Mother’s Day is the most celebrated holiday according to Hallmark sales. But for those of us with difficult moms, we feel an added stress: a mother wound.
I was often afraid of my mom. I frequently cried because of the painful words she would sling at me. At night, I would pull up my blankets and stay very quiet, until she’d stop yelling at me. When she finally went to sleep, I’d pull out my flashlight and read. I read until all the words that cut into me would fade, and I’d fall asleep, pouring my heart out to Jesus, asking him to change how things were between us.
As I grew up into an adult and became a mom myself, I struggled to acknowledge that my difficult mom relationship didn’t change. I could never meet her expectations well enough, even though I tried to the best of my ability and the detriment of my sanity, and prayed about it my whole life.
It’s an unspoken taboo to talk about it. But some of us have difficult moms. It’s a reality that we find hard to share, but it’s true.
Especially in our Christian culture, we don’t want others to misjudge us as unloving or unforgiving daughters.
But God knows our hurts and he understands the complexities of human relationships, especially when they are broken. It is important to know we are not alone. Many of us struggle with moms who struggle with their brokenness.
There is hope for those of us with difficult moms. As children adopted into a new family, with God as our loving Heavenly Father, we can find guidance in our difficult mom relationships. We can also receive the nurture we long for, even if we have a difficult mom.
Here are 7 ways to find healing when you have a toxic mother: