Fostering friendships takes time, energy, and communication. As adults, it can be difficult to build friendships because many individuals already have established friend groups. If you are someone who is trying to grow your friendships, know that you will need patience. True, genuine friends are hard to find, but they are out there. The Lord will help you in this area and direct you to great friends.
After you become acquainted with someone, it could be that you want to work on growing the friendship. This is a great thing to want because having friends can help you in many ways. Trusted Christian friends will be able to help you follow after God, remind you of God’s goodness, and be a source of support when times are hard.
If you are looking to grow your friendships, here are five ways:
1. Pray for God’s Help
One way to grow Christian friendships is to pray for God’s help. This is a helpful tip whether you are trying to find new friends or you are trying to grow your current friendships. If the former, ask for God to guide you to the right people. While this might feel like a vague prayer, it is actually very helpful. By asking for God’s help in prayer, you are acknowledging your dependence on Him.
Through acknowledging your dependence on Him, you are conveying the truth that you need God’s help, strength, and support. He will guide you to true friends and answer your prayers to help you find the right friends. You don’t need more fake friends or fair-weather friends. Instead, you need to have trustworthy, loyal friends. By praying for God to lead you to the right friends, you will find genuine friends who will be with you through the good and the bad.
If you are trying to grow and cultivate your Christian friendships, still pray for God’s help. He will be able to help your friendships flourish. Ask Him to help you connect with your friends. You can also ask Him to help you be vulnerable with your friends for you to be closer to your friends. Through being vulnerable, your friends will also be more prone to being vulnerable and sharing their feelings with you. This is how deep, meaningful friendships grow.
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2. Be Intentional
A second way to grow Christian friendships is to be intentional. Being intentional looks like sacrificing your own free time to spend with your friend, going out of your way to help them, and being by their side even during the hard days. Many people think being intentional is something that is too difficult for them, but that is not true. If we truly care about someone, we will be intentional in our relationship with them. We won’t “forget” their text message, nor will we go for days without replying to them for no good reason.
Instead, we will be intentional and go out of our way to help our friend. Many of us have faced fake friends, and they make us feel not good enough, weird, and even like a freak at times. These are not the type of people we need to spend time with. They will only make us feel bad about ourselves and cause us to second guess every decision we make. You deserve to have real Christian friends who are going to be intentional with you.
In the same way, we as individuals have to be intentional in our dealings with others. We don’t need to be passive, nor do we need to ignore our friends. If you have been in the habit of doing this, you have probably noticed that it doesn’t help your friendships. It probably does much damage and causes your friend to lose contact with you. Choose to be intentional and this will help you grow your Christian friendships.
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3. Be a True Friend
A third way to grow Christian friendships is to be a true friend. In order to have a friend, you have to be one. A true friend doesn’t lie, hurt, or purposely cause trouble for their friend. If you have ever known someone like this, you know it can be very damaging. When a friend betrays our trust, it can cause us to completely shut down. This is why it is important that we are a true friend to others as well as the people we are trying to befriend.
Normally, we can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat others. If they are not kind to other people or talk bad about people behind their back, they are probably not a good friend. If you see someone do this, don’t choose to invest time into them. Instead, look for true friends who will truly support you. Similarly, be a true friend to others. Growing Christian friendships will need to be based on true friendships—not on lies and betrayal.
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4. Spend Quality Time with Them
A fourth way to grow Christian friendships is to spend quality time with those people. Through spending quality time with them, you will be able to get to know them better and learn more about them. No friendship can grow without spending time with each other. Try to spend a few days each month with them. Don’t pull out your phone and don’t be distracted by other things.
Focus on what they are saying and what they are talking about. You might find you have many shared interests, and this will help you bond closer in your friendship. Also, by spending time with them, you will be able to connect with them on a deeper level. Instead of just knowing a few things about them, they will start feeling better about sharing struggles, problems, and prayer requests with you. This will be the start and growth of a beautiful friendship.
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5. Establish Common Christian Interests
A fifth way to grow Christian friendships is to find a common interest. This could be finding out each other’s favorite Bible verses, book of the Bible, or teaching from the Lord. By connecting on these things, you will be able to grow more in your friendship. This can also be done by sharing the same favorite Christian artist, song, or worship group. By sharing these common interests, you will have a foundational truth to establish your friendship.
While it is possible to be friends with someone who does not have the same interests as you, it can be hard to grow a deep friendship with them. If you have nothing in common, or they dislike things that you like, it can cause friction in the friendship. Both of you should respect each other’s interests, but if you have nothing in common with each other, it will be hard for the friendship to grow.
Growing your Christian friendships is a beautiful thing as well as it is a wonderful thing to make new friends. Christian friends will be able to point you back to Christ and be someone you can go to when you are struggling. You should feel safe and secure with your friends. They should be a safe place for you, just as you are for them. Ask the Lord to grow your friendships and He will help you in more ways than you can imagine.
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Originally published Wednesday, 18 June 2025.
