Marriage is a God-ordained institution and a living representation of Christ’s love for His Church. So it isn’t rocket science that the enemy would abhor and attack the sanctity of marriage.
And it should come as no surprise that this same enemy would use daily distraction and petty disagreement to create a culture within the home that puts a wife at odds with the one she loves most.
He’d like nothing more than for our husbands to feel disrespected, discarded, and even demeaned by us—the very ones who vowed to love, honor, cherish them. That’s because he knows that if husbands feel valued and respected by their wives, they’ll thrive in their position as head of the marriage. And when that happens, the marriage thrives!
You can stand firm against the enemy’s threats to your marriage by asking God to:
· Help you show your husband respect in your words and actions
· Guard his heart and mind from temptation
· Surround your marriage with a hedge of protection from the enemy
In addition to prayer, here are 7 practical ways you can build up your husband, both spiritually and emotionally, and fortify your marriage.
1. Let Him Lead
As the head of the home, it’s your husband’s right and responsibility to lead. Encourage him to seek God’s wisdom and then stand by him, respecting his decisions. This encourages him in his walk with God and also shows your husband you believe he’s able to make choices that are best for your family.
Display your trust in your husband by letting him take the lead in decision making and then supporting his decision.
Father, thank You for giving me my husband to be the head of our home. Please help him to seek You in all matters. Sometimes it’s so hard for me to let him lead. I ask that You would help me trust that You are guiding him. Help me find ways to let him know I respect his decisions.
2. Praise Him in Front of Your Children
Praising your husband in front of your children not only lets your husband know you approve of him, it provides your kids a positive example of how to treat others. Praising publically instead of criticizing also shows your children you love and respect their father and demonstrates how a loving relationship between spouses should look.
Let your husband know you admire his Christ-like attributes by praising him publically.
Father, thank you for my husband. Please help me to hold my tongue when I’m tempted to find fault. I ask that You would put within me a desire to focus on my husband’s good traits. I pray that he would continue to be a Godly example to our children. Help me to always show him kindness and respect in front of others.
3. Thank Him for His Provision
Every husband wants to know he’s doing a good job of providing and protecting. Tell him how safe he makes you feel and how much you truly appreciate all he does for you. Thank him not only for the hard work he does at his job but for providing support for you in times of need and also providing security.
Think of ways you can express to your husband your appreciation for his taking care of your needs and protecting you.
Father, thank you for your holy provision and for helping my husband provide for me. I often forget to let my husband know how very thankful I am for all he does. Forgive me for taking him for granted. Please remind me daily to thank my husband for his willingness to provide and protect. Please bless our marriage.
4. Show Him Your Desire for Him
Just like us, husbands need to feel wanted. Your husband needs to know you desire him—and not just in the bedroom. It’s as simple as welcoming him home with a sweet tea and a kiss, helping him from the car with his gear, having the kids pause the Xbox and emerge from their caves long enough to make eye contact and welcome him home. He knows he’s truly wanted when you show him he’s missed when he’s been away and that his presence is greatly desired in the home (and bedroom).
Make the extra effort to show your husband he’s missed when he’s away and make him feel welcomed when he returns.
Father, thank you for your gift of marriage. Please forgive us for allowing the busyness of life to come between us and maybe even come first in our marriage. Most days I don’t even think we look each other eye-to-eye. Please help me reconnect with my husband—to let him know that no matter how busy and crazy life is that I still desire him and his presence in our home. Please help be more mindful of his need to know how important he is to me.
5. Seek His Input
We all want to feel included in the lives of those we love and our husbands are no different. A great way to include your husband is by seeking his input. From what color the new drapes should be to seeking his advice about that strained relationship with your closest friend, seeking his input shows him you value his opinion. It also allows you the opportunity to ask him to pray for you when things cause worry or have become hard for you to navigate.
Show your husband his opinion is important to you by asking him to be involved in the things that matter to you.
Father, thank you for my marriage. I confess that lately I haven’t included my husband in much of anything. Please give me opportunities to seek his involvement. Help this to not only draw us closer, but please use it to help me show my husband that I really do care what he thinks. Help me to ask him for advice and to pray for me when the matters of my heart have me overwhelmed.
6. Be His Biggest Fan
We who are mothers are pretty good at building up our kids and being their biggest fan. However, as wives we need to do the same for our husbands. When your husband has messed up, failed, or feels not good enough, be a soft spot for him to land and rest his head. Let him know that his failures don’t define him in your eyes nor in the eyes of God.
Let your husband know you’re his soft spot on the hard days.
Father, thank you for your grace and mercy. Help me to extend that same grace and mercy to my husband. Help me be my husband’s safe place to land and his encourager. Please help me remember that he needs to know I believe in him no matter what. When I’m tempted to be critical and demeaning, please take it away from me and replace it with words of love and kindness.
7. Let Him Teach You Something New
Nothing seems to make my husband’s day brighter than when he’s able to teach someone something new. Perhaps it’s the same for your husband. By having a teachable spirit—being open to learning something new from your husband, you’ll engage with him in an exciting way. Even if you’ve been married for decades, I’m sure there’s something he’s able to do that you’d be willing to learn more about. You’ll give his confidence a boost, and you might just find something new the two of you will love doing together for years to come.
Build your husband’s confidence in his abilities by asking him to teach you something new.
Father, thank you for my husband’s knowledge and abilities. It’s been so long since the two of us have shared a new experience. I can’t remember the last time I asked him to teach me something. Will you help me have a teachable spirit and seek opportunities to learn from my husband? I pray his confidence would be built up and that we would find something we love doing together to enrich our marriage. Please bring us closer together and strengthen our love for each other.
Renee Davis is a boy mom, PPD survivor, recovering fear-a-holic, and former educator. She lives on Christ and caffeine as she attempts to finally transcend mediocrity and live the life Jesus died for her to have. When not tied to her desktop and swimming in coffee, the native Floridian can be found wherever the water is salty, spending time with her son and husband of 15 years.
She’s a contributor to The Good Men Project, Crosswalk, and, most recently, The Washington Post. You can learn more about Renee’s journey and her passion for helping women find their worth in the Word, not the world, at The Stay@Home Scribe.
Originally published Tuesday, 18 July 2017.