The holiday season is a hectic time. Your calendar fills up with activities, your shopping lists grow longer, and the pressure to create “perfect” memories with your family and friends builds up. In the middle of all the holiday season busyness, it’s easy to be physically present but mentally absent. But you’ll make the most of your time with loved ones if you’re fully present with them during the holidays. Jesus’ life was the ultimate example of being fully present. He saw people, heard their needs, and loved them right where they were. When someone asked Jesus what was most important to God, He said it was loving God and loving one's neighbor (Matthew 22:36-40). So, during this holy holiday season, it’s essential to do your best to be fully present with the people God has placed in your life. Your time is one of your most valuable gifts, and giving it entirely is a powerful way to put love into action. As 1 John 3:18 encourages you: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” Here are 10 ways to be fully present with the people you love this season.
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1. Silence the digital noise:
Your phone and other digital devices pull your attention away from the faces of people right in front of you. That sends a message that whatever is on the screen is more important to you than the people who are right there with you. You must establish boundaries for your technology to be fully present with your loved ones. Designate “phone-free zones” during key times with your family and friends, like meals, car rides, and evening conversations. Before a family gathering or a meeting with a friend, put your phone away – in your pocket, in another room, or on silent and flipped over. Colossians 3:2 encourages you to: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Setting your mind on “things above” includes focusing your attention on your relationships with the people you love, since love is what matters most to God. Reading or watching online content, posting on social media, or sending a text or email can wait. But your loved ones shouldn’t wait for your attention.
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2. Practice the art of active listening:
Listening actively is a spiritual discipline that honors God’s careful attention to you. When you listen actively, you aren’t just waiting for your turn to speak; you’re trying to understand other people’s thoughts and feelings as much as possible. This involves paying attention to their tone of voice, body language, and the emotions behind what they’re saying – in addition to their words. So, when people are speaking, stop whatever else you’re doing and turn your whole body toward them. Make eye contact. Nod your head or give them a verbal confirmation (like “I see”) to show them that you’re really listening. Ask follow-up questions, such as: “How did that make you feel?” or “What happened next?” Proverbs 15:31 gives wise guidance for active listening: “The ear that listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.” If you’re willing to hear a rebuke, how much more should you be willing to simply hear a story, a struggle, or a joyful update from the people you love?
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3. Commit to one task at a time:
It can be tempting during the super-busy holiday season to multitask, such as wrapping presents while watching a TV show or planning a menu while talking on the phone. However, multitasking fractures your attention, making you only partially present with the people you love. God created you to be focused, not frenzied. Therefore, choose to complete one task thoroughly before moving on to the next. When you’re preparing a meal, focus on preparing the meal. When you’re engaging with your family, focus on engaging with them. This focused discipline allows you to pour your whole self into everything you’re doing so you can fully experience it. The Apostle Paul describes the importance of focus for spiritual maturity in Philippians 3:13-14: “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” If you pray for God’s help to focus, you’ll be able to break the bad habit of multitasking and start enjoying more time fully present with whatever you’re doing.
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4. Let go of the need for perfection:
Trying to create the “perfect” holidays creates unnecessary pressure and steals time that could be spent enjoying time with your family and friends. So, don’t worry about cleaning so much that your home is immaculate, cooking gourmet meals, or putting up elaborate decorations. When you’re focusing on trying to be perfect, you’re thinking about what you have to do instead of just connecting with people. Lower your expectations for a picture-perfect holiday and raise your expectations for meaningful connection. Delegate tasks, let some things go, and embrace God’s loving grace for your imperfections. If the Christmas cookies you bake burn, laugh about it! If some parts of your house are messy, close the door to those rooms. Remind yourself that loving people is your goal, not just trying to impress people. The Bible reminds you in 1 Corinthians 13:13 that love is the ultimate priority: “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” The love you share with your family and friends matters much more than anything you can do to try to impress them.
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5. Focus on presence instead of presents:
While gift-giving is a beautiful tradition that reflects God’s ultimate gift of Jesus to the world, it shouldn’t overshadow the spiritual gifts of time and attention. When you’re caught up in the pressure of consumerism, you’re preoccupied with budgets, shopping, and wrapping, which pulls you out of the present moment. Remember Jesus’s teaching in Matthew 6:21: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Let your true treasure be the relationships you have, not the material items you buy or give. Scale back on the amount of gifts you buy to reduce stress, or consider giving people experiences as gifts (like tickets or a membership) that you all can enjoy together later. When people open gifts from you, be fully present with them and offer a quick, silent prayer of thanks to God for the people you’re sharing the time with.
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6. Give people grace and compassion:
Gathering with family, especially those you don’t see often, can bring unique stresses and opportunities for conflicts. Past pain, different points of view, or just being exhausted can lead to tension at family gatherings. Being fully present involves accepting people as they are, flaws and all. Before your next gathering, pray specifically for God to give you the ability to see each person as God sees them, and for the help you need to provide them with the same grace and compassion that God does. Choose to overlook minor offenses and resist the urge to correct or argue. If a difficult conversation comes up, respond gracefully instead of with rudeness. Ephesians 4:32 encourages you to: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Your choice to be graceful and compassionate will show your family God’s love in action.
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7. Schedule downtime:
The season often pushes us to fill every available minute with some activity. Don’t overload your calendar, or you can’t be fully present with your loved ones, because you’ll have nothing left to give them emotionally or mentally. Deliberately schedule breaks in your calendar for downtime with family and friends, where the only goal is to simply be together doing anything relaxing that you all truly enjoy. Don’t neglect your own God-given need for rest; block out time for downtime by yourself, as well. Jesus encourages you in Matthew 11:28-29: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” When you’re rested, you’ll have the energy you need to be truly present for others.
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8. Practice generous hospitality:
Hospitality is a powerful way to be fully present for the people in your life. Romans 12:13 encourages you to: “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” You don’t need a large or beautiful home to practice hospitality. That’s because hospitality is just opening your life to others with intentional kindness. Genuine hospitality makes people feel seen, valued, and welcome, which is what matters most about being present. Look for specific ways to serve your guests that demonstrate your care and attention to their needs. Offer a friend who seems tired a comfortable chair, keep special diets in mind when cooking a meal, and draw people who seem left out of a conversation into the conversation you're all having, etc.
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9. Be present in shared faith:
Some of your most meaningful moments of presence can be found in just focusing on the true meaning of the season. Shared worship and spiritual reflection times during the holidays can help your whole family notice God’s presence with you all. Set aside time each day or week for a spiritual experience together, such as reading the Christmas story from Luke 2, lighting an Advent wreath, or praying for specific people. When you do so, be completely present in that sacred time. Colossians 3:16 urges you to: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”. Enjoy how expressing your faith together helps you become more aware of God's presence with all of you, united.
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10. Remember that your time together is limited:
The time you have right now with your loved ones is a restricted gift. You don’t know how many more holiday seasons you’ll get to share with the people you love here on earth. Holding onto this truth helps you savor the present and resist distractions. Every conversation, hug, and laugh you share with your family and friends is valuable. When you’re with your loved ones, take a moment to look around the room and silently thank God for the blessings in their lives. Hold the memory of their faces and voices in your heart with the understanding that you should be fully present for them while they’re here for a limited time. Psalm 90:12 prays for this same perspective: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Do all you can to make the most of your time together.
In conclusion, as you celebrate the ultimate gift of God’s presence in Jesus Christ this season, make it a priority to let God’s love flow through your life into the lives of the people around you. Being fully present challenges you to resist distractions to honor the people you love. But your family and friends are worth your time and attention. Nothing is more important than enjoying loving relationships – with God, and with the people in your life. Your full presence is the most valuable gift you can give this year!
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Originally published Tuesday, 04 November 2025.
