Controlling Others Verses Self - Encouragement Café - October 2, 2015


Controlling Others Verses Self

Café Menu for Friday, October 2, 2015

Today’s Special is:  In A Sticky Situation

Carefully prepared just for you by your friend, Aj Luck

Main Ingredient

A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls.

Proverbs 25:28 TLB


Are you a control freak?  I know I am, and I absolutely hate that about myself.

Isn’t it easier to have "others control" rather than self-control?


How so?

It’s easier for me to tell you how to eat healthy and what workouts are the most effective for weight loss and management.  Yet, I rarely do the things I so easily suggest to others.

“You shouldn’t really eat carbs.”  I say, as I’m finishing the last few bites of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  The bread and sugar are terrible for your body.

I grab my diet soda and begin washing down the residual peanut butter.

“And the chemicals in diet soda is the absolute worst!  It causes all kinds of problems.”

My friend stares at me, as if I’ve suddenly grown a third eye.

“Oh.”  I think to myself, “I must look like a hypocrite right now.”

I fumble around for the right words.  “I know it looks bad right now, my choices and all.”  I say, as I dust off the remaining crumbs of lunch from my shirt.  “I’m just in a place right now where it’s hard for me to get back in the swing of things, but I’m working on it.”

She continues to stare.

Suddenly I hear the voice of Yoda in my head.  “Do or Do not.  There is no try.”

I know I’m lying to myself, and inevitably, I’m lying to my friend.

The advice I’m giving, well, it is good advice.  It’s just not advice that I seem to be following at the moment.

Why is it so easy for us to be experts in advice to others, while we, stand in our own versions of quicksand, sinking?

This is a light hearted, but honest point I’m trying to make about operating in the Spirit of Self-Control.  Our human nature would argue that it is so much easier, and dare I say comfortable trying to control others verses operating in self-control.

It’s the old adage, “Do what I say, not what I do.”

Self-control is a must!  Without it, every area in our life is affected; our mindsets, emotions, reactions, behaviors and habits.  In all honesty, when I stop looking to God to help me in my daily life, I start trying to solve my problems in the worst possible way (like emotionally eating instead of praying).  I become blind to my own issues and hyper focus on others.  Do you do this too?

This is not only backwards thinking; it’s a very dangerous place to be.

So remember, next time we go to point out the breadcrumb in our friend’s eye, we need to remember to wipe the peanut butter off of our own shirt first.

Take Out:

During your quiet time, find a journal and answer these questions honestly.  Then ask the Holy Spirit to shine the light of His Wisdom into your heart, heal you and help you move forward in the Spirit of Self-Control.

Self-Control Self-Examination Questionnaire:

1.Have I lost control to dangerous emotions or a damaging sin?  How do I know?

2.Why do I have difficulties restraining myself from what I know isn’t good for me?

3.Do others describe me as calm and collected or erratic and uncontrolled? Why?

4.Is my first reaction to something a Fruit of the Spirit or a loss of control? Why?


Dear Jesus, please help me walk hand in hand with the Spirit of Self-Control.  Enable me to respond verses react.  Give me wisdom when to move forward and when to stand still.  Help me surrender areas of my life where I tend to try and control others verses allowing Your Spirit to control me.  Thank You.  I love You.  Amen.

© 2015 by Aj Luck.  All rights reserved.

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Originally published Friday, 02 October 2015.