Peace When You’re Dealing with Family Drama
by Amber Ginter
TONIGHT'S SCRIPTURE
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." - Romans 12:18, NIV
SOMETHING TO PONDER
I grew up in a mildly dysfunctional family. By mildly dysfunctional, I mean that I was taught "someone always has it worse" as a means to cope. It wasn't until I graduated from college and started attending therapy myself that I realized I'd endured decades of trauma.
For years, my home was not a haven. I heard screaming matches, slamming doors, and heated arguments on a weekly, if not daily basis. But worse than that, I myself became a victim of verbal and emotional abuse. I saw my siblings shoot up heroin, die, and come back to life, and I lost numerous family members to addiction. My relationship with 75% of my family became dangerous and unknown. I lived in a constant state of fight or flight, anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. And yet, I truly believed this was "normal."
I'll never forget the day I had my first counseling session. I peeked into my counselor's office as he ushered me in and invited me to sit on the red sofa. I was hesitant and anxious. He asked me to go over the paperwork I'd filled out ahead of time. "Oh, boy." I thought to myself. He's going to tell me, "Someone has it worse, too." But he didn't.
Instead, he looked at me intently with compassion in his eyes. "Amber, you've experienced decades of trauma, but you have little emotion towards it. Have you ever processed this?" His words caught me off guard. I'd faced trauma?
Over the last six years, my counselor and I have worked to unpack these feelings. To process them, develop healthy coping skills, and learn how to live. But none of that would've ever been possible if I hadn't done two things:
1. Acknowledge that I was suffering.
2. Sought professional help.
Maybe the relational tension you're facing in your family isn't this severe. If so, that's wonderful. But the conflict and pain you're facing still matter, and God desires for us to pursue peace, not ignore our emotions or stuff them down.
As Romans 12:18 writes, we're called to live at peace with everyone. This includes those you get along with and like, and those you don't. Does this mean that we endure abuse or abusive situations? Absolutely not. But it does mean that we go to the Lord in prayer and pursue professional help for these issues when they arise. You can love your family from a distance and still honor the Lord in doing so.
There is nothing to be ashamed of for acknowledging what you're experiencing and seeking help. In fact, it's exactly what the Lord would want us to do! And it's a wonderful demonstration of the peace He asks us to develop.
YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER
Dear Jesus,
Finding peace when you're dealing with family conflict isn't always easy. Especially for those of us who come from broken homes, it can feel imaginary or impossible. Lord, please remind us that finding peace can be practical. Help us to be honest with you and others about what we're experiencing and seek help if we need it, whatever that looks like. Show us how to properly resolve conflict with others, and lead, guide, and direct us in the way we should go. Thank you, Jesus!
Amen.
THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON
1. What type of family conflict are you currently experiencing? Do you need to reach out for professional help?
2. Check in on your friends or family members who experience conflict of their own. Ask them how you can best support them through these difficulties.
3. The next time you face family challenges, take a few deep breaths. If you can, remove yourself from the situation, pray, and then develop an action plan.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AntonioGuillem
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Originally published Wednesday, 09 July 2025.
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