Because He says I Am

Originally published Thursday, 09 December 2021.

There might not be anything wrong. You might be okay—holding tragedy in one hand and hope in another. What if how you are—emotionally and spiritually—is not a state that can accurately be measured? What if, when a dear friend asks you, “How is your heart?” you can bumble around for a bit, do your best to share how you feel and what you think, and be okay with it? What if it is perfectly fine to not have the answers to your questions all figured out?

Almost a decade ago, on my previous blog, I wrote a 30-day series of posts that focused on the idea of forgetting myself. The irony wasn’t (and isn’t) lost on me—writing personal reflective essays on the value of one’s focus on God rather than on the self. I did this for the secondary purpose of trying to kill, once and for all, the false self’s tiring struggle with comparison, insecurity, and self-condemnation.

How is your heart?

I am okay.

Am I okay?

Trying to come up with the right answer—I mean, to be more accurate, a true answer—to this question is impossible without it being framed for us through the love of God. How we are—how we feel, how we think, how we assume to be—cannot be quantified, described, or, otherwise, at all articulated with any precision without us heeding the voice of God that is tucked away, deep inside ourselves. He is the only one qualified to inform us of what is true and untrue.

Father, how am I? How is my heart?

For when we try to answer these questions for ourselves, we cannot be trusted. Our emotions, our reasoning, our very self-focus and insecurities—make us untrustworthy.

We cannot answer these things on our own.

How we are can only be answered truthfully if we are looking through the lens of Whose we are.

How am I?

I am hurting, and I am loved, and I am okay.

How am I?

I am sick, and I am loved, and I am okay.

How am I?

I am broken, and I am loved, and I am okay.

How we are is a beautiful question to ask our friends—even if they are not sure how to answer it.

How am I?

I am a miracle, astounding in beauty and strength and light because my Father is in me.

How I am?

I am also corrupt, insecure and malcontent in my inability to perfectly release the attraction to the world’s whispers of envy and pride, comfort and comparison.

How am I?

I am becoming something beautiful. I can see glimpses of her, hear pieces of her speech, feel the settling within me when I let Him ground me in peace.

How am I?

I am becoming. I am becoming.

And why?

Because He says I am.

So for now, I will leave that answer here.

Dear friend, do you hear Him telling you how you are now? Do you trust it? What will you do in response?


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