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There were a few different ways I spent my Valentine’s Days in my single years. I didn’t get married until I was 30-years old (which was ancient in my Midwest bubble!) so I like to think I learned a few things in my twenties.
The first few years out of high school all my girlfriends were single so we would go to someone’s house and make cookies while we watched a classic romance and talked about the boys we had an eye on. It was a girlfest in its truest form. Or we may have dressed up in our best and gone out for a night on the town.
Then as they married off, I really wouldn't have called it celebrating but rather a quiet rebellion against the day. I’d get in my most comfortable PJ’s, grab a spoon and Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, and pop in my favorite romantic comedy at the time. There would have been a tear or two over the fact I didn’t get flowers like all the other girls at work, and that I was alone with my carbs and fantasy.
Having celebrated V-Day a few different ways before I got married (less than a year ago!), I have some tips for all the single ones out there.
1. Make Valentine’s Day Plans
I always had a better Valentine’s Day when I was spending it with others rather than alone. My favorite one as a single gal was the night a group of my best guy and girl friends went out for dinner. We had fun together, laughing and talking. In our minds, it wasn’t even Valentine’s Day and we had a blast!
Don’t spend the day alone; chances are you’ll end up becoming depressed over your singleness and have your own pity party. That’s not a way to spend any day!
Instead of hanging out with yourself, find a few other single friends and organize a celebration.
2. Get Dressed & Go Out
There is something so fun about getting dressed up, fixing your hair, and going out for a fun evening downtown. Chances are, you’ll forget all about being single on a couple’s holiday, and you’ll have fun!
Don’t stay home to eat your Ben & Jerry’s ice cream while you watch some sappy romance movie. Staying home in your sweatpants will be a downer on the night.
Grab your friends and go to your favorite restaurant. Maybe go bowling and grab some dessert afterward. It doesn’t even have to be expensive; I spent one Valentine’s Day with a group of friends at Steak & Shake and we had an absolute blast!
3. Have Fun!
I know that’s easier said than done but Valentine’s Day is meant to be a wonderful day filled with fun! Find a way to make it enjoyable. Have lunch with a friend that makes you laugh. Take a road trip with your best friend to a nearby city.
What you don’t want to do is sulk because that can make you more depressed about the day. I spent one Valentine’s Day alone after having recently moved halfway across the country and I knew no one. It was a bit hard because I had just left the only home I had ever known and all my friends behind, and now was in a new city. I decided to take advantage of the day and explore the area, so I went to the beach and soaked up the sunset. It wasn’t a bad way to spend the day!
Maybe you’re in a new city or having a hard time finding a single friend to celebrate with. Find something that would be really fun to YOU and do it!
4. Celebrate the Season
Many times a single person can use the day to beat their single drum. “Woe is me” is their anthem. I’ve been there and understand the loneliness too well, but I also know it’s not healthy to go to that place.
I remember married people use to tell me that I should enjoy my singleness because once I’m married I’ll never have that flexibility again. To be honest, I use to chuckle at it, because sure, it was easy for them to say that--they had someone! But now that I’m married I see the value to such a statement. The flexibility to do whatever you want on any day is sort of a gift.
Don’t be bitter about your singleness but instead, embrace it. There is a certain sweetness to the season and I would encourage you to savor it as much as possible. It’s a season God has you in at this time for a reason and we are called to give praise in every season of life!
5. Hold Firm
I would venture to say Valentine’s Day is a day some may compromise for the sake of filling an ache in their heart. Going out with an unbeliever, or more, testing the boundaries of what’s right and wrong. Maybe having too much wine at the local bar.
Don’t compromise your values and who you are in Christ for a momentary fulfillment that will ultimately leave you empty and filled with regret. It’s not worth it.
Stay true to who you are and the calling placed on your life. In fact, radiate the goodness of God in your singleness. Matthew 5 says you are to bring out the God-colors in this world so go do it!
Make this a Valentine’s Day to remember; the best one you’ve had in your single years. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have fun!
Brittany Rust is a writer, speaker, and has the privilege of serving on staff at Red Rocks Church in Denver, CO. She is also the founder and director of Refresh Women's Event. Brittany and her husband Ryan make their home in the Rocky Mountains, pursuing outdoor adventures, great food, and memorable stories together. Her website brittanyrust.com aims to supply encouraging resources for the world-wearied believer.
Publication date: February 11, 2016