Going Left When God Said Straight
By Karen Dawkins
Friday, January 26, 2018
In high school, I longed to go into full-time ministry. Instead, I made a quick decision to study social work. Then I went to law school, eventually becoming a criminal prosecutor: trying cases in court and sending bad guys to jail. In the midst of it all, I married my incredible husband.
It all sounds exciting, but my career wore me down. At one point, I thought about driving left of center into oncoming traffic… death seemed preferable to life. I chickened out, and my husband made me get help.
When I became a mom for the first time, I walked away from the practice of law. God blessed us with two wonderful boys, but I felt afraid. I cried as much as I laughed.
I invested all my heart into parenting well; but each day, I felt more like a failure than a mom. Despite “having it all,” two healthy kids, the freedom to stay home with them, a loving husband and a beautiful home, I was empty.
A few years later, we made a difficult move to North Carolina. My loneliness after our move was paralyzing. I felt alone, lost and without purpose. Eventually, we joined a great church, the place God wanted us to call “home.”
I started volunteering and the broken, empty places in my heart began to heal. God reminded me that I’m special.
He renewed my sense of purpose — lost since high school — and my heart grew. God used my detours, my legal education and my loneliness, to prepare me to serve Him in a unique and special way.
It has taken many years and a tough, lonely move for God to get me back to the place He always wanted me, in His church serving His people. God took my detours and is using them now to bless others — all the while, blessing me.
Back on track, I am doing what God always intended for me. I am filled with joy, peace, hope and love. I have purpose, His purpose. My relationship with my family is full — we laugh, play, and talk. I couldn’t ask for more!
Does your heart long for peace and joy? Maybe you have lost your way. Ask God to light your path and bring you back into the plan He has for you.
Dear God, Thank You for Your plan for our lives. Thank You that even though we make mistakes, we take wrong turns and get off track. You never leave us. Thank You for working out all the details of our lives, even our mistakes and wrong turns. Guide us and lead us to make the choices YOU want us to make. Thank You for redeeming every single part of our lives so that You can be glorified. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
© 2018 by Karen Dawkins. All rights reserved.
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