How to Find New Grace When Mothering Wears You Down

Betsy de Cruz

Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
Updated Jul 19, 2017
How to Find New Grace When Mothering Wears You Down
Little kids wear your body down. Big kids wear out your heart. Here's how to find new grace each day, for each stage of motherhood.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I had no idea I was signing up for the world’s hardest job. One day while I complained about the plagues and problems of pregnancy, a friend said, “This is nothing. The hard part starts when that baby comes out.” But I didn’t believe her.

The fact that she already had two kids should have clued me in, but I didn’t get it.

I didn’t know being a mom could wear you down like nothing else.

Little kids wear your body down. Late nights and interrupted sleep can turn any woman into a zombie. Then there are fights to referee and messes to clean up. You need the agility of a ninja to make it down your hallway without tripping on Legos and Nerf Blasters.

Big kids wear out your heart. Adolescence brings still more late nights because they’re not home yet. You learn to keep your cool when they blow up on you or pour their hearts out to you. You pray more when they make wonky decisions.

Some days you feel like it’ll take a supernatural act of God for you to take one more mom step. You might even long for the days when you were a child yourself without a care in the world. Please know you’re not alone.

Maybe the secret to finding new grace as mothers is remembering we’re still children.

We forget we’re children first and mothers second. We have a heavenly Father who delights to call us daughters.

Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba,Father.’  So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.” -  Galatians 4:6-7

We don’t usually think of these verses in connection with motherhood, but I see three truths for moms here:

1. We’re the children God delights in.

Remember how your baby mesmerized you and took your breath away in the delivery room? You delighted in rocking your little miracle and rubbing your cheek against her fuzzy head. How much more does your Heavenly Father, the most loving and joyful being in the universe, rejoice over you?

God is so delighted with us that he gave us a breathtaking gift; He sent His own Spirit into our hearts to mark us as His children. He also makes us His heirs; we have an eternal inheritance. Sometimes we moms need to remember we’re God’s children first and foremost. When we stop and pay attention, His Spirit reminds us we’re loved and treasured.

2. We’re no slaves.

Let’s face it. Mothering can feel like slave labor. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and driving never end. Not receiving a paycheck for it can make us feel like our work lacks value. For me these verses from Galatians are good news: “You are no longer a slave, but God’s child.” That’s freeing. It reminds me that as an heir of Christ, I have a noble calling. My work has meaning. No longer a slave to sin, I’m a daughter of God who’s been set free to serve.

  • We’re not slaves to those tiny human beings who howl for milk in the night. Because we’re children of God, we’re free to get up and serve them.
  • We’re not slaves to our hungry hooligans who get cranky when dinner’s late. As daughters of God, we’re free to breathe deep, put on the patience, and serve up another meal with love.
  • We’re not slaves to worry and fear when our young adults make choices that might hurt them. We’re daughters of God, empowered to do battle in prayer for our kids, free to let go of control and trust our Father with them.

We’ve been set free from slavery and empowered to serve, yet part of being a child is that we have the privilege of rest when we need it. We’re not slaves to any Superwoman trap either. We’re free to ask for help from husbands, friends, and family when we need to rest.

3. We need time with our Father.

The Spirit inside us calls, “Abba, Father!” We can call His name when we need a rescue for a bad day or just a moment to feel His arms around us. Sometimes we need a few minutes to step away from the responsibilities of motherhood to sit with our Heavenly Father and relax in the knowledge that we’re His children.

Often I have an all or nothing approach to spending time with God. I think it doesn’t count unless I have a half an hour to read my “Bible in One Year” program, pray, and write in a journal. If I can’t do all that, I end up not doing anything.  In reality, our Heavenly Father delights in any small effort we make to spend time with Him:

  • Sitting a few minutes at the kitchen table with our Bibles at the start of the day.
  • Turning up the worship music when we’re stopped in traffic. (Instead of losing our marbles over it.)
  • Seizing five miraculous minutes alone in the kitchen to sing a quiet worship song while we cook dinner.
  • Lighting a candle and praying for a moment.

We find the strength and sanity we need for each day when we draw near to God. Even in our weariest moments, our Father’s touch is what will give us the grace to continue the loving work of motherhood day by day.

Lord, thank you for the privilege of being your child. Help me to let go of my responsibilities for a few moments each day to sit in your lap. Draw me close and let me feel your delight in me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Image Credit: Unsplash.com

Betsy de Cruz writes to encourage women to stick close to God, even when life gets bumpy and crazy. Her free guide, 10 Days to More, shows readers 10 ways to do devotional Bible study. It’s available at Betsy’s blog, Faithspillingover.com, where you’ll find Bible study and prayer tips, as well as encouragement for family life and everyday faith. You can also find Betsy on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.