The essay explores the intense struggle many modern women face in balancing demanding careers and family life, questioning the cost of relentless ambition and advocating for intentional choices—whether it's continuing the grind or stepping away—to reclaim peace, purpose, and joy.
Pulling your hair out is easy when you are raising a demanding two-year-old. Getting him ready in the mornings is challenging enough. There’s the usual breakfast mess to clean as you hustle for day care drop off before heading out to work. And the nights? You must read for two hours each time, falling asleep before he does. As much as you know, something has to give; there is no way you will consider it to be your job because you are almost a partner in the law office. And the pay allows you and your husband to maintain a particular lifestyle, the big house, and the fancy cars. But how long before you lose your sanity?
What Are We Working For?
Women’s empowerment has been around for centuries, mainly highlighting those who have made a name in women’s rights activism or flying solo nonstop across the Atlantic. There’s also winning a trophy in a tennis match against the opposite sex. And to keep us women moving forward, becoming the first woman president of a country or the first female speaker of the House. It’s fascinating that even Mrs. Banks from the movie Mary Poppins with Julie Andrews was out every day, not really for a delightful afternoon tea with her friends, but to join the suffrage movement.
Again, we consider the mother of the two-year-old, who is thinly stretched when she decides that her promotion is valuable to her and her identity. She had worked long and hard to get to this point in her career, and there is no way she would stop now, even if her child is causing her and her husband sleepless nights and her work demands cause her anxiety.
Psalm 127:2 says, “It is in vain that you rise early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil…” So, what are we working for? Women seem driven by tireless efforts to become trailblazers in every field or industry. We enjoy the reminders of how we inspired and “gave” dignity to someone, that young girl watching and being impacted by your accomplishment. We want to go high enough to break barriers. Yet here we are begging for self-care and mental health breaks. Have we not learned from storylines with husbands and fathers who missed out on relationships with their wives and children because of work demands? Are we trying to overlook that men are not exempt from fatigue and want to find work-life balance for themselves, too?
These Extraordinary Historical Moments for Women
I was invited to speak on women’s empowerment for a radio network in the Philippines a few years ago. As I prepared for the message, the first thought that came to mind was The Making of the Philippine Flag, a masterpiece painted by the late Filipino artist, Fernando Amorsolo. Amorsolo’s painting had a woman, Dona Marcela Agoncillo, and two female children sewing the first Philippine flag, commissioned by Emilio Aguinaldo, the first Philippine president of the first republic. It was said they meticulously sewed and embroidered the silk cloth in five days. That was in 1898.
Dona Marcela and the children were called patriots. They didn’t take to the streets and carry placards to fight the Spaniards who conquered and ruled the country for more than 300 years. Instead, they quietly sewed in their homes, lovingly working on what would forever symbolize the sovereignty of the Philippines. And they were immortalized in one of the most important artworks in the country.
In biblical times, Lydia was known as the “seller of purple of goods…a worshiper of God.” Suppose you research Lydia and purple cloth on the internet. In that case, you will not miss the fact that she had a successful and lucrative business, catering to the wealthy elite who used the colored textile for clothing and home furnishings. Because of her wealth, Lydia could offer Paul hospitality, staying at her house after she and her household received the Good News and were baptized. You can read about this in Acts 16:11-15.
Again, two things describe Lydia: purple goods and a worshiper of God. Her best action was to listen to Paul's message, receive it in faith, and have herself and everyone else living in her home baptized. This may seem ho-hum to the world because there was no drama behind her life story. Yet Lydia will always be a woman lauded in the pages of the Bible as a rich, godly, and generous woman.
In Search of a Work-Life Balance
It’s hard to live with stress and anxiety in this fast-paced world. More women seem to find themselves in high-powered careers, fighting tooth and nail to get to where they want to be—at the top. But their home responsibilities never went away. They are still expected to keep their homes immaculate and their children disciplined. We’re already shamed by the superwoman powers of the Proverbs 31 woman and how skilled she is in everything, appreciated by her husband, children, and their community. But here we are, still not backing down from our love-hate relationship with managing both work and home, continuing to search for that balance.
One woman in digital marketing recently posted about her resignation from her job of 15 years. She is single, with no child to worry about. Yet the struggle to find the work-life balance pushed her to reconsider her priorities. She is not opposed to work, but she is getting older. The desire to do the things she loves most, like “travel, watch concerts and football, journal, and read and watch movies and series”, pushed its way to the top of her priority list.
Then there’s the working wife who took a much-needed trip with her husband. While in Lisbon, they discovered the relaxed pace, a great healing balm for burnout. After drumming up courage, this woman quit her job and claimed it to be her best decision ever. She is filling her life with “curiosity instead of urgency.” The change of pace teaches her how to live a simpler life as they are now a single-income home and to focus on her well-being instead of climbing the corporate ladder.
Rebuilding Life
Did you notice that a woman’s search for work-life balance mostly ends in quitting a job? When we are stressed and anxious, there is no creativity or productivity. We don’t find joy and fulfillment in what we do, and we are not at peace with ourselves. James said, “You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (4:14). What’s important to you: your sanity or chaos from the rat race?
If you still decide how to manage a work-life balance, learn to care for yourself. Self-care activities do not mean shopping and spa treatments only. They may be as simple as journaling, like what the digital marketing woman will soon be doing, or sitting outside and spending time with nature. Jesus also invites you, “all who labor and are heavy laden,” to come to Him for that much-needed rest (Matthew 11:28).
Pray and seek God’s wisdom to find what is most important. What will a lifestyle change bring to you and your home? More quality time as a family? Better communication at home? Healthier relationships with one another? Jesus said, “Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full” (John 16:24).
Never feel guilty about walking away from a career. We can read all the articles on healthy work-life balance practices, including logging on and off hours, flexible work arrangements, etc. All this sounds wonderful, but those are the same things taken away when work deadlines need to be met, or someone is out on leave and you’re needed for coverage.
Work-life balance is about how comfortable you are disconnecting from your work after your mandated work hours and switching on 100 percent to being a wife and mom at home. It is your confidence knowing that your family and employer are not shortchanged by your lack of interest, energy, or time because you are distracted by personal or professional obligations.
Quitting your job or not, “there is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also…is from the hand of God….” (Ecclesiastes 2:24). This is wise counsel from Solomon, who saw how people worked themselves to death and never enjoyed the blessing and beauty of life. Life is meant to be lived well.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/svetikd
Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!
