The Power of Deception: What I Learned from My Affair

Emily Rose Massey

Updated Mar 21, 2018
The Power of Deception: What I Learned from My Affair
At 19, I had an affair with a married man. Since then, I have learned more about the powerful force of deception and how Satan uses it for his purposes.

10 years ago I considered myself a born-again Christian. I called on the name of Jesus at the age of 16 and confessed Him as my Savior. But as I attempted to walk with the Lord, I did not seek out His truth and began venturing off the narrow road and into heavy bondage and severe deception.

I had just turned 19 and found myself entangled in an adulterous relationship with a 28-year-old married man. I was an accomplice in a potentially devastating affair, a pawn in the Enemy’s hand. I lived with a dark secret and hated myself for it daily. I experienced toxic passion along with an overhaul of debilitating pain and utter despair. I pushed away all of my friends and created my own fantasy world in hidden sin and emptiness that would increase for three and half more years. It seems so unreal to even type those words out, considering my life now.

Today, I’ve been married for five wonderful years to the most amazing man of God, and we have the most precious son. I'm a worship leader and a youth pastor. I love the Lord with everything in me and want nothing more than to see a generation discover their true identity in Christ.

But I know now that it doesn’t take much to deceive yourself and destroy your life. Because Satan is the Great Deceiver.

Deception is deadly and a major weapon in the enemy's arsenal.

When we begin to believe his lies as truth, we move further away from God's Word, which is the ultimate Truth, and into the bondage of "the father of lies" (John 8:44). Of course, his lies are usually disguised with partial truth, luring us to take a bite--almost like a rotten, worm-infested apple covered with caramel.

Think of the first account we have of Satan’s deception:

'You won’t die!’ the serpent replied to the woman. ‘God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil’ (Genesis 3:4-5, NLT).

And then verse 6 says, “The woman was convinced.”

She chose to trust and believe in the words of the serpent (the enemy) instead of God’s. This passage in Genesis is so familiar to us as believers, (and non-believers too!), that we often dismiss the deep message it reveals to us:

Not only does Satan hate man-kind, he hates marriage because it is a direct reflection of Christ’s redemptive act of love for us through the Cross, that was finished “from the foundation of the world” (Revelation 12:8), as discussed in Ephesians 5:22-33.

“Adam recognized that he needed a companion ‘after his own kind’ to be complete. This was fulfilled in natural Eve. But the Son of God finds His companion ‘after His own kind’ in the redeemed human race, His Bride [Church].” –Tammy Riddering, director of Gateway House of Prayer in St. Louis

Since the beginning of man-kind, the enemy has tried to destroy marriages and uses deception as his weapon of choice.

Adultery and divorce hit very close to home, not only in my own personal life, but in many lives around me. I know that no matter the details of the unraveling of the marriage, deception was found somewhere in the midst of it. Somewhere along the lines, each person began to stray from the Word of God and even twisted scripture to fit their desires.

Beloved, we must be alert to the enemy’s devices. We must be aware of the signs of what the Bible calls “the last days,” especially of what Paul tells Timothy in Second Timothy, chapter three, verse 13:

“Evil people and imposters will flourish. They will deceive others and will themselves be deceived” (NLT).

Deception is going to increase and as people of God, we must know and trust His Word above all else. It needs to be our weapon of choice. It is the sword that we can cut down the enemy’s lies with (Ephesians 6:17). Without it, we are defenseless to the deception of the enemy. It is time to read and study the Word of God now more than ever before. I want you to be able to look back over the next 10 years and know that deception held no place in your life or in your marriage.

"I have hidden Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11, NLT).

emily-headshot Emily Rose Massey began writing short stories and poetry as a little girl, entered the blogging world in her early 20's, and recently released her first book, Yielded in His Hands (eLectio Publishing). She enjoys being a stay-at-home momma and serving in her local church with her husband in television, worship, and youth ministry. Believing she has been forgiven of much, she loves much, and desires to point others to Christ and His redemptive and transforming power. If you would like to connect with Emily or learn more about her book, you can visit her website: