintaining your focus on the God who has blessed us and the way He has called us to live.
Pray for anger to be controlled – James 1:19-20
In James 1:19-20, we are given a crucial reminder regarding our tempers: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
During the holidays, this passage reminds us that while we may wish to blame others for angering us, the Bible makes it clear that a failure to control one’s temper is a sin that only one person is ultimately responsible for. While an angry uncle or a cousin who loves to get on your nerves may be frustrating, it’s no excuse for your own anger to burn bright or to say something rash.
Moreover, this verse serves as a reminder that our anger – and our tongues – are something we can and must control. As tensions may flare up over the holiday gatherings, use this passage to meditate on and give words to your prayers for patience and self-control. If God commands us to live in a certain way, He won’t abandon us when our need is most significant; He will give us the ability to accomplish it if we truly focus on Him.
Pray to be the peacemaker – Romans 12:18
Romans 12:18 tells us this: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Unfortunately, many times it’s easier to live at odds with one another than to become the peacemaker in a situation. Additionally, it’s far easier to say that the situations we find ourselves in without peace “don’t depend on us.” Situations involving angry relatives, impatient guests, or high tensions are all too easily dismissed as “beyond our control.” We may tell ourselves that we’d love to be the peacemakers, but there’s simply nothing we can do.
This is not suitable for Paul. His command, under the caveat of “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you,” isn’t a cop out for not trying; it’s an admission that in some situations we may try but fail because it truly is beyond our control. But Paul – and more importantly, the Lord – still calls us to make an effort to live at peace with everyone.
That means this holiday season, there is no excuse or blame to be placed on others for “starting it” or “escalating it.” On the contrary, those are the very situations for which we are mandated to speak love and peace into. As Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9) Pray over these passages and ask that the Lord might use you to be a peacemaker in any situation that arises, even if it may be more complicated than you think, to bring the Lord’s peace and love into your family.
Pray to forgive as you’ve been forgiven – Colossians 3:13-14
Paul writes in Colossians 3 that we should be “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
How strongly do these words sting! Many times – especially during the high tensions of the holiday gatherings – forgiving others may feel like the furthest thing from our minds, and oftentimes we have good reason. We’ve been offended by someone’s comment, angered by someone’s treatment of another, or perhaps we’ve even been lashed out at directly. It may feel like forgiveness is beyond us because “they’re in the wrong.” Yet Paul’s reminder cuts through these arguments like a knife. Has our Heavenly Father forgiven us? Have we been in the wrong before Him? So, who are we then to deny forgiveness to others?
As the holiday get-togethers approach, meditate on this passage and the truths it offers: God has forgiven us of an incredible debt, and so that forgiveness should prompt us to forgive others when we put it into perspective. Pray through this passage that this Thanksgiving and Christmas, the Lord’s forgiveness and redemption might be ever-present in your mind, reminding you of the debt that He paid for you and equipping you to share that forgiving love with others.
Yet Not I, But Christ In Me
Whether these verses inspire your prayer or there are other passages that you lean on during the holidays, the importance lies in whether or not your eyes are being drawn to things above or things below. The longer we dwell on strife, differences, and conflict during the holidays, the more we will start to emulate them. The blessings our Good Father has given us begin to fade in comparison, but the more we dwell on Him, the more we will start to emulate Him and His love.
Avoiding stress and drama during the holidays is impossible. But overcoming them, through eyes fixed on a loving God and a mind focused on Him, is more than doable, not through our work or endeavors, but through training our minds on Him.
Matthew Potter is a founder of Pray.com, the leading app for prayer and faith-based content.
Photo credit: Unsplash/Laura Nyhuis
At a time when Potter was looking for ways to give back and become more spiritually connected, he serendipitously ran into his friend Steve Gatena at a coffee shop in Santa Monica, Calif. He could tell Gatena had been struggling and they spoke of the recent loss of his friend and business partner in a plane crash, but how he was beginning to find hope again through prayer. Shortly after that divine run-in, Potter joined forces with Gatena to launch Pray.com, desiring to apply his expertise to do something bigger for the Kingdom of God.
Before Pray.com, while he was still a student at Boise State University, Potter created HomeStack, a white label real estate app. HomeStack launched in 2012 and Potter served as CEO until he stepped down to become a part of the team at Pray.com. Potter continues to serve as Chairman of the Board for HomeStack. In addition, Potter has developed over 6,000 apps.
Calling Southern California home, Potter is from Westlake Village, Calif., and enjoys traveling to new countries, investing in real estate, and visiting new sports stadiums. He currently serves on the board of trustees at Southeastern University in Lakeland, Fla. Recently Potter has been featured on multiple podcasts including Seek. Go. Create. and The Mike Thakur Show.
