Most of us find it hard to believe that anyone would have evil or selfish motives. As Christians, we’re taught to be servant-hearted people while caring for others as much as we do ourselves. In Sunday school, my young children learned the acronym for J.O.Y. meant, Jesus, others, then yourself. But as hard as it is to connect extreme selfishness with a Christian, narcissists do exist, even in our churches.
“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” (Luke 6:43-45)
When we don’t see the wolf in sheep’s clothing, missing the red flags, we can become entangled and find it hard to separate from them. As Christians who extend grace and mercy to people in our lives as an act of love, it’s even harder. We feel guilty and selfish for thinking of ourselves by asserting boundaries as an act of protection and self-preservation. And we make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior only to see the pattern of evil and abusive tactics repeating itself over and over again.
When you’re finding it hard to separate from a narcissist, these could be the reasons why.
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