April 30, 2019
Who Me? I Did Nothing Wrong
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet He did not sin (Hebrews 4:15, NIV).
Friend to Friend
"I didn't mean it that way."
"You misunderstood me."
"You've got things wrong."
For a long time, I've endlessly defended myself to my husband.
Why? Because I hate being exposed. I hate the fact I'm trying really hard to be a great wife and yet, I get distracted when my husband shares important things. I hate that I want to be a good mom, but I feel pushed-over when my kids ask me for something more than five times. I hate that I accidentally tell my husband what to do when I know he has a plan he’s thought through.
I make mistakes. Then, I hate myself for it.
Like Eve, it is much easier to hide than to admit the truth. It is much easier to cover my actions with all the reasons I didn't mean to do what I just did. It is much easier to deny than to have to fess up to being -- imperfect.
I feel a lot of shame about how I act. I want to be better than I am. Seeing that I am not that good hurts sometimes.
One day when I was in a small group prayer setting, a friend turned to me and said, "Kelly, your prayers are just as powerful when you sound weak as when you sound strong."
Something in her words hit a nerve in me. Weakness, need, and longing are not things God detests. They don't make me any less Christian than the next girl.
Jesus is able to empathize with weakness.
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet He did not sin." (Hebrews 4:15, NIV)
Jesus understands. He had feelings. He walked hard roads. He felt hurt. He never sinned.
Jesus can handle our truth. He will also bring about the truth we need as we run to Him. He has our way out of any difficult thing we may face. With this, we can run to His throne of mercy in our time of need, without embarrassment or fear. Jesus is always only a heart-cry away. He wants to help us, to lead us, to guide us and to equip us. He is "merciful and faithful" (Heb. 2:17).
Knowing this, will help me to:
1. Fess up to my truth.
2. More easily say, “I am sorry.”
3. Ask God for help to change.
4. Consider new ways of acting.
5. Accept grace in my time of need.
When God is my greatest defense, I no longer need to tirelessly defend myself.
Father, I am so grateful for grace. Thank You for the price Jesus paid.
In Jesus’ Name.
Now It’s Your Turn
Where do you tend to defend yourself? Deny? Rationalize? Excuse? Evaluate, why do you do it?
More from the Girlfriends
Kelly Balarie, blogger at PurposefulFaith and author of the new book “Battle Ready: Train Your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt and Live Victoriously” is passionate about joining hands with women who often find themselves stuck in the pits o flife. Step-by-step, word-by-word, her dream is that together they can emerge better- fear, fret and panic-free. Get all of Kelly’s PurposefulFaith blog posts by email for a dose of inspiration and encouragement.
Originally published Tuesday, 30 April 2019.