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How to Rekindle the Date Night Romance (When You Have Nothing to Talk About)

How to Rekindle the Date Night Romance (When You Have Nothing to Talk About)

We escaped—practically fled from our house—and drove off into the sunset towards our favorite restaurant. A Valentine’s date night was long overdue. After we were seated, I couldn’t help admiring the fancy cloth napkins and red roses on the table. (We had been existing on chili dogs and nachos served on paper plates at our kids’ basketball games.) A little candlelight and ambiance were sorely needed.

We began to talk. How long had it been since we had a real conversation? Midway through the hors d’oeuvres, I realized we had been talking about the kids for twenty minutes straight. That's when it hit me: what else did we have to talk about? I couldn’t remember. Somehow, romance felt distant. Where had it gone?

When we were dating, we talked for hours. We stayed up late discussing ideas, dreams, and random thoughts. We took long walks together in a little park near our college campus, never running out of things to say. But somehow, after having three children, along with jobs, schoolwork, and sports, the romance had . . . ebbed.

Maybe you can relate.

Romance is a very important part of marriage, yet if we aren’t careful, it can get lost in the busyness of life. So, what topics rekindle romance? Here are 20 Valentine’s Day date night conversation starters that will help you draw closer to your spouse:

1. Name 5 adjectives that describe our first date.
2. My favorite memory from when we were dating is … because …
3. My favorite memory of our wedding day is …
4. The song that always makes me think of you is … because …
5. The funniest thing that has happened since we’ve been married is …
6. The thing I appreciate about you most is …
7. The greatest strength of our marriage is …
8. Currently, I daydream about …
9. You make me feel great about myself when … How can we make each other feel like that more often?
10. My favorite song is … because …
11. The first time you remember feeling like, “God is actually real,” was…
12. I want to be remembered for this one thing … How can we help each other develop this?
13. My favorite activity when I was younger was ... Should we add it to our lives now?
14. Our kids would freak out if they knew we …
15. If I could spend 24 hours doing anything in the world with you, it would be…
16. The world’s best anniversary trip would be to go to …
17. My favorite photo of us is the one where …
18. I feel you love me the most when you …
19. The last time we laughed the hardest was …
20. My greatest need right now is …

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Make a special date with your spouse. View the occasion as an opportunity to invest in your marriage. Enjoy each other. Laugh. Hold hands. Listen. Let your spouse know how much you love them by rekindling the romance on Valentine’s Day.


May Patterson has been writing and teaching bible study classes for years. Her new book, “Seeking a Familiar Face,” was birthed from a Bible study she wrote in 2014 called “A Time to Seek.” She was trained in small group dynamics for over ten years at Bible Study Fellowship, serving as a leader for four years. She has written for several magazines including Focus on the Family, Upper Room Magazine and Shattered Magazine, among others. She is married to her dear friend, Mike, and they have three grown children. She loves to tell stories, laugh, and talk about the adventure of seeking God. For more information, visit http://www.maypatterson.com.