Generally, clicking “Buy Now” shouldn’t make your hands shake. It shouldn’t make your stomach tie in knots or pump adrenaline through your body. You shouldn’t feel so jittery you want to run screaming from your computer.
But that’s exactly how I felt the morning I sat down to purchase a web domain name for a blog.
It wasn’t a difficult task. My programmer husband had recommended a hosting company. I had enough money for the purchase. Besides, no one would know or care that I owned a domain name.
Even as I added the registration and hosting fees to my shopping cart, I could not understand what I was so afraid of. Purchasing web hosting was the easy part of my plan. The rest of it—figuring out what kind of blog I wanted to create, trying to attract an audience, taking my dream of being a published author seriously—all that was infinitely harder.
How in the Lord’s name would I manage to write a blog or publish books if I could barely enter my credit card information?
Looking back on that moment nearly six years in the past, I’m still bemused by how frightened I was. But I’m also filled with a tender awe that I stuck with the purchase despite my fear.
Most of all, I’m grateful. That day, God brought many good gifts into my life. Not only did I begin to build my writing career liked I’d hoped, but my relationships, identity, and even my relationship with the Almighty began to transform the moment I finally made that purchase.
I could not understand why I was so afraid of buying that website. But that small, simple act of courage was a hinge on which my entire life turned.
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