When We Are Not Meant to Save Them

Originally published Wednesday, 24 February 2016.

She finds a seat at the big, white table in my kitchen and I share my warmest blanket with her, a recent gift from a precious friend, because I read recently that heavy blankets calm anxieties.  We both hold our cups of coffee, letting them warm our cold hands as if they could heal our hurting hearts.   We’re both recovering from major life-wounds and someone she loves called with more desperate cries earlier in the morning.  

If only her loved one would take her advice, she knows the difference the words might make.  Not everyone hears wisdom when it’s lovingly given.  The wisdom givers can feel helpless as they watch someone self-destruct.  The truth?  We can’t change everyone. We cannot make good choices for those who can’t find their way.  We can only be present.  We can pray.  It never feels like it’s enough.  Friends, it’s enough.

We may have all the advice and experience and wisdom and empathy that one person can muster…and that may not make a lick of difference to a life as it destructs.  We may feel helpless, but our helpless, desperate prayers may be all God ever asked us to give.  

Loved ones with the best intentions and the biggest hearts cannot heal every hurt.  Because Jesus is the healer.

Good advice and plans written down with twelve wise steps?  They may not save a life.  Because Jesus is the Savior.

And God didn’t ask us to solve every problem.  He never asked us to heal every hurt.  He didn’t promise we’d change this whole fallen world.  He gave Himself as the only One that would save this world.  

And He’s already won the battle.

He has already conquered death.  He has already risen victoriously over the destruction of evil.  

Jesus is on His throne and my job is to surrender to Him.

When all we can do is bow our head and pray over a hurting heart, then that is enough.  Surrendering our hurt to the true Savior?  That’s the wisest move yet.  

When we are not meant to save them, prayer is more than enough because we give the burden to Jesus.  And Jesus is more than enough because He is the Savior.

Jesus is the Savior.


We find a song on YouTube and we send the link in a text message with words that say we are praying and joining her in her breaking heart.  The message we are sending is to Just Be Held.”  We are believing that God will meet her where she is.  We are trusting His will and His timing for her.  We are carrying her burden with us, knowing that there is One who loves her far bigger and deeper than any earthly relationship could ever love.

And we point her to Jesus.  Point them to Jesus.

From my heart to yours,      ~Courtney