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How to Pray When Your Husband Feels Like Your Enemy

How to Pray When Your Husband Feels Like Your Enemy

Betrayal from the one who promised to cherish you for the rest of your life leaves you in intense pain. You may experience waves of feeling hopelessly wounded, numb and oh so angry. The shock can rock your faith and put you at risk of adding to the problem.

Your flesh may burn with thoughts of retaliation. The enemy of your marriage will encourage you to leave because you certainly don’t deserve this.

But you made a vow. You promised to love him until death separates you. How can you love him now?

God gives you specific instructions to love your enemies and to pray for them.

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 
bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. (
Luke 6:27–28)

The following prayer will guide you to respond in obedience to God instead of reacting. A righteous response is a precursor to the peace you so desperately need. Praying will adjust your focus to God, the source of Your hope and help (Isaiah 32:17, 26:3; Psalm 121:2).

O God, you are my defender and protector and today I cry out to You because my husband feels like my enemy (Psalm. 59:1).

There is no end to the betrayal I feel. His words feel like daggers in my heart. This is the man who promised to cherish me. This is the man I promised to honor. How can this be?

He relentlessly pushes me away with his tone of voice, his posture, and his words. He slays me with his sarcasm, ridicule, slander, and lies. Day and night he speaks to me and about me harshly, and other times he doesn’t speak to me at all (Psalm 59:7).

You know his heart inside and out (Psalm 139:2–4).

You have authority over the evil one that is instigating this division between us (Philippians 2:9–10).

Rise up, O Lord, and help us. Rise up against this evil at work in our marriage. Shield my breaking heart from this unbelievable attack (Psalm 59:4; Proverbs 30:5).

I am so angry at him, Lord. I am so angry that this is our reality. How could this happen to me, to us? Help me deal with this anger and not sin against you (Ephesians 4:26).

In obedience to You, I forgive _______. I choose to forgive because I know that I am not free from sin, and I need Your forgiveness. I trust Your Word. You promise that righteousness produces peace and a quiet life. I desperately want this peace, Lord. Empower me to keep forgiving _____ and to faithfully confess my own sin to You (Matthew 6:15; Isaiah 32:17; 1 John 1:9).

You are a merciful God, and I plead with You to be merciful to my husband. You offered Jesus as a perfect blood sacrifice so that ______ and I could both receive Your undeserved favor. Neither of us deserve Your help, but I am so thankful that You are our river of life, our portion, and the source of all we need (Romans 3:25–26; John 7:38; Isaiah 55:1; Psalm 73:26; Philippians 4:19).

Please deliver my husband from the grip of the evil one. _____ is buried alive in his sin. He has been captured and made to believe I am his enemy (Matthew 6:13).

But the enemy of his soul is no match for You. He is not all knowing, all-powerful, and ever-present, but You are! He is not Lord over the heavens, the earth, and things under the earth, but You are. He is a wicked one that runs when no one is chasing him (Colossians 1:16–18; 1 John 3:20; Proverbs 15:3; Philippians 2:10; Proverbs 28:1).

You said, “It is finished,” and I believe You. I believe You are the banner of love and victory over all. In the name of Jesus, I place ____ and me under Your authority. Let Your will be done in our marriage, Lord (John 19:30; Song of Solomon 2:4; Psalm 20:5; Matthew 6:10).

I believe You are fighting for us in the spiritual realm. I believe You are moving heaven and earth to save us from the temptations and schemes of destruction at work in our marriage. I will wait on You, and I will believe. Please help my unbelief (Exodus 14:14, 15:3; John 10:10; Mark 9:24).

While I wait, I will sing of Your mighty strength and power. I will sing of Your mercy and loving-kindness day and night. You are my ultimate defense and place of refuge. You have been victorious through the generations to all who call on You in faith. I expect to see the victory in our marriage because You are my hiding place and I put all of my trust in You (Psalm 59:10, 100:5).

My heart cry remains, Jesus is Lord over my marriage and my husband (Romans 10:9).

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Prayers for New Brides BookJennifer O. White is the author of Prayers for New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress and Marriage Armor for the #PrayingBride. Jennifer is a natural encourager who offers hope from the truths of God’s Word at her blog, Prayerfully Speaking. With every blog post, Jennifer is exalts the one true God who can empower us to do more than we can ask or imagine.