Originally published Wednesday, 11 May 2016.
I know what you all would say. I am blessed. I recently was invited as guest on Proverbs 31's "Compel Conversation".
You may say, "What is the issue, Kelly? This sounds like a good thing."
It is. I agree, except for this likely question: "Tell us a little bit about yourself..."
What "little bit" does anyone even care about? Who am I?
Am I the middle schooler who won the Junior Olympics bronze medal for race-walking (yes, it's as duckish and as funny-looking as it sounds)?
Am I the caffeinated and domesticated house-cleaner, laundry-pusher and child-rearer who works tirelessly to keep the house moving?
Am I the secret vagabond woman who loves to pack up all her goods and travel to some new and foreign land that she hasn't traversed? After all, I am taping up brown cardboard yet again...
Am I the woman who hides in the bathroom when life gets tough and kids become screamers?
Am I fighter woman, the one constantly trying to keep one hand on God as my feet side-step this world detonating with traps?
Who am I? Who are you, really?
How do we sum up the 78 organs that make up "woman" when they are constantly changing? Growing. Shrinking. Aging. Becoming. Dying.
And why is there this demand that we know?
Will we ever know?
Because I don't. And, I don't know if I ever will. And perhaps this is the point. Perhaps we won't really know our place in home, until we really arrive at home. Perhaps, we won't see our tailor-made and perfected job in God's kingdom until we walk right up to the gates - and pull them open - and walk right in.
Then, we will see...
Then, we won't share a "little bit," but we will radiate in "the everything" God made us to be.
Does all of this transcend to the here and now?
When do you feel alive?
When I stand in Christ's love,
I become more aware that who I am is - one - made to love & be loved.
It is not who we are, but whose we are.
I am not scabbed, but healed by truth.
It's not about me, but about how God sees me.
It is about where he wants to go...
this is when I come alive.
Perhaps, all these little moments - with God - they force the true out from the cracks.
The heaviness of me...
can't stop the new growth of God.
It is not restrained by the weight of life...
A woman made in the image of Jesus.
A woman walking with his being in her.
A woman pursuing the dream of his cause.
A woman existing in his truth.
A woman fighting against her desires to win and succeed and - to walk all over people.
A woman looking to get untied, so she can rely on him.
A woman falling on her face, but getting back up again.
A woman healed from things that could have killed her.
This is a little bit about Kelly: A woman twirling in love. A woman listening to the Spirit's leading. A woman always anticipating more doses of God's best.
Who are you?
What heaviness is tying you down?
What might God's love want to push out from within you?