For Mothers Raising Kids Without Fathers
For Mothers Raising Kids Without Fathers
Kia Stephens iBelieve Contributor
No little girl dreams about being a single mom; it just happens.
Instantly, the dream of happily ever after suffers a serious blow - taking a little hope with it. Engulfed in a situation that seems so final, women muster the strength to overcome. My mom did.
I was still in diapers when my parents divorced - too small to comprehend the ramifications the end of a marriage would have on my life. And although my childhood memories aren’t filled with a 2-parent household, all my immediate needs were taken care of. I had no understanding of how my mom did it or how difficult it was to raise me alone, until now.
I used to think mothering was cute - a nice little byproduct of marriage. However, after a few years in the parenting trenches, I can now say that myth has been debunked. From it’s inception, mothering is a joy, but it is also messy, difficult, and completely unpredictable. I now realize getting those small humans out was actually the easy part; rearing them is much more challenging.
Everyday, from the morning routine to bedtime, it is simply non-stop - meals, cleaning, homework, patience, discipline, extracurricular activities, conflict resolution; it never ends. But the weight of keeping the balls circling in mid air does not rest solely on me; there is a team effort in our household. Even still, at the end of the day I’m exhausted and I can’t fathom doing it by myself; although many women do.
Courageously taking up the mantle of responsibility they accomplish what must be done. I’ve seen it countless times. Whether it is the mother whose husband suddenly died leaving her with four kids, or the woman with an unfaithful spouse, women are bearing the weight of being a single mom.
So to the woman steeped in parenting quicksand - about to go under - here’s a rope. God sees you. Every tear, unspoken worry, and sleepless night has not gone unnoticed by Him.
He is aware and concerned about you. And though we, as mothers, live in the mundane - scraping Cheerios off of the couch, scrubbing toilets, and chauffeuring little people like a taxi driver - we are not insignificant.
Your sacrifice, perseverance, and selfless service are seen by an all-knowing God. And in the midst of overdue bills, incomplete housework, and broken dreams, God the dream-giver is thinking of you.
How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me! Psalm 139:17-18 (TLB)
If you find yourself overwhelmed by the gravity of managing it all, cast your cares on your Heavenly Father. This is a daily practice I learned from my mother. In the morning, it was not uncommon to find her crouched down on bended knee crying out to a God for all that concerned her. I’m sure I was a frequent topic of discussion during my transition to adulthood.
And so mom, if your reading (and I know you are) thank you for never throwing in the proverbial towel on the task of raising me; I know it wasn’t easy. Thank you for the prayers prayed, money spent, games you sat through, and the times when you were I-can’t-do-another-thing-tired; but you did.
To the single mother reading this post, be encouraged. When you feel alone, know He is smack dab in the middle of your mothering whirlwind, and He is more than capable of meeting your needs. Most importantly, know that when the lights go down on Mother’s Day and we are on to the next national celebration, your value will not fade into the distance or be forgotten by the God who made you.
Image Credit: ©Thinkstock.com/shironosov
Kia Stephens is a wife and homeschooling mama of two who is passionate about helping women know God as Father. For this reason, she created The Father Swap Blog to be a source of encouragement, healing, and practical wisdom for women dealing with the effects of a physically or emotionally absent father. Each week through practical and biblically sound teaching she encourages women to exchange father wounds for the love of God the Father.