Mental illness doesn’t make you less of a Christian. Her journey proves that Jesus stays close, even when His people fall short.
I lived with undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and anorexia for over ten years. During this time, I also developed OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), which also went undiagnosed. Over the course of this decade, my symptoms only got worse to the point that I had to see someone eventually. When I was homeschooled, I never went to the doctor. The only exceptions were when I was stung by a bee and found out I was allergic to bee venom, and then the visit to the emergency room after food poisoning.
However, I never saw a regular doctor until I was in college. It was after my mom passed away, and my dad said there was no arguing—we all were going to be starting to see a doctor. Thankfully, my sister and I got a very kind doctor who looked at the entire person rather than just giving us five minutes and then ushering us out. It was because of him that I was able to get a diagnosis of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, anorexia, and OCD. Through the proper diagnosis, I have been able to be on medication, which has helped manage the symptoms that come with these diagnoses.
Support Versus Lack of Support
Sadly, not all Christians were very supportive of my mental health struggles and it hurt me severely. Rather than being a source of support, they were a source of my pain and self-doubt. If I just had "more faith" I wouldn't have depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, or OCD. I have also been told by many that my mental health illnesses are sins that I need to work through.
To say this has damaged my walk with the Lord is an understatement; however, I have found that I haven't each time I feel that the Lord has hurt me. I have actually been hurt by those who claim to be His followers. Jesus isn't the one who has been hurting me, it has been the so-called Christians at church who have no problem insulting and ridiculing their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. When I needed help from those I thought to be friends, they all backed out.
Nobody replied to my texts, and nobody would return my calls. These were all supposed to be Christians who had previously claimed they would always be there for me. I think once you are diagnosed with a mental illness, this rule doesn't apply anymore. They saw me as a freak or someone you shouldn't be associated with. With time, I regretted ever opening up about my mental health struggles because it felt like it made me a target of ridicule.
I believe in transparency, as it helps us to know we are not alone in our struggles. Unfortunately, the Christian culture community tends to highlight a perfection-type of lifestyle that is, in all honesty, not real. The tradwife trend, "the look perfect before my husband gets home from work" image, and the ideology to raise perfect children who never have a screen placed before them is a bit impossible, to say the least. We are living in the twenty-first century, not the 1950s.
Not to mention, I asked my dad about the 1950s since he grew up during this time, and he said that his mom never did anything like the tradwife trends. Therefore, we don't need to hold ourselves to unrealistic standards or to put such an emphasis on those who seem to have a perfect life. When it comes to mental illness and just a genuine life in general, it will be far from perfect. Life is messy, and sometimes we will be faced with diagnoses that we feel are embarrassing or somehow make us inferior to others. However, they don't define us or make us less of a believer.
While the Christian community has not been very helpful in my recovery and growth, my sister and my dad have been. I have a few friends who are not part of Christian culture who have also been supportive of me, even on my hardest days. I am eternally thankful for them as well as for the help from Jesus. Sometimes the only support we will have is Him, and we will find that He is more than enough to help us get through a tough time in our mental health journey.
Doesn't Stop at Mental Issues
Something that I have also found to be true is that some Christians don't only think mental illness is taboo, but also physical illnesses as well. I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune illness at the beginning of this past year, and I have once again had zero support from those who claim to be Christians. Once again, nobody reached out, nobody called, and nobody cared enough to send a simple text to see how I'm doing. It's safe to say, I don't find much help in the Christian community since you have to be "perfect" in order to be accepted.
When we look at Jesus, we see someone who loves us and doesn't condemn us based on our struggles. We don't see someone who doesn't have time for us or views us as a burden. Instead, we see God Himself taking on flesh in order to redeem us (Philippians 2:5-11). Rather than basing Christianity on Christians, we need to base Christianity on Jesus.
Christians will fail us, and this is something that I have had to learn the hard way. Instead, it may be at school, work, church, friend groups, or even family members, the Christians we know all have the capacity to hurt us and fail us. As much as I wish this weren't true, it is, and we need to be aware of it. However, we don't need to allow it to give us a warped or distorted view of Jesus because He is not the Christians that we see. He is God, who loves us beyond measure (Romans 5:8; Zephaniah 3:17).
Co-existing State of Glory and Pain
Despite popular belief, mental illness and Christianity can co-exist. Just because you have a mental illness doesn't mean you are not a true Christian, and in the same way, just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you cannot have a mental illness. Mental illnesses are extremely common in the present day, as there are higher levels of depression and anxiety than ever before. We don't need to doubt our own faith or the faith of others when they are diagnosed with a mental illness.
Sometimes my depression and anxiety have actually helped me to lean on God more. When I'm at my wits' end and can handle no more, I find comfort in God's love. He gives my heart the peace that it needs. I talk with Him in prayer and tell Him everything on my mind. We all need to do this as the Apostle Peter is right when he says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Although we are not in our perfect state now, there will come a day when we are transformed into glory. The Apostle Paul tells us, "For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality" (1 Corinthians 15:53). Our earthly bodies will be transformed and changed to our eternal bodies. While we will still look the same, we will no longer suffer from any illness, whether physical or mental. It will be a glorious day when we will finally be freed from all suffering (Isaiah 40:31).
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