Choosing to Trust His Spirit Over My Own
Friday, October 6, 2017
“The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them.” Isaiah 9:2 NASB
During this particular season of our life, with two spunky and vivacious little ladies parading about, finding alone time with my hubby is a rare treat. So we try to take advantage of every opportunity life presents us with.
Who knew that I would eventually consider riding shotgun with my husband, while my parents and my girls followed close behind us a date? These mini dates have become something I look forward to and cherish. So imagine my surprise when this one surrounded me with darkness, devoured my dreams and left me hopeless.
As we drove through the night, down a long country road, the truths about what our marriage had become, those things we privately struggle with, were fully exposed. You see from the outside looking in, my husband and I appear to have it all – living the American dream if you will.
But what people can’t see is the fact that this life… the one that appears to be full and overflowing has left me wanting… wanting to be cherished, wanting to be adored, wanting to be romanced, wanting to be needed, wanting to be loved, wanting to be desired, wanting to be fully accepted for who I am, just as I am…
The Lord has indeed blessed us far more than we deserve. But just because our struggles aren’t obvious to the outsider doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Satan isn’t limited to just our finances, our health and our spiritual lives. He has an all access pass to everything that makes us, us, which makes him lethal.
A fact that became painfully obvious that night as we rode. My husband was within my reach, yet I couldn’t touch him. I sat by his side, yet felt completely alone.
Have you ever been there? Surrounded by the ones who you know love you, yet still loneliness consumes you?
As I sat in that moment, in the realization that my hopes and dreams for my marriage were just that… a figment of my imagination… I gazed out into the darkness, questioning my vision and praying that God would help me… that God would see me… that He would show me that I’m not crazy to want this.
Almost instantly, God did something profound – HE MOONED ME!
As we topped the hill, I kid you not; the biggest, orangest, fullest moon I have ever seen came into view. You see, God revealed to me what had been there the entire time – the moon… which reflects the light of the sun… the sun that was still shining despite my ability to see it.
God showed me in that moment that when you yield your life over to Him, you must yield it all. We can’t let go of the negative things and still try to give life to the positive. We must fully trust Him… His dreams… His plans… His vision for our life; allowing His sweet Spirit to silence our fears of “what might have been” and embrace the fact that they may never be.
In God’s word, He promises us this…
“For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED”."
Romans 10:11 NASB
There is a light that shines in the darkness, and It is a Great Light! But we must be willing to shift our gaze and lift our eyes to see those things which the darkness tries so hard to conceal.
I’m not saying that the death of my hopes and dreams isn’t painful, but I know that what He has for me… what He has for my marriage is better than anything I could imagine for myself.
I am thankful to say that this realization has only happened because He is already working in my marriage as well as my life. Isn’t it great to know that He never stops His work regardless of what we choose to hold on to… He is still perfecting each and every one of His precious children.
Father, thank You for the moon. Thank You for reminding me of Your presence during this definitely dark and painful time in my life. I sacrificed my life over to You many years ago, and today I now give it completely. I let go of all the good things of that old life, and trust that whatever You have dreamed for me will surpass what I could dream on my own. I know that I will not be disappointed. And Lord when the Light is concealed … please reveal the “moons” in my life. For it’s in Jesus name I pray, amen.
© 2017 by Stephanie Davis. All rights reserved.
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Originally published Friday, 06 October 2017.