Go on & fall.

Originally published Sunday, 16 March 2014.

“I’m just at a loss of words…”

I feel as though I have said that quite a few times recently.

Tragic events and life’s curveballs have seemed to hit at an all-time high and left me exactly there: Speechless.

As I have tried to handle each situation with grace and care, I have realized that my human heart comes with limitations.

When I attempt to handle heartache, disappointment or tough times on my own, when I attempt to sort through difficult circumstances independently of the one who is in control of them, I will fall.

I can try and try and try again but when I operate based on what only I can understand, I will be left hopeless.

BUT it is then that I do fall.

And I fall hard, right into the arms of the One who does understand.

Knowing the fibers of my being, the restlessness of my spirit and the hurt in my heart, he scoops me up and reminds me of something I always seem to forget.

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55:8


That is it!

That is my answer to my cries and the hope for my soul: Trust.

You see, I think because of the way we are wired, we want tangible answers, reasonable explanations and detailed logistical evidence that what we are going through is necessary and how we will make it through.

We want to look into a crystal ball and KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it will be okay.

If you think about it, what we really want to be able to do is to not have to trust.

Because trusting is hard.

And it requires believing in the unseen and placing our hope there.

But it is the sweetest place we will ever find ourselves.

Do I think that Jesus wants us to be in pain, have our hearts broken, experience loss or go through things that absolutely break us?


But I do think He wants to make us more like Him.

And He knows that the safest and most hopeful place we can reside is at the feet of Jesus.

Utterly speechless and completely surrendered, knowing our hope can’t be found elsewhere.

In my silence this past week, I have been both humbled and reassured by this truth: I really, really need Jesus.

My tragedy is His opportunity.

His opportunity to show Himself faithful and loving and steadfast, as He always has, always does and always will.

Those tears that fall as I plummet to my knees with no words left to say are tears that fall in His hands and tear at His heart.

Our God needs no help to make His power known.

But He greatly, greatly, greatly desires that we give him our help, our lives—both the good times and the bad—and we recognize His authority.

Y’all, I do not understand all that happens or why it does.

I do not pretend to be unaware of circumstances that seem unjust or to stories around me that seem unfairly written.

However, I know that there is only one way to survive this battle of the mind and ultimately the heart and soul.

It is trust.

Trust that He is sovereign.

And in control.

And He is good.

And He is mighty.

And He loves you so deeply that even in your tragedy, when you have shaken your fist at the sky, claimed your heart as cold and feel no sounds left in your confused mind, He says COME.

What our flesh sees as weakness is often the spirit’s greatest test of strength.

When you can not, He can.

When you collapse at His feet, His strength intervenes and your surrender is His victory.

Will you always get the “why” part of the situation?

Of course not.

You aren’t Him!

But I can absolutely 10000000% promise you three things:

1.)   He loves you unconditionally.

2.)   Surrendering to you and trusting in Him is the only way to be victorious.

3.)   He uses all for the good of those who love Him.

So, fall.

Go on and fall apart at the feet of Jesus and TRUST Him with everything that you have.

You are loved, friend! 

p.s. Please pray for a very special man, Bill Lee, and my sweet mother, for quick healing for them both in their situations. Thank you!