Marriage Is a Spiritual Practice, We All Need Help Learning How to Do It Well
For a long time, I thought my marriage just was, like a giant boulder or a canyon. Like me, it was imperfect, end of story.
But marriages, like people and faith, are growing, changing things. Through God’s power, wise counsel, and new skills, we can, in Paul’s words in Romans 12:2, “be transformed by the renewing of our minds.”
Many of us assume that we’re stuck with the personalities and traits we’re born with. But like Paul’s transformation on the Damascus road, people and relationships are malleable. Sometimes that’s through God’s almighty miracles, but more often, it’s through slow, everyday practices. Even Paul’s conversion was not only instantaneous, but also a years-long transformation into brave apostle and evangelist. It both happened overnight and took a very long time.
Just as prayer, Bible study, fasting, and other spiritual disciplines can contribute to that “renewing of our minds,” so wise counsel can too. As psychologist Carol Dweck asserts in her book, Mindset, trusting that we can gain new skills in our lives (and our marriages) means we’ll be more likely to do the necessary work to seek wholeness and improvement.
Your marriage might be fine right now—but it could get better. Don’t find any excuse for putting off that joyful possibility.
Heather Caliri is a writer from San Diego who uses tiny, joyful yeses to free herself from anxiety. Tired of anxiety controlling your life? Try her mini-course, “Five Tiny Ideas for Managing Anxiety," for free here.
Photo Credit: Unsplash/Roman Kraft