Girlfriends in God - Feb. 7, 2008


February 7, 2008

The Dance of Marriage

Sharon Jaynes



Today’s Truth

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior” (Ephesians 5:22-23).


Friend to Friend

Several years ago, Steve and I decided to take ballroom dance classes. I had seen couples gliding across shiny dance floors, moving as one to the fluid sounds of a melodious orchestra. That’s what I wanted to do. I wanted us to be Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.


We signed up for our six-week-dance class, but instead of gliding around the room, we learned to make boxes with our feet. I quickly became bored with the “slow, slow, quick, quick” march and asked the instructor if we could move around the room a bit. So, she taught us how to make a box with its lid open: two steps sideways and two steps forward.


Actually, Steve moved forward; and I had to move backward. This seemed unfair to me. Why did I have to be the one to move backward? Now, I understood that we couldn’t both move forward. We would be on a certain collision course. But why me?


The instructor assured me that this was the way God had planned it and told me to stop complaining. (She didn’t say it exactly like that, but that’s what she meant.)


After a few dance lessons, I didn’t look like Ginger Rogers; actually, I resembled Fred Rogers. We were not gliding around the room, moving as one. It was more like Steve was pushing a shopping buggy around the mirrored dance floor.


I use the word “push” because I wasn’t guided so easily. More than once, the instructor tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Mrs. Jaynes, you’re leading again.”


After a while, I did learn how to give in to the gentle pressure of Steve’s hand on my back to move me forward and the release of the pressure to move me back. With a slight tug, I learned when to twirl, and with a lift of the arm, I learned to spin. Amazingly, I discovered that Steve had the most difficult job as leader of the dance. He had to learn when and where to push, press, release and all I had to do was follow his cues. When I did, I looked liked the one doing all the fancy moves, but in reality, I was just following his lead.


What a lesson God taught me about the dance of marriage. When I learn to comply with my husband’s leadership, we move as one in a beautifully choreographed dance designed by God.


Let’s Pray

God, I’ll admit that sometimes I have trouble following my husband’s lead. Not only that, sometimes I have trouble following Your lead. Help me to be a good partner in the dance of life, both with my husband and with You - my LORD.

In Jesus’ Name,



Now it’s Your Turn

Do you ever have trouble giving your husband the gift of leadership?


Can you think of another woman in the Bible who had that same trouble? Hint: You don’t have to look further than the first three chapters.


What was the outcome of Eve taking the lead?


I don’t know how I would have handled my husband’s building project if I had been Mrs. Noah, but what was the outcome of her submission to her husband’s crazy boat idea?


What can we learn from Mrs. Noah?


More from the Girlfriends

February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages. Do you want to become the woman of your husband’s dreams? The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night? Then you’ll want to read Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes for an insightful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role only you have in your husband’s life.



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Originally published Thursday, 07 February 2008.