Thankfully, God gives parents some comforting promises in raising children, such as Proverbs 22:6, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
He also gives us instructions on keeping parents and kids on track, as Deuteronomy 11:18-19 encourages. “Fix these words of Mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Still, parents aren’t perfect, and even with our best intentions in our parenting decisions, we may sometimes make what seem like poor choices in raising our children. When we do, it’s easy for us to beat ourselves up and even feel like we’ve ruined their lives.
Sometimes, what we think are good decisions at the moment can have us second-guessing for a lifetime, especially when choices and decisions that seem right at the time lead to unexpected results in our children’s lives and in our lives, too.
Parenting Mistakes of Biblical Proportion
Looking at moms and dads in the Bible, we see how some sometimes made very questionable parenting choices. Such choices radically impacted and redirected their children’s futures.
Although we see how God worked it all together for good in their lives, leading to fulfilling His purposes and plans in each child’s life (Romans 8:28), the seemingly wrong choices their parents made could seem like catastrophic parenting blunders.
The following are four biblical parents who seemingly made colossal mistakes raising their children.
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1. Sarah’s Seemingly Mistaken Direction
As beautiful and wonderful as Sarah is described in the Bible, it seemed she had a moment of parental misdirection, thinking she had come up with a way of solving her and Abraham’s childlessness by giving her handmaiden to him to fulfill God’s promise of a son to her husband.
Sarah’s seemingly parental misdirection didn’t just affect one child, but two, and still affects countless lives today. As Genesis 16:1-2 describes her choice, “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an enslaved Egyptian named Hagar; so she said to Abram, ‘The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.’ Abram agreed to what Sarai said.”
Sarah’s parenting choice, supported by her husband, set the course for what seemed like a disaster. Genesis 16:5 describes what resulted from her decision.”Then Sarai said to Abram, ‘You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
Her parenting decision may have seemed like a massive error in judgment. She may have possibly felt that the baby born to her handmaiden, Ishmael, was a mistake, but we know that God had a purpose and plan for not only her promised son, Isaac, who would come along later through Sarah, but also his life.
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2. Rebekah’s Seemingly Mistaken Deception
Like many family experiences, Rebekah seemingly made the mistake of favoring her son, Jacob, over his twin brother, Esau, deciding she knew better than her husband, whom he should bless.
Choosing to manipulate the situation and deceive her husband so he would give her favored son the blessing, Rebekah seemed to take the situation into her own hands based on her desires and reasoning. Genesis 27:5-10 explains her plan.
“Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, ‘Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, “ Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the Lord before I die.” ‘Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just as he likes. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.”
Even though Rebekah’s plan seemed heartless and unfair to Esau and Isaac by tricking a father out of his dying wish and denying a son of his rightful blessing, her deception didn’t have the power to hinder God’s purpose and plan for their lives.
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3. Jacob’s Seemingly Mistaken Gift
As the father of twelve sons, Jacob seemingly made the mistake of showing favoritism to his son Joseph by giving him a beautiful coat, causing jealousy between him and his brothers. As Genesis 37:3-4 describes, “Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him. When his brothers saw their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak kindly to him.”
Jacob, or Israel, later named by God, seemed to make a colossal parenting mistake in openly favoring one son over his others. His choice altered Joseph’s life, leading him to be beaten and sold as an enslaved person by his brothers, falsely accused, jailed, and then rising to Egyptian power.
But Joseph understood that God works all things together for our good, even a parent’s seemingly poor choice, saying, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”(Genesis 50:20).
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4. Hannah’s Seemingly Mistaken Surrender
Unable to conceive, Hannah longed to be a mother, carrying the burden of childlessness. In her desperate sorrow, she surrendered her son-to-be to God, entrusting his upbringing to a priest known for his evil sons.
“And she made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if You will only look on Your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget Your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head’” (1 Samuel 1:11).
If Hannah ever felt it was a mistake to hand over her precious, long-awaited baby boy to the Priest Eli and his wicked sons, Scripture doesn’t tell us, but her surrendering of him may have seemed like a huge one to those around her.
Even so, we know God had a purpose and plan for her baby’s life. “So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I asked the Lord for him’” (1 Samuel 1:20).
Although many parents may find it too hard to surrender their child’s life and future to God, Hannah trusted God completely to watch over and take care of her son.
So what may have seemed like a catastrophic parenting mistake was a mother’s deep trust in a faithful God to direct her son’s future. “The Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of Samuel’s words fall to the ground” (1 Samuel 3:19).
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Originally published Sunday, 04 May 2025.
