Blaming someone else for actions we took is one way we can feel better about those choices. A lot of adulterers blame the innocent spouse by saying they felt lonely, sexually deprived, and needed to seek attention elsewhere. Also, when someone says, “I wouldn’t have done ___ if you had or had not done ___” they’re using revenge-based thinking and actions to try to fix a problem within a relationship. This fixes nothing and only makes things worse (that sledgehammer again).
Instead, an emotionally healthy person will assertively address a relationship issue – like lack of intimacy or needs not being met – by having one or many conversations about the problem. Being hurt is not an excuse for destructive behavior, but often adulterous people try to use it. And we as a society seem to accept that as an excuse, don’t we?
Participating in infidelity merely to get needs met and/or hurt someone else is not only selfish but also revengeful. It shows lack of love or respect for that other person. Each of us can make choices that show our self-control and integrity even in times of temptation.
“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
Jen Grice is a Christian Divorce Mentor and Empowerment Coach, author of the book, You Can Survive Divorce: Hope, Healing, and Encouragement for Your Journey, a speaker, and a single homeschooling mom. She writes full-time at JenGrice.com and empowers women to survive and heal after their unwanted divorce on her YouTube channel as well. Jen believes that through God's healing, grace, and redemption that all Christian women can survive... and even thrive, after divorce. Navigating this foreign territory we call divorce? Feeling alone? Start here!
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