My husband proposed 6 months after we started dating. Everything was moving like clockwork, until it wasn’t. We hit an unanticipated mammoth sized bump on our road towards marital bliss that halted our journey towards happily-ever-after indefinitely.
Our church told us, in so many words, that we were not ready to get married. We both had some more introspective to be done before we could say “I do.” Although we could have packed our bags and headed to the county courthouse, we opted to submit to the leadership of our church. It was difficult, embarrassing, slow, and absolutely one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made.
That “no” forced me to work on the marriage rather than the wedding day. There were no dress fittings or cake tastings. It was just me working on myself.
This is a practice often left out of the marriage preparation equation. Our culture is obsessed with Bachlorette romances and fairy tale weddings that more so characterize a soap opera than a bona fide union. Marriages, however, are not made amid the Hollywood glitz and glam, but in the imperfect and often challenging behind the scenes work of becoming one.
Intuitively, we know this, but when a woman is blinded by bliss often her desire to experience a day she’s dreamt about overrides common sense. She may be reluctant to listen to the voice of wisdom, tempted to override internal checks and determined to ignore massive red flags indicating she is not ready to get married. Although it was tough to yield to that still small voice, I did, and as a result I have a few indicators for women who want to know if they are ready to get married.
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