B. M. S. (Bad Mom Syndrome)
Café Menu for Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Today’s Special is: Working Mom Guilt
Carefully prepared just for you by your friend, Robin Jones
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
– Matthew 11:28–30 NIV
Psst… Hey Mamma…
Are you tired and worn out? Feel like a failure? Me, too.
For years, I would:
- Work, work, work.
- Try, try, try.
- Strive, strive, strive.
- Exhaustion, exhaustion, exhaustion.
- Wall, wall, wall.
- Fail, fail, fail.
This never-ending cycle would be followed by: “BAD MOM.”
This syndrome, known only to the female species, is called B.M.S. (Bad Mom Syndrome). It seems to be found in all Moms, but it especially rears its ugly head in Moms who work.
Some of us have to work because our family needs the money to stay afloat or get ahead. When I was a single mom, raising a small child, working and going to school exhausted me. Survival drove me to work each morning, but the juggling act made me easy pickings for the enemy.
Depleted of energy, I felt sluggish and irritable a lot. My temper was short and the list of self-recriminations was long. Chronic B.M.S. plagued me.
One day in the middle of a condemnation party unhappily hosted by me, the word “Come” was pressed into my heart. Tired and weary, I fell to my knees and came to Jesus.
Working Mom guilt is what the Savior’s “Come” was built to handle.
In our verse, you can see it is meant especially for B.M.S sufferers. Jesus says “Come, all who are weary and heavy burdened.” He tells us to bring the things that make us weary and overly-burden us to Him. That means that He is asking us to turn over our list of self-recriminations, worries, our overwhelmed feelings to Him. Why? Look a little further, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
When we check our heavy, guilt-laden luggage with Jesus, He exchanges it with His promises to teach us His way (i.e., peace, gentleness, kindness, patience, love) AND gives us rest.
Hey, Mamma… don’t you need that? Me, too.
How to ditch the “Bad Mom” lie:
1) Make a decision to have a relationship with Jesus. Click here.
2) Spirit--Prayer & Scripture Assignment:
a. ask Jesus to help you to turn over the guilt, to help you identify where it comes from, and prompt you with scriptures as a weapon.
b. Search the Word to identify scriptures to use as a defensive weapon.
3) Mind --Journal Assignment:
a. Write down a list of when you feel like a Bad Mom (e.g., when my kid is the last one at day care.)
b. Then, write a list of what triggers that feeling (e.g., when I don’t leave from work on time and am late picking my kid up.)
c. Look at each feeling/trigger to see if you can see a pattern (e.g., I have three different things on my list that relate to time management: I’m late picking them up. I miss their events. I freak out on the highway because I’m going to be late.)
4) Body--Physical Exercise Assignment:
a. Take a walk and pray through the scriptures, lists, and patterns.
b. Spend some time focusing on breathing. Breathe in the Holy Spirit while you expel the stress and negative thinking.
Father God, there are working moms out there who are so tired. Lord, there is one today who needs to have a burden lifted. She needs a light to her path. Lord, You are our Peace. You are our Light. Lord, lift her weary head so she sees You. Encourage her heart that she can leave her guilt with You. Let her learn Your humble and gentle way. Let her feel how much she is precious to You and let her rest in Your loving arms. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
© 2014 by Robin Jones. All rights reserved.
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Originally published Wednesday, 07 May 2014.