Children often forget that their parents were once children, too. And though parents were raised in a different time, under different circumstances, some of the issues are still the same.
It’s important to let our kids know that we understand some of what they’re dealing with. And even when we don’t fully understand what they’re going through, we can still assure them that we remember what it was like to be a kid.
Some phrases to AVOID when trying to convince your children that you understand, are phrases like:
I know exactly how you feel.
Don’t worry, you’ll get over it.
Instead, it’s important to listen first, then offer prayer and support to help your children handle whatever problems they’re facing.
Here’s a conversation starter to help your children know you understand:
“I’m really sorry you are going through this. I wish I could say I know exactly how you feel, but I don’t. However, I want you to know I’m here for you. I am on your side. And together, we will work through this.”
Misunderstanding #2: “My parents are trying to control me!”
Probably the biggest conflict between parents and kids is the battle for control. While children are convinced their parents are trying to control their every move, many parents are simply trying to manage the family properly.
Some phrases to AVOID in the battle for control would be:
You are out of control, so I have no choice but to control you.
I don’t care what you think. I’m the parent and you’re the child.
Someday, you’ll be in control of your own life, but for now, I’m in charge.
Instead of being overly authoritative, parents can firmly, yet lovingly remind their children that their standards are based on God’s standards.
Here is a conversation starter to help diffuse the control battle:
“I’m sure it feels like I’m trying to control you, and I’m sorry about that. I just want to keep you safe and raise you to the best of my ability. I’d like for you to give me your input on how we do things in this family. Maybe together, we can come up with some family standards that stay true to God’s Word and make sense to everyone.”
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