I am Not a Victim

Originally published Thursday, 08 May 2014.

I am not a victim; hear me roar! I recently have had the incredible privilege of setting up two new websites, and -- get this -- dream coaching a former mentor of mine today. I'll never forget her challenging but sweet words many, many years ago at Grace Chapel of the Coast in Oceanside, CA. She said,

"The Holy Spirit wants to know -- if you were well -- what would you do?"

I wrote: play worship on the piano, get married, and publish books. I still have that card somewhere in a journal. It baffles my mind that the Holy Spirit has not only answered those prayers, but in such a way that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was only Him.

You guys, Jesus is alive and well. He is still in the business of making dreams come true, answering prayers, and giving His peace through the process.

Let me tell you, dreaming has not been easy. And. I am in one of those new seasons again. The Holy Spirit is prompting me to ask Him once again, "What do you want me to do for you?"

Umm. Who, me?

It's humbling. It's scary exciting.

I'm still scratching my head wondering what to pray for next.

I know what it means to dream big. I know the costs. The risks. The battles. The sleepless nights and anxiety.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was wracked with anxiety. 

That's when I remembered why I started blogging almost 10 years ago. A a co-worker of mine took advantage of me after work -- I was so humiliated. It wasn't until 2012 that I had the guts to blog about it here. It's interesting that my health issues, anxiety, and that one life changing incident caused me to write. And guess what?

I never stopped.

I wholeheartedly agree with Joseph in the Bible when he told his brothers -- the brothers who sold him into slavery -- that "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20).

I feel like I have come full circle. God used that horrible incident after work hours to show me how to fight for my dreams. Friends, I'm so glad I didn't stop fighting. Because I started blogging seriously -- I began taking myself as a writer seriously before I was even published. I opened a P.O. Box, and learned how to register my Fictitious Business Name (DBA).

Then, I learned how to properly build a website on Wordpress. Next, I learned how to brand myself, build a platform, and open a business account.

Immediately after I did all of that -- my first agent and publisher found me through Twitter. They signed me. They valued my bold courage. They saw something in me that I already saw in myself: the chance to tell my story and save many lives.

Every time I hear that one of my writings or books has brought someone to faith in Christ -- I celebrate!

Another win for Jesus!

Recently, I had lunch with my former boss -- the boss I blogged about who wasn't exactly the best help. I don't remember sending her the link, but she read it (probably through Facebook). During lunch, she apologized to me for the way she handled things -- although she couldn't remember exactly what happened almost 10 years ago. I was blown away. Friends, I wasn't expecting her apology. I had forgiven her many years ago. But it got me thinking that I'm not that same person anymore. That same fire and passion for blogging is not there anymore. I'm not the victim anymore. I agree with the Apostle Paul when he said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Timothy 4:7).

It's so amazing that God woke me up last night to show me that it's time for me to move on. To learn how to live a new story -- not based on a victim mentality, but one of freedom and exploration. I

'm excited to discover what I'm passionate about.

So it is with bold courage that I ask for your prayers because I have decided to end DevotionalDiva.com. It's time to devote my time to my new website, ReneeFisher.com, and really go for it! It's time to discover why God has created me for such a time as this! Thanks to all who have journeyed with me on Devotional Diva the past 5 years, and all the guest posters who have bravely shared their story. It's crazy how people are emailing, texting, messaging me on social media, and calling me about how how God is using Dream Devotional in their life. I am praising God with them, and praising God that He's giving me new dreams as well!

I have no regrets, and I can't wait for what's next.

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace" (Acts 20:24). "What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:8). FYI: Guest posts will continue through the end of this month on DevotionalDiva.com.