Originally published Friday, 23 August 2013.
You know that awkward moment when someone asks you how you are and you tell them the raw honest truth.
But all they really wanted to hear was, “I’m good. All good”
I just had one of those.
I blurted out how weary and exhausted and drained I feel. How I thought once all of my husband’s cancer treatment was done I’d feel better and how instead even my bones feel fatigued. There is a catch in my voice and tears waiting for me to blink them out as I answer.
I could see the other person felt uncomfortable with my honesty, as I spoke, like they’d rather I kept my brokenness to myself.
They looked at me like they wished I hadn’t let them see the cracks in my heart.
The conversation ended and I breathed a prayer,
‘Thank you that my brokenness and honesty isn’t too much for you, Lord.’ (tweet this)
Sometimes I like to put myself into bible verse, to pretend that the verse was written as a love letter to me.
I do that sometimes with Psalm 147:2-3, ‘The Eternal, Architect of earth, is building me…He binds my wounds, heals the sorrows of my heart.’
As I do this I remind myself that God isn’t uncomfortable with my unfinished, raw emotions. He doesn’t mind that when I utter what is on my heart I show I don’t have it all together, that I’m weak.
God pours himself into the cracks in my life - not uncomfortable with my struggles - but not prepared to leave me there either.
God sees my weaknesses as cracks waiting to be filled with himself. (tweet this)
Ponder: Do you sometimes feel some of your emotions are too much for the people are around you? Have you tried to tell God how you feel?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, come and fill the cracks in my heart with you. I need you to bind my wounds and heal the sorrows of my heart.
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