Originally published Friday, 22 November 2013.
Ok, so I know that HATE is a strong word to use. Maybe dislike would be a better, softer choice of words? Nope. I honestly, truly, sincerely HATE taking pictures of myself.
Now, before I start sounding like I'm fishing for compliments here, please know that I'm sharing this out of my own need to work through my weird, self focused issues of photographing my own mug. Any day of the week I will snap a quick pick of my stinkin' cute 5 year old son as he makes goofy faces. He sure does know how to make goofy faces in front of the camera...silly boy. Any other day of the week I love instagramming (@sarahfmartin by the way) the beauty I see in life around me. But, this day, this week in which I had a photoshoot, I am trembling at the thought of peeking at the pics my wonderfully talented photographer shot.
Just to give you some context. Yes, even though I HATE doing them, photo shoots are a necessary part of life these days, right? In a world of social media and in my ministry world of writing books, people need to visually relate to who I am. Therefore I've stressed for weeks about it. I worried if the outfit I chose would add to the obligatory 10 pounds those in the film biz always talk about. I worked out like a mad woman to make sure my heiney was at least a little bit smaller. I meticulously planned my hair appointment and the following time under the blow dryer all to ensure sleek and frizz free hair for the big day.
Yet...I can not bring myself to even take a peek at the pictures.
But alas, I must practice what I preach about body image...yes...I'm a hypocrite...I will admit it. The hardest chapter I've ever written (found in my book Stress Point) I spilled the beans about my personal struggles with eating disorders and body image. So, friends...I'm going to take my own advice here...
GET OVER YOURSELF, Sarah!
Ok, I hear you Lord!
In a season Thanksgiving, I'm going to be strong and be grateful.
~Instead of obsessing over the extra 10 (or more!) pounds that I see in my photo or in the mirror I'm going to THANK my Lord for giving me a healthy body in which I can sweat and work out hard to keep up that good health.
~Instead of picking apart how my arms look fat or my cheeks look full, I'm going to PRAISE my Lord for His the creativity and care He took in creating my body.
~Instead of photoshopping the laugh lines and smile wrinkles, I'm going to embrace them with GRATITUDE that I have joy in my heart...so many years of laughter and smiles to create those extra textures on my face.
So that's it friends. The real and the raw about my issues. I'm off to check out the pics from my photoshoot. With a beating heart, and tons of prayer of course! Thank you for being my sounding board. Hugs!
Any thoughts on gratitude and body image? (I know...that pair of words is kind of odd, right?)
Leave a comment. Let's chat!