10 Toxic Behaviors that Will Ruin Your Small Group

10 Toxic Behaviors that Will Ruin Your Small Group

I sat across the table from my friend in the conference room of our church. She unzipped her purse. “Let me get a Kleenex,” she said with a big sigh. “I’m so frustrated; I think I’ll need it.”

The scenario she painted was painfully familiar to me. So, I listened with compassion.

“As the Sunday school teacher, you need to confront her and let her know how rude she’s being during class. I’m tired of her blasting us as we try to express our opinion…”

She continued and demanded I take matters seriously and either tell the woman to stop or to leave the class. Gulp.

I sighed deeply. “Let me talk to those members whom you said were offended by her.”

Such a delicate matter needed diligent prayers for God’s wisdom. And I searched his Word to find it.

I spoke to each woman who supposedly was a “victim” of this woman’s demeanor. And the conclusion was that none felt that way. On the contrary, they expressed compassion and understanding, knowing she needed help.

As weeks passed, the class continued, and I had conversations with the seemingly “bullish” woman. That’s when I learned she realized her weaknesses. She was aware of the negative effect she had on the class. I expressed understanding. Eventually, she changed churches, but left behind these 10 pitfalls we need to avoid:

1. Forming Cliques

Resist loving only those women who please you, treat you the way you expect, or agree with you. Could God be testing the depth of your love? Will He find you genuinely loving every one?

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others?” Do not even pagans do that?” Matthew 7:45-46

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