October 11, 2011
Calming the Mama Drama
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 (NIV 1984)
Oversleeping on picture day is not a great way to start the morning. I ran to my daughters' rooms, blurting out words of panic. At first there were groans, "Oh no! Not today!"
I braced myself, sure that the drama would start any moment. Yet minutes later, I heard silliness and singing downstairs. I was shocked to hear kindness instead of quarreling. They were choosing not to take the stress they felt out on each other, and I for one, was happy!
I wish I could say my girls learned this from me, but that is not the case. In fact, God has been working on me about my own mama drama, challenging me with truths like today's key verse that instructs me to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
Too often, when my expectations aren't met or I'm faced with things I can't control, my emotions and thoughts spin out of control. Before I know it, I start talking before I even think about what I'm about to say. And all that wise instruction about being humble, gentle and patient is quickly forgotten.
What about you? Do you ever yell at your kids or let frustrations mount when plans and expectations spin out of control? Do you suffer from a little of your own mama drama?
That morning God gave me another "opportunity" to choose humility, gentleness and patience with my girls. As we were walking out the door, I realized I had not filled out the picture order forms. Scrambling to find the papers, my check book and a pen, I felt the pressure mounting again.
I had a choice: let my emotions explode under the strain into mama drama or diffuse the drama by choosing humility before God, which would lead to patience and love with my daughters.
Thankfully I can say, that morning, I paused and gave way to the Holy Spirit's leading. And my desire for peace to become my new norm and to leave mama drama behind was successful!
So, how do we do this on an ongoing basis? How do we choose to be humble, patient and bear with our kids in love?
If time allows, I have found it's really good to pull away from the situation and give myself a time out. Removing myself, if even for just a moment, affords me the opportunity to humble myself before God and ask Him to help me regroup my runaway emotions and submit my thoughts to the control of the Holy Spirit. Pulling away also shows my kids the benefits, like patience and gentleness, that result when I don't allow my emotions to rule over me.
If there isn't time to physically remove myself from the situation, there is always enough time to take a deep breath and invite the Holy Spirit to bring me wisdom and self-control.
When we surrender our emotions, our actions and our reactions to God, peace can become our new norm as we choose to leave mama drama behind!
Dear Lord, today help me to leave behind mama drama and use me to be a peace maker in my home. I want to learn to give myself a time out and ask the Holy Spirit to enter each situation I find myself in. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Looking for a way that you can connect to your girl and work through girl drama together? His Revolutionary Love: Jesus' Radical Pursuit of You by Lynn Cowell is a study for girls ages 13-18. It is a great resource for moms and their girls to do together!
A free small group guide for His Revolutionary Love can be found on Lynn's website www.LynnCowell.com for you to use with your girl or a group of girls.
Visit Lynn's website where she is sharing additional ways to make peace the new norm! She's also giving away a copy of her CD Building a Bridge to Your Child's Heart and a Starbucks gift card for you and your child to enjoy together!
In the next 24 hours, you'll probably have the opportunity to display some mama drama. When this situation arises, if you have time, give yourself a time out!
Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to make you aware of mama drama triggers. When you sense your heart and mind being pulled in the direction of frustration, offer a quick prayer for the power to choose humility, patience, gentleness and peace.
When we want our home to be a place of peace and unity, we can do that by choosing discipline over drama.
James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (NIV)
© 2011 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
Originally published Tuesday, 11 October 2011.