Originally published Saturday, 13 September 2014.
Sometimes I just want a word from God.
I want to know that every little thing is going to be ok.
Surrounded by the #Ferguson, the ISIS, the Crimea of the world, I want to feel safe. To know that my child will be safe.
Hearing news of a friend's passing much too young, a dear one's illness, and another's terminal diagnosis, I want to know how God is going to show up and redeem the situation.
Wrestling with business dreams and forecasting expenses, charting out unknown waters and casting a vision that's far too big for my comfort, I want to know that if I jump, God will catch me as He calls out to me.
But sometimes I don't hear Him. Sometimes, instead of a word of affirmation or direction or comfort, all I hear is silence.
So I strain even more, closing my eyes, holding my breath.
Still. . . . . . . nothing.
So I go back to doing what I know to do: walk in obedience to what He's already shown me.
Will we be overtaken by terrorists? I don't know. But I know my family needs to eat something for dinner.
Will my friend be healed of his sickness? I'm not sure. But I do know there's a friend who needs me to pick up the phone and reach out to her.
Will I be able to quit my job and stay home with my daughter? Gosh, I hope soon. But until then, I need to set my alarm and go to work faithfully and cheerfully tomorrow morning.
And I often find that it's in the doing of life, in walking in obedience, that I finally hear the whisper of God.
As I pursue those things He has already revealed to me rather than demanding I know the unknown, He speaks softly in my ear,
I will never leave you. ~Hebrews 13:5
And that is enough.
I may not have answers to all my burning questions, and I may not know what the future holds, but this I know: the God who goes before me and who stands behind me has me hemmed in on all sides and He has promised to always be with me.
And my restless heart grows quiet as I step out into obedience, His whisper the wind propelling me to walk in faithfulness.
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