Without any effort, expectations latch onto us before we ever get married. He must always be romantic, meet all of our emotional needs, take out the trash, manage the finances and make sure we have a fantastic and consistent date night. Together, we will have well behaved children, and live in an always clean and beautifully furnished dream home.
Sound familiar? Prior to meeting Mr. Wonderful, we’ve already mentally forced him into a box we crafted from our conscious and unconscious expectations. Pitted up against our expectations, reality will never measure up, leaving us disappointed.
So exactly what are we supposed to do with our ideals? Should we communicate our our unmet expectations to our husbands or simply abandon them altogether?
In fact, we see this illustrated in scripture through the life of Hannah. 1 Samuel 1:5 tells us that “the Lord closed her womb.” Then in 1 Samuel 1:8 we get a glimpse of how her unfulfilled expectations impacted her marriage. “Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
Hannah’s expectations collided with reality and left her devastated to the point of not eating. In response, we see a husband who loved his wife, but was powerless to impact her longing to become a mother. Instead of pointing Hannah to God, Elkanah mistakenly pointed her to himself as the solution for her pain.
This is a mistake we too may be tempted to make in marriage. We may look to our husbands to fulfill expectations when the best place to take them is our heavenly Father in prayer. Taking them to our spouse may have negative consequences. Here are 6 ways expectations can negatively impact a husband.