Originally published Tuesday, 16 April 2013.
I consider Father God to be like a father to me, I often ask Him advice on everyday matters, I go to Him when I am sad and need comfort. I thank Him for all of the sweet things He does for me and I know no matter what, He is often trying to teach me, guide me, help me to become who He knows I can be, who He originally designed me to be, in my mother’s womb 36+ years ago.
With all of this said, I sometimes still wonder “is He for me, does He have this, can I trust Him”
Then I get mad at myself, “what is wrong with you Lindsay, why don’t you trust Him”
Then I find my way back to His loving arms, as He comforts me, encourages me and undoubtedly reassures me that He loves me no matter what and that He does know best… That I can count on Him, that I can ultimately TRUST Him.
The word TRUST is overused a bit, in my mind anyway, but I am kind of the queen of overusing words.
Just recently I was minding my own business as something happened, something that I struggle with a bit and I started to “freak”, I started to think of 100 possibilities and I suddenly heard a still small voice in my head that said:…… “Do you trust Me Lindsay”
OOff – I was reminded; trust is something that you give moment by moment, situation by situation not typically in one full swoop. It’s a choice to trust.
I realize a lot of my blogs are written about this similar subject, but isn’t this part of the journey following Christ learning to surrender IT ALL to HIM. I really don’t think I just randomly came up with this blog title PUTTING THE PENCIL DOWN, oh gracious; it is so fitting for me and probably a lot of you!
PUT THE PENCIL DOWN (insert name here)
Let Father God lead the way, direct our path, order our steps. He is our Father, our perfect Father, no father on earth is perfect, no person on earth is or was ever perfect only Jesus Christ and He went to His Father (our Father) for many things.
I believe He wants deeper surrender from all of us, deeper trust in every situation and I am not sure if we can ever get there fully until Jesus comes back to get us. But I do believe it’s a big part of the journey. Surrender.
I had a vision a few months ago as I was going through a very dark time in my life, I was holding onto the “idea of something” something very dear to me, and something I had “thought” was what I had waited for finally coming to pass. As I sat with my perfect Heavenly Father in tears and anguish, I saw this image come to my mind, of a girl (me) holding onto ONE balloon, facing one direction, I heard Jesus behind me say let go little girl, I have something SO much better for you. I didn’t see Him (Jesus), because He was standing behind me, He had this huge bouquet of balloons, as I stared at my one little balloon I knew I had to let go of that in order to turn around and receive all the balloons that Jesus had for me. It has been months since this experience, but I can tell you, the balloons Jesus had, the balloons He was waiting to give in exchange for my surrendering my one balloon, is SOOOOOO much more than I could have ever thought or expected. The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.
Oh Lord, forgive me; forgive me for holding onto to anything that would keep me from your perfect will in my life.
Going from saved to surrendered is sometimes kinda painful, but ALWAYS overflowing with JOY on the other side……