Originally published Thursday, 07 July 2016.
have this thing that I promise myself, "If I keep my eyes on God, I won't end up far from God."
This is actually a battle mottto, because no less than 100 times a day, I have to fight to keep the forces of my mind moving in tandem with it.
Kids go haywire. Battle.
Someone speaking things that threaten me. Battle.
Anxiety creeping in. Battle.
Girl disses me. Battle.
One thing, I always promise myself not to do, is to look at other people's journeys and compare them to mine. I know this is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot. Suddenly you can't get anywhere.
The blessing you believe is yours turns black, tainted. The progress you felt you were making looks like lint. The value that God places on you resembles a jail jumpsuit, lettered: CAPTIVITY.
Comparing is the quickest way to go about killing spiritual progress. It really is.
Suddenly, you believe you are:
A. Never going to get anywhere.
B. Never, ever, going to be as good as that other girl.
C. Going to fail, so you might as well pack it all up now.
Comparing is a kid on Christmas who only sees the one toy he didn't get and sissy did. It is his red scrunched up face that glares at - he misses the 19 others wrapped goodies intended to bring joy.
Maybe you are like me saying, "Whoops! That is me. What do I do now, God? "
Friends, I want to offer you a solution here, but let me tell you, I've never been that good at giving myself the benefit of the grace (my inclination is to give myself a smack on the face).
I had a friend who knew how to love herself with grace. She got shunned by a boy, she said, "Oh, he is busy." She had a teacher be rude to her, she said, "Oh, she's having a hard day." Me? No. He hates me and she is about to fail me.
Thinking of this friend, though, it inspires me. She lets love - love her.
When it comes to comparing, I am not unliked by God, nor deemed the bad child, but am the selected child. Hand-selected to impact the world in my own way. Hand-selected to dwell in his love. Hand-selected to minister to my family around me.
He is paving a way for me; that only I can walk through.
He is doing the same for you.
Just opening that small door of grace, let's new ideas walk in:
People can succeed and I can too.
God has enough to go around.
Every woman's journey is different but equally as important in God's eyes.
God cares far more about big faith than he does about big progress.
What is good for her, can be good in me too, as I applaud her.
No one has the power to subtract joy from me unless I let them.
God's singular mission carved out for me - is mission critical in his eyes.
I am always approved, no matter how much my feelings may disapprove my work.
I am not the sum of accomplishments, I am a testament Christ's love.