The very, very first thing is that you need to know before you continue reading is that this is not a checklist. No checklist can ever bring healing from something so devastating and raw as adultery. There are no “10 steps to follow” that will guarantee that this mess will be cleaned up in any given time frame. Everyone going through this process will need different things at different times.
The second thing you need to know is that infidelity comes in a myriad of ways. To name a few: physical affairs, emotional affairs, and viewing pornography. Jesus went so far as to say in Matthew 5:27-28 that looking at another person and having lustful, covetous intentions (real or imagined), counts as adultery. Along those same lines, what it means to “survive” for one may be different for another. For one it may mean that the marriage continues. For another, surviving means they can get out of bed in the morning.
Knowing all this, here are 10 things I’ve found helpful to others and to myself who have been down this road of healing: