When it comes to your spouse, their decisions and actions or reactions are out of your control. One thing that is in your control, however, is your FOCUS. Often in marriage, we get caught up in a situation, a fight, annoyances, or triggered by fears. We allow it to consume us and distract us. Redirect your focus back on God. Typically, when you take your focus off God, is when things start to feel unsettling.
Let’s take Peter walking on water as an example. Jesus calls out to Peter in the distance saying “come (walk on water)” (Matthew 14:29). Peter steps out and begins walking on water keeping his eyes gazed on Jesus. Then shortly after Peter began walking on water, “he saw the wind was boisterous, and was afraid, and began sinking”. (Matthew 14:30). What caused him to start sinking? When he took his focus off of Jesus, and onto the wind around him.
In marriage, there are going to be distractions and storms all around us. Some will be temporary, while others for a long-suffering season. Scripture teaches us in Hebrews 12:2 to “fix our eyes on Jesus”. God knows what your marriage needs. Let’s never lose sight of our Maker during our marriage as we “seek first the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:31) When you are going through a tough storm, redirect your focus, and keep your eyes on Him.
2. Learn to wrestle well
God has taught me a very simple, yet profound truth about communicating with my husband recently. And that is: to wrestle with God first, and not with man. This does not mean that you can’t communicate what’s on your heart or your mind, but I’ve learned to FIRST wrestle it out with God.
Venting to Him, praying to Him, complaining to Him, sometimes crying to Him. I’ve learned to wrestle my feelings with God pouring out my heart to Him asking for His guidance and infinite wisdom on how to approach the situation. And friends, let me just say, that more often times than not, God does a work right then and there with me diffusing the situation in my heart. I’m able to leave any offenses right there at the feet of Jesus. It’s wrestled with AND settled with God.
Because remember that “our struggle is not against flesh or blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12). So, wrestle it out with God first as He is the greatest leader in this fighting battle.
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