Every marriage needs prayer. Without it, the relationship can quickly become stale, each spouse’s heart hardening with every passing day until they are on the brink of divorce. If you are in that position, there’s still hope. Pray every day for 30 days and see what God does in your marriage:
Day 1: Help us to know you more.
A strong marriage is built upon two people moving in the same direction trying to become more like Jesus. In order to do that, they must be connecting with God through the Word and prayer, among other spiritual disciplines. Each person must gently encourage the other when they are not engaging in these practices regularly and celebrate each other when they feel they are growing spiritually.
Day 2: Help us to love like you love.
It is hard for a couple to contemplate divorce when they are busy making sacrifices for the other’s welfare. Make a covenant with your spouse to love each other the way Christ loved His church. Sacrifice often. Forgive freely. Live to help your spouse achieve joy and purpose. Not only will you discover a newfound love for your spouse, but you will be living the abundant life Christ promised.
Day 3: Help us to see each other the way you do.
It is easy to get down on each other when we’ve allowed busyness and other distractions to detract from the relationship. Marriage takes work.
Reflect and ask God to help you see your spouse the way He sees them. Consult Scripture and pray regular blessings over your spouse. This does not have to be done directly to them, but you certainly can if you choose. When you take time to bless your spouse, the blessings will come back to you in a deeper love and appreciation for them. And you will see your spouse for who they trule are—a perons wholly loved by God.
Day 4: Help us to forgive like you forgive us.
Matthew 6:15 says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.”
Forgiveness is hard, especially if your spouse has wronged you through infidelity or another grievous sin. But there is nothing that can’t be forgiven because it is all covered under the blood Christ shed for us on the cross.
When a marriage functions with this reality in mind, you can (with Christ’s help) free your spouse from the prison of sin—and free yourself from the burden of unforgiveness.
Day 5: Help us to be slow to anger.
“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 86:15)
God shows compassion toward those He loves, and so should we. Pray and ask God to help you see your spouse with His eyes and not your own. It will revolutionize the way you see and act in your marriage. Practice compassion and be slow to get angry. The less angry you become, the more love you’ll display.
Day 6: Help us to be slow to speak.
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason: He wants us to listen twice as much as we speak. There are times in marriage—especially during conflict—when we want to fix the other person or say something encouraging.
There are times that God wants to use us as His mouthpiece, but sometimes, He just wants us to remain silent. Part of spiritual maturity is discerning when God wants us to speak and when He wants us to zip our lips.
Day 7: Help us be quick to love.
Loving like Jesus also means we need to be quick to love others—and love them deeply. When we are in conflict or feeling distant from our spouse, it is difficult to love them, or even ourselves. The more we practice loving others as ourselves, the better off our hearts and our marriages will be.
Day 8: Help us to be rich in compassion.
“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36)
If Jesus had compassion on others, we should too—especially when it comes to our spouse. When your spouse is hurting, do you hurt too? Compassion allows us to feel concern and pity for others’ misfortunes. The more compassion you have for your spouse, the more you can help them carry their burdens.
Day 9: Help us be faithful to each other.
In marriage, there are many ways to be unfaithful. For example, giving work priority over your spouse can severely damage your relationship.
A healthy marriage is one where both partners can hold each other accountable. If there are areas of unfaithfulness, get real and honest and repent of it. Don’t let anything master you or your marriage.
Day 10: Help us live out our individual purpose.
Each person in a marriage must know who they are as individuals in order to thrive together. Spouses should encourage each other to fulfill that individual purpose.
Purposes don’t unfold all at once, and you might not know what your spouse’s is. Still, be the cheerleader who encourages your spouse to be the best person they can be.
Day 11: Help us raise kids that grow up knowing you.
While it is good to take your kids to church and Sunday school, it’s also important to teach them how to develop their own relationship with God. Kids need to know God intimately just as much as we parents do.
Teach them how to pray, how to be authentic in their prayers, and how to listen to the Holy Spirit. This will help them build a strong foundation of faith and give them the gift of an intimate relationship with Jesus.
Day 12: Help us empower our children to discover their purpose.
Many kids leave the faith as adults because they have trouble finding their place in it as they grow older. They may attend youth group and other activities only to find that when they outgrow it, they don’t have a place within the church body.
Be parents who prepare your kids to find their place within the church long before they grow up. Encourage and support them in finding ways to connect with others and build relationships.
Day 13: Help us discover our spiritual gifts.
Every Christian has spiritual gifts given to them at the time of conversion. But not everyone uses them to their full effectiveness. As partners in life, it is important for spouses to help each other discover their gifts and use them. Take a spiritual gifts inventory for a refresher on what your gifts are. Then, help each other find a way to use those gifts, both inside and outside the church.
Day 14: Help us have a clear vision.
“Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom's instruction.”(Proverbs 29:18.)
All marriages need a vision statement. If you don’t have one, create one. Encapsulate the goal of your marriage in one sentence. Write it down and put it where you can be reminded. Then work toward that goal.
Day 15: Help us have intentionality in our marriage.
Marriage takes work and sacrifice. Be intentional in your marriage. Do what you can to put your spouse’s needs first. Like anything else, being intentional pays dividends when it comes to the overall health of your marriage.
Day 16: Help us to be equally yoked.
Scripture says we should not be unequally yoked, meaning two people cannot walk together unless they agree on a direction.
Can you be unequally yoked in your marriage? Yes! A yoke is used to tie two oxen together so they go in the same direction. For believers, that means both people must be going in the same direction as Jesus. As spouses become unsatisfied in marriage, they tend to veer off in a different direction. Make sure you and your spouse are moving in the same direction mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Day 17: Help us to bear your image.
Both males and females bear the image of Christ. When two people marry, they mirror the relationship Jesus wants to have with the church—His bride. It is important to help your spouse bear the image of Christ so others see Jesus in them. Complement your spouse when they exhibit the fruits of the spirit and speak the truth in love when they don’t.
Day 18: Help us be missionaries to each other.
Mission work is not only done overseas; it is also done in the home. If there are any areas where your marriage needs healing, let each spouse do the work of uncovering the parts of the marriage Jesus needs to heal. And help each other to heal where needed.
Day 19: Help us be a positive influence on others.
While no marriage is perfect, we can certainly hope that the way we treat each other in public is a positive light to others—especially to those whose marriages are in trouble.
Everything we do in this life matters, including how we speak and react to our spouse, both in public and in private. Be cognizant of how you speak to each other; you never know who might be watching.
Day 20: Help us to value and discover each other's dreams.
It is important to help your spouse discover (and fulfill) their dreams. Marriage should not be a codependent relationship but rather an interdependent one: each person should have the space to achieve their personal goals while also helping their spouse do the same.
Day 21: Help us pray daily for our children.
For kids who grew up in Christian homes, some of the most valuable memories are of their parents on their knees praying for them. Be a couple that prays for your kids from birth. Give your kids the confidence that no matter what they are going through, they can come to you with their problems knowing that you, in turn, will go to God.
Day 22: Help us to be better people.
Ask yourself how you can help your spouse be a better person. And do what you can to be someone they can honestly say they are better for knowing (and marrying).
Day 23: Help us to analyze our hearts regularly.
As spouses, we need to 'play doctor' with our hearts. A weekly heart check analyzing your behavior and how that behavior has affected your relationships with those around you is vital to the health of your marriage. Ask the Lord to reveal anything that might be hindering you from having a good marriage. Confess your sins and seek repentance.
Day 24: Help us to have intimacy in our marriage.
So many marriages only reach a surface level. This is because many people are either afraid to go deeper in their relationship with God and others, or they don’t know how. It is not enough to merely believe in God; we must engage in the intimate communion He desires with us. When we can go deep in our relationship with God, we will, in turn, go deep in our relationship with our spouse.
Day 25: Help us to be honest with each other.
In the first years of a marriage, partners often communicate at a superficial level. As each person matures, however, they learn how to communicate their deepest, darkest fears and doubts. If you are ready to talk at a deeper level with your spouse, establish some ground rules and ask your spouse to listen freely without feedback or criticism. Take turns communicating deeply so there can be freedom in your marriage.
Day 26: Help us have no secrets.
Secrets in a marriage are a tool the enemy uses to keep us bound to sin. To experience true freedom, secrets must be confessed.
If you can’t confess your secrets to each other (which is ideal), find someone whom you trust to confess them to. Walk in the light so you can walk with your spouse in freedom.
Day 27: Help us to stay strong against the enemy.
What Scripture says is true: the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). The only way you can effectively protect each other is by getting on your knees. Pray against the enemy daily. Keep him away from your marriage so it stays strong.
Day 28: Help us want wisdom over wealth.
Solomon prayed for wisdom from the Lord (1 Kings 3:4-14). Because of this, God blessed him with both wisdom and wealth.
In a marriage, it is better to have wisdom than wealth. Pray and ask God to give you both wisdom so you can apply biblical principles to everyday situations.
Day 29: Help us restore the parts that are broken.
Every marriage is broken because we are all broken people. Although partners can’t always objectively help each other heal, they should both push each other to purue healing so they can be the best people in their marriage. Christian marriages can find comfort in the fact that God always wants healing and health for every marriage that puts Him first.
Day 30: Help us to put you first.
This is the final and most important part of a marriage. A marriage that doesn’t have God at the center is a recipe for disaster. Seek God first in every aspect of your marriage. Spouses who follow God will find not only a successful marriage, but a joy-filled one.
Michelle S. Lazurek is an award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife and mother. Winner of the Golden Scroll Children's Book of the Year, the Enduring Light Silver Medal and the Maxwell Award, she is a member of the Christian Author's Network and the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. She is also an associate literary agent with Wordwise Media Services. For more information, please visit her website at michellelazurek.com.
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